


Gold-Crested Ravens and Cornflower Blue Mornings

by wtfoctagon



Series: (be)longing and the state of being lost [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Clark and Lois are having a baby and want Kara to be the kryptonian equivalent of a godmother, F/F, Lena is trying to good in this world but she gets framed for murder, Lois is staying with Lucy in national city for her pregnancy, about krypton and her life in general, belonging and chosen family, idk a lot is going on but its really just a longwinded excuse to let kara be sad and angry, meant to be a sequel to sunlit honey but reads fine without, so the supergang has to clear her name
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 56,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9263753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfoctagon/pseuds/wtfoctagon
Summary: And belonging is such a weird concept, no? On a pure denotative level, it implies ownership, and society—only when it’s convenient to do so—discourages notions of owning a person. You belong to yourself, they say, no one should own you.But people cannot go on without belonging. It’s all Lena’s ever wanted. She wants to belong to Kara. There is no levy, no negotiations, no cage, no footsteps to follow. Kara erases the notion of transaction from the act of belonging, rips up the contracts and fine print, and Lena wants and wants more. I’m yours, she wants to say, whisper into her skin, shout out into the sky that she disappears into. I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours.





	1. Where one house lives, and the other dies

**Author's Note:**

> Meant to be read after Sunlit Honey and Lavender Sunsets, but it reads fine without. You'll just be confused af abt who tf Jess is dating.

“Will you please stop eavesdropping on my assistant?”

Lena hardly looks up from her work when Kara jumps and grumbles at her, fiddling with her cape.

“I am not.”

She glances at her just to quirk a brow incredulously.

“You get this scrunchy look on your face when you’re concentrating your hearing, Kara. It’s very adorable but I’d appreciate it if you’d respect my employee’s privacy.”

Kara huffs as she crosses her arms, not-quite glaring at Lena. She’s leaning against the desk just next to Lena, facing outwards to the city, and Lena thinks she looks beautiful like that— lit up by the afternoon sunlight streaming in from the windows, dark blonde hair lit up like gold and blue eyes speckling like the sky itself, shadows falling across her strong frame like some greek hero in a painting.

(No less than two months into their fledgling relationship and Lena finds herself ridiculously enamored with the Kryptonian. She knows she should be wary. She knows she needs to slow the hell down. But one pesky sentence dances around her thoughts far too often, taking silent shape in her lips, mouthed on the back of a sleeping Kara’s neck.)

“She’s _giggling,_ Lena. She _never_ giggles.”

Lena blinks at her a few times. Indeed, she’s never heard Jess giggle, much less laugh out loud. Snicker quietly, maybe, usually at Lena’s expense.

“Are we talking about the same person? Are you _sure?_ ”

Kara nods vigorously, nose scrunching up cutely again. “She’s blushing and the whole bit too. I can’t make out who’s on the other end of the phone.”

Lena gulps down the disappointment in her throat, because Jess _doesn’t_ giggle and Lena would’ve liked to know who on Earth could be causing that kind of a reaction in her.

“Well,” she says, clearing her throat to gather herself. “Who she does or doesn’t talk to is her business, not ours.”

Kara rolls her eyes.

“Please, like you’re not dying of curiosity, either. She’s definitely dating someone, Lena,” she says, excited and conspiratorial. “Jessica Yu Ling Hoang is _dating_ someone.”

Lena mentally goes through her list of possible candidates, checking off all L-Corp employees because, _please_ , Jess would probably rather chop off her own hand before engaging in a workplace romance. And Lena doesn’t know much about Jess’s social life outside of work, really. Which is, normal for a boss and assistant relationship but Jess knows so much about her that she feels a little deflated. Then again, she’s never been at the office without Jess. Her assistant probably has as much free time as she does, which isn’t a lot—maybe she just doesn’t have much of a social life to talk about.

That doesn’t make Lena feel any better.

“How do you know her birth name?”

Kara sniffs a little guiltily.

“That’s… irrelevant.”

Lena snorts, wondering if Kara’s picked up the habit of cyberstalking from herself or from Alex.

“Well, good for her. I’m glad she’s found someone again after so long.”

“So long?” Kara asks, eyes focusing on her intently and head tilting in that confused way that Lena loves so much.

Lena sighs and pauses in her writing, twirling her pen in her hand instead as she mulls over her words.

“Last year, when she decided to stay on for the company move to National City, she and her fiancé broke up,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee and turning her chair towards Kara. “They say you never know a person until you see them at their worst. He flew down here to stalk her for a while.”

“Oh.” Lena sees Kara’s hands tighten, just a little bit, her face falling in sympathy as he body tenses up in protectiveness. Lena feels a small, brief, affectionate smile at a corner of her lips despite herself.

“I only found out about it when I saw him harassing her in front of the building. Poor girl was so _mortified_ when I called security for her.” Lena grimaces. She remembers the reddened face, the humiliated scowl, the refusal to make eye contact and the frantic, but short apologies. “Apparently it’d been going on for weeks, and she just never said anything. Too stubborn to ask for help,” she says, her lips curling around the words a little angrily. She looks up in surprise when Kara chuckles softly.

“Sounds like someone I know.” And her blue eyes crinkle so lovingly, so softly, sparkling with what Lena logically knows is just a reflection of the sun but feels suspiciously like _adoration_ that Lena feels her heart skip a beat.

“Well,” Lena coughs. “Birds of a feather.”

Kara’s affectionate smile dimples just a bit further before she scuffs her boots a little bit shyly.

“Oh,” she says, perking up again. “How was your meeting with J’onn?”

“Good,” Lena smiles, chest falling in relief again as she thinks back to her near panic attack meeting the Martian. “I have the DEO’s blessing to go ahead with the project. I’ll be pitching the idea to the board next week.”

And be snapped up by corporate sharks, if she’s not careful. Since learning of the small, understaffed alien clinic operating out of the far side of town, Lena’s been going at the efforts to draft up an effective game plan to have it expanded and funded by L-Corp. It couldn’t be a more perfect redemption for her company if she tried to find one—all the leftover research on alien physiology left over from Lex’s time finally has a purpose that isn’t mired in xenophobia and genocide. She can finally turn the Luthor name around, make a positive difference in the world.

Lena won’t deny that the pride she can feel radiating off of Jess and Kara doesn’t contribute to her fervour. Her assistant has been nothing but enthusiastically supportive, in her quiet way, showing up every morning with draft upon draft of press releases or profit projections or what have you to pretty up the proposal for the board.

And Kara? Well. Lena’s always felt like that spat over the alien detection device was a sore spot between them. The grin filled with wonder that spread across Kara’s face when Lena first made the suggestion is more than enough to patch that up.

Kara smiles at her kind of like that all over again before snapping into a frown, her eyes peering at the door.

Lena sets her pen down, tensing up.

“Kara? What is it?”

Her intercom buzzes before she can answer.

“Miss Luthor,” Jess’s voice says, and there’s a sharp kind of hesitation, a warning in the low tone. “NCPD officers are here to see you.”

Kara’s standing up straight now, and Lena can see Supergirl in the tense set of her shoulders as she furrows her brows at her. She looks down at Lena’s hand on the intercom button, then back up at her eyes, and Lena can’t tell what she’s trying to tell her except that she’s worried. She presses the button, tearing her eyes away.

“Send them in,” she says, before standing up and straightening out her blazer. Kara turns and stands by, giving her another worried look as Lena rounds her desk.

The doors open a little more forcefully than necessary. Maggie Sawyer and another, taller officer walk in, jaws set grimly so unlike the usual Detective Sawyer that she’s used to seeing. Not that she sees Sawyer that often anyway, but when Sawyer just nods at Kara with a tight-lipped smile instead of the usual big grin and chime of “Supergirl,” Lena feels her throat tighten.

Because, of course, it can’t be anything good. Not in Lena’s life. If there’s something to go wrong, it will go wrong. Lena shoots another look at Kara’s rigid stance before slipping into her best business smile.

“Detective Sawyer,” she greets, folding her hands in front of herself. “And…?”

The taller one holds his hands behind his back. “Detective Ramirez.”

Lena nods, Sawyer fixes her with a fake polite smile, tapping the thin folder in her hands.

“Miss Luthor, thank you for seeing us. We were hoping to ask you a few questions.”

“Of course. Please, take a seat—would you like anything to drink?”

“Actually,” Sawyer says, shifting uncomfortably, glancing back at Kara—who’s currently trying to be as intimidating as possible, watching intently—before setting her jaw. “It’s probably better if we talked in private.”

Lena sees Kara clench her jaw and fists, slipping into steel and planting herself in the office with just a small shift of posture. Lena’s heart flips briefly at the sight of Kara so ready to fight for her, stand her ground, but she tries to smile as reassuringly as she can.

“I’ll talk to you later…?”

She’s afraid that Kara will refuse, but after a beat the hero uncrosses her arms with a sunny smile as she steps closer to Lena.

“Of course,” she murmurs, holding her waist gently and planting a firm kiss on her cheek. “I’ll call you.”

It’s one more stern look at the detectives before she’s out the balcony door, up, up and away. Lena tries not to be nervous at the brazen claim and clear warning—Lena is under Supergirl’s protection. Kara’s glare was more pointed at Ramirez than Sawyer, but even so—Sawyer is her sister’s girlfriend, and therefore family, and Lena knows it takes a lot for Kara to be anything but loving towards family.

What the hell did she overhear?

Lena turns back to the detectives just recovering from surprise, clearing her throat and walking around to sit at her desk once again.

“Now, Detectives,” she says, leaning back in her chair. “What can I do for you?”

She knows that Kara is still probably eavesdropping on the meeting. It’s as comforting as it is nerve wracking.

“Do you know anyone by the name James Stratford?”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Lena laces her fingers together in her lap.

“Unfortunately, yes. He’s been loitering around the front of my building and harassing my employees for a meeting with me for the past week.”

“And have you met with him?” Ramirez asks, frowning critically.

“Once, yes, when he first demanded my audience. It wasn’t a very fruitful meeting, you understand,” she sighs. “He didn’t even have any coherent demands for me to consider. Just accused me of being just like my family in some… choice words before I had him escorted out of the building.”

Another fucking Luthor, a murderer like the rest of them, etc. It’s rather ironic, really, considering she’s just finalizing the details for a press release about expanding and investing in an alien clinic.

Sawyer’s lips purse. “So you two disagreed?”

Lena scoffs. “If that’s what you’re getting out of that, then yes, we had a rather strong disagreement, though I’m not sure what specifically it is I’ve done recently to garner his attention.”

Ramirez’s face twitches and Lena can swear he just smirked a little. Sawyer opens the folder and looks down at some printout, frowning.

“Can you tell us about your whereabouts around eleven pm last night?”

Lena frowns, hands unclasping as she lets one wrist rest on her desk, picking up her pen and twirling it.

“At my apartment, getting ready for bed, as I usually do on weeknights.”

“Is there anyone who can confirm that?” Ramirez prods, and Lena doesn’t like the way he shifts his weight, leaning on his right side like he’s already got all the answers he needs.

Lena hesitates for a beat. “The doorman can confirm that I got home around ten pm and didn’t leave until the morning, and I suppose you can consult the building’s security cameras.” She takes a breath, glancing down at her fiddling pen. “As well as Supergirl.”

Sawyer’s eyebrows rise.

“She was with you?”

Lena just nods. Ramirez seems displeased and she feels oddly smug.

Sawyer shoots him a disapproving look before closing the file and continuing.

“I understand that you have a nine millimetre registered under your name?”

Lena’s lungs turn to lead at that, lips twitching once in a slip of composure.

“Yes, I keep it in my bedroom for safety purposes.” She smirks coldly. “I haven’t touched it since the day I bought it, but you can’t be too careful when your brother’s trying to kill you from behind bars.”

Sawyer nods solemnly and Ramirez shifts impatiently. Lena’s getting tired of all this beating around the bush herself.

“Would you mind telling me what this is all about?” she drawls, leaning forward against her desk and bracing herself for the confirmation she doesn’t want.

Maggie Sawyer clenches her jaw.

* * *

 

_“We’re finally getting that bitch behind bars.”_

_“Shut the fuck up, Tony.”_

What she heard while Maggie and that other detective were getting out of the L-Corp elevator is really, really not comforting. But Kara doesn’t get to listen in on Lena’s interrogation like she wanted to because about fifteen people need her help in the span of five minutes, and then it’s hours before she has a chance to check her phone and notice that Clark’s calling her.

She’s itching to fly back to Lena or Alex or something to ask what the hell’s going on, to protect her girlfriend, but she knows her sister would call her the moment anything happens to Lena.

So she sits down at her apartment and picks up her phone.

“Clark?”

“Hey Kara.” He sounds a little breathless, a little unsure, and her instincts kick in.

“What’s wrong? Do you need me to fly over?”

He laughs, an awkward little thing that sounds way too nervous. “No, no, nothing’s wrong. I just, um, I need to tell you something.”

“Alright,” she says, cautiously. It’s odd, being simultaneously older and younger than him—in some parts of her mind she sees him as a mentor, an older family figure, the alien who knows humans better and can guide her through the world. In other parts, especially when he’s stumbling over his Kryptonian words, catching himself being genuinely clumsy, needing to ask Kara for an explanation on some passage or another in the Fortress of Solitude—

She sees the little infant wrapped in a red blanket, crying and reaching for her on the day he was born, and her protectiveness jumps into full gear.

“What is it?”

“You might… you might want to be sitting down for this.”

That sets her on edge more than anything.

“What’s going on?”

She knows he hears the hardening of her voice and he coughs, stammers a little bit.

“Just—just sit down, okay? It’s nothing bad. I hope.”

 _What the heck is that supposed to mean?_ She flops down on the couch anyway.

“Okay, I’m sitting. What’s wrong, Clark?”

He takes in a huge breath. “Nothing’s wrong, okay? I just—you might not be too happy about it.”

Kara leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

“You know you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah, I—“ he gives another breathless, nervous laugh. “I know. It’s just—I, um—it’s about Lois.”

Her eyes narrow.

“What about Lois? Is she okay?”

“Yeah yeah yeah, she’s fine, she’s, better than fine, she’s great actually, thank you, for asking—“

“Clark.” She swears the nervous rambling is an El family trait.

He sighs.

“She’s pregnant.”

Kara blinks.

“What?”

“She—she’s pregnant. We’re having a baby.”

The words come out choppily, and Kara’s attempts at processing them are just as fractured.

“What do you mean she’s—“she gasps. “Don’t tell me she—with _who_?”

“Whoah, whoah, calm down, she didn’t—it’s mine. The baby. I’m—I’m going to be a father.”

Her mouth tries to form words, but it all comes up empty. There’s a vague rushing sound in her ears, her heart beating out of her chest faster and faster as she starts to understand what he’s saying.

“How—but we’re not— _how?”_

Clark laughs a little bit, sniffling once. “That’s what I asked too. But from the ultrasounds so far, it’s definitely Kryptonian—or at least partially, it’s hard to say what genes have been passed on and what hasn’t.”

“I—“ something is lodged in her chest, right in the center with her heart, and her eyes are burning. “That’s—Clark. Is it—is it healthy? Is Lois going to be okay?”

He hesitates, and Kara runs through a million different heartbreaking possibilities in that one second.

“We don’t know. That’s kind of why I’m calling—I was hoping Eliza would be willing to look at Lois, maybe tell us what we can do…”

“Of—of course,” Kara says, and why is her voice getting so strained? “I’ll call her right away, book her a ticket to Metropolis—“

“Actually,” he cuts in. “I was hoping she’d go to National City. Lois is planning to stay down there until the baby’s born.”

“Why?”

(No, seriously, is she blubbering?)

“Well, she wants to stay with Lucy while she’s—she’s having the baby, and, you, you’re—“ He stops and tries again. “I was hoping you could be the baby’s _Rao’i’rral._ ”

The word tumbles clumsily from Clark’s mouth and hits Kara full in the face with memories, feelings she hasn’t confronted in a long time.

_Her mother dabs scented oil on Aunt Lara’s forehead, then swollen stomach. There are prayers too long for her to remember, and she’s dozing off in the morning sun as Astra nudges her playfully in the side._

_“Watch well, Little One. You’re going to have to do that too, one day.”_

_“Why?” She whines, kicking her feet a little into the blue grass of the garden._

_“You are the eldest daughter of the family. You will become the Keeper of the House one day, as your mother and I’s older sister is for the House of Ze.”_

_“I know, but why the ritual? Didn’t father say nothing’s wrong with the baby?”_

_Astra smiles at her._

_“Physically, yes. But the path from Rao to Krypton is long and fraught, and we pray for the safe passage of the newborn soul into the body, lest the soul of the mother be taken in instead.” She smirks. “At least, that’s how the stories tell it. Were you not paying attention to your tutor again, Little One?”_

_She pouts as her mother gathers Lara up into her arms, kissing her on both sides of the head._

_“He’s boring. And half the time I already know what’s he’s talking about, better than him. I just want to start Guild School already.”_

_Astra just grins at that, wrapping an arm around her small shoulders and squeezing her lightly._

_“Have patience, my darling. Brilliant as you may be, you are but yet a child, and others will treat you so. But one day,” she says, looking down into Kara’s eyes with pride bursting to the brim. “You are going to change the world.”_

“Kara?”

Clark’s voice brings her back, and she wipes a tear from her face as she coughs.

(When did she start crying?)

“You don’t have to say yes, it’s just that—you’re the last lady of the house, and—“

“ _I’d be honored, Kal-El_ ,” she whispers, Kryptonian words croaking over the sobs in her throat. “ _It would be my honor to serve your child as Rao’s Hand._ ”

She hears him cough, a poor disguise for a gasp of relief.

 _“Thank you,”_ he says, and he doesn’t stumble over the intonations.

It’s not until she hangs up the phone that she falls to her knees, crying. She’s left dents in her apartment floor but she doesn’t care, she doesn’t care, not when now she knows—

They’re not alone. They’re not the last. There is another child of Krypton on the way, and the House of El lives on.

She reaches for her dropped phone, mind going into overdrive—she has to call James for time off, she has to call Eliza, she has to tell Lena—oh Rao.

Lena.

* * *

 

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Her watch ticks quietly on her arm, whispering in the utter silence of her office. Lena marvels at how distracting it is, how insistent, when usually she forgets that it makes any sound at all. She wonders if Kara can hear it all the time, and if this is what it’s like to be Kryptonian on Earth—loud, booming noises, and unnoticed stammers inbetween.

She stares at her dark monitor, the dim screensaver she set up a month ago. How ironic. How livid Lex would be if he saw the symbol he so obsessed over, the crest that he let bring him to his knees, glowing innocuously on his little sister’s laptop screen.

She takes a sip of her wine as she catches herself. It’s too easy, sometimes, to slip back into blaming the Supers for the stain on her family name, into believing that crest took away her family and ended her world. It frightens her, how angry she can get if she lets herself. She wonders if Lex ever sat in his office, alone, pained, drinking, chastising himself for being spiteful.

She wonders if she’s just following his heels, again.

Lena closes her eyes as she hears the balcony door open and close, letting the cold air scratch across her skin cruelly.

“Lena,” Kara breathes, and Lena can hear her step closer. “What happened? I went to your apartment and—the police were there—“

“They’re searching my apartment right now.”

Kara growls. “They can’t do that.”

“Yes they can. They have a warrant.”

There’s soft padding, and then a warm hand on her arm, gently turning her chair to face the side. She still hasn’t opened her eyes, too afraid, too afraid. The maelstrom of anguish in her gut is too much. An even mix of unconditional affection and misplaced contempt, all broiled in plain, pure hurt.

“A warrant for _what?_ You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Lena laughs, then, at the unadulterated, blind faith in Kara’s voice. So trusting. So naïve.

(So loving.)

“You remember James Stratford?”

There’s a pause.

“The guy who’s been stalking you in front of the building?”

Lena nods. “He was found dead this morning. Shot in the head last night. With a nine millimetre, just like mine.”

The hand on her arm tightens at her cold laugh.

“But it wasn’t yours. When the ballistics come back—“

“They won’t. It’s missing.”

“ _What?_ But you keep it in a—“

“Finger-print locked drawer by my bedside, I know. The lock was disabled. The gun’s missing. For all the police care, I’ve already sailed out on my yacht and tossed it into the ocean.”

She hears Kara gulp, thinks about that mouth, how many times it’s been on hers, on her skin. How close they are now.

“It’s going to be okay. You didn’t do it. I’m going to—I’m going to help them investigate, find out who’s trying to frame you—I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Lena.”

The statement is so ardent. So sincere. Lena finally opens her eyes and the sob she’s been holding back nearly jumps free of her chokehold. Kara, sweet Kara, Kara Zor-El, the Girl of Steel herself is kneeling on her office floor, looking up at Lena with those bluefire eyes, warm hands that could crush a heart soothing gently up and down her arms instead.

She runs a shaky hand through Kara’s hair, now dark and flaxen without the sun to light it up in pure gold. What Lex would have done to have this submission from the House of El. What he _did_ to try and force it from Superman.

Now, Supergirl gives it to her freely, because she trusts that Lena would never ask it of her, never want it from her. She trusts so achingly softly, so plainly, so passionately. There is nothing holding her back, no clauses, no exceptions, no agendas. She clasps a hand over Kara’s and feels simple, unmitigated belonging.

(And belonging is such a weird concept, no? On a pure denotative level, it implies ownership, and society—only when it’s convenient to do so—discourages notions of owning a person. You belong to yourself, they say, no one should own you.

But people cannot go on without belonging. It’s all Lena’s ever wanted. She wanted to belong to the Luthors, beyond the paperwork of her adoption, and negotiated the terms of this belonging with achievements and obedience. She wanted to belong to Lex, with his free laughter and love and open arms, so she mirrored him, fed his pride. She wanted to belong to this world, to National City, leveraging redemption with acts of goodwill.

She wants to belong to Kara. There is no levy, no negotiations, no cage, no footsteps to follow. Kara erases the notion of transaction from the act of belonging, rips up the contracts and fine print, and Lena wants and wants more. I’m yours, she wants to say, whisper into her skin, shout out into the sky that she disappears into. I’m yours, I’m yours, I’m yours.

The other three words don’t dare form themselves in the hush of fear.)

“Kara,” she says, bottom lip trembling against her will. “It’s already happening.”

Blonde brows furrow, and Kara scoots closer on her knees.

“What’s already happening?”

“The end. It’s over.” She closes her eyes to stop the tears from falling but ends up pushing them over the edge instead.

Kara comes even closer, almost pressing up against Lena’s knees, hissing.

“You don’t know that—“

“He was an alien.”

“I—what?”

“James Stratford was an alien,” she says, weighing each syllable like measuring stones. “It doesn’t matter how the investigation goes. If word gets out that an alien was gunned down by Lena Luthor, it’ll be over. Everything I’ve done, all the work I’ve done since taking over L-Corp—“

That’s all she manages to get out before that sob finally rears, echoing through her body in quakes. In one whirlwind of a second she’s no longer on her desk chair but scooped up into Supergirl’s arms on the couch, held impossibly tight even through the heaving of her chest.

 _“What am I going to do?”_ she keens into Kara’s shoulder, nails digging into the blue suit. “If word gets out—if anyone knows, they’re going to be all over it, L-Corp is never going to recover—“ she hiccups and lets all her fears spill out. “ _I’m_ never going to recover from this—all the running I did to get away from what Lex did, what my mom did—all for nothing, people are going to look at me like I was born a murderer and it’ll be _over—“_

“It won’t,” Kara murmurs into her hair, rocking her softly, rubbing her back. “I won’t let it. Okay? I’m here. I’m with you,” she says, pressing the convictions like kisses onto her head. “I’m yours. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Lena lifts her head to look at her hero, her girlfriend, her _Kara._ The Kryptonian nudges their noses together, and the last Luthor surges up desperately to kiss the first love of her life.

* * *

 

_“A bit depressing to be drinking alone in your room on the day of graduation, isn’t it?”_

_Lena gives Lex a cursory glance before downing the rest of her wine. Lex’s mouth twists wryly at the small act of defiance._

_“Lena.” He walks up to her and coaxes the glass out of her hand, setting it on her desk, before sitting on the arm of her chaise. “What are you doing in here?”_

_“This is my last day in this apartment before I move to Metropolis,” she scoffs. “I can’t spend a nostalgic moment in my home of four years?”_

_“In that case, you should be at the campus lab, seeing as you spent more nights there than here,” he says, with that charming smile, and Lena catches herself on a chuckle. She hates it. She wants to be mad, be bitter._

_“Your valedictory speech was amazing, by the way.”_

_“Thanks,” she snorts. “Nothing like yours, though. I didn’t crack a single joke. Hard to do, really, when you don’t have any friends in your class.”_

_“Leelee,” he sighs. “It was inspiring. It was real. You were honest with them and it was amazing. Don’t be like that.”_

_“What? I’m giving myself constructive criticism. Mom would be proud.” She laughs bitterly. “She doesn’t even have to be here to make me feel like shit, I can do it all by myself, like a big girl,” she singsongs._

_Lex doesn’t have anything to say to that, for a while._

_“I’m sorry she didn’t come, Lena.”_

_No halfhearted excuses on her behalf, like usual. This time Lex knows not to insult her with any pretense of their mother caring about her. Lena’s almost grateful._

_“She could have at least come by to glare at me on the podium before hopping off on a helicopter as soon as I was done talking. Bit stingy, really, considering she was all but waving pom poms at_ your _graduation.”_

_He looks down at his shoes, flinches away a little, and she instantly regrets saying it. She shouldn’t have. He’s sorry, so sorry, always so sorry about their mother’s behaviour, always trying to take the blame for something he has no say in. She jumps to her feet and nearly runs to the other end of the room, hugging herself._

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”_

_“Lena, it’s okay—“_

_“No, really, I’m sorry.” She turns to face him, arms still wrapped around herself. “It wasn’t fair. It’s not your fault. I’m upset and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m—I’m really happy you’re here.”_

_He smiles at her before padding over and hugging her tight. He’s almost a full head taller than her, and she buries her face in his jacket._

_“I wouldn’t have missed my sister’s graduation for the world.”_

_“I wish I was your real sister,” she lets slip before she can stop herself. She avoids looking him in the eye when he jerks back, hands firm on her shoulders._

_“Lena,” he says, and she can hear the fierceness in him. “You_ are _my real sister. Related or not, you’re a Luthor.”_

_She bites her lip, feeling herself start to cry._

_“Will I ever be good enough for this family?”_

_“Leelee,” he says, sadly. “Kiddo. The question is whether or not this family is good enough for you.”_

_She blinks up at him._

_“What…?”_

_“You,” he says, booping her softly on the nose. “Are a force of nature, you know that? You’ve been through so much, but you’ve never let anything stop you. You’re always thinking outside the box, coming up with ideas no one’s even imagined before—you look at this world with such open eyes that the rest of us seem blind.” He squeezes her shoulders again. “You are the single most brilliant person I’ve ever met. You’re going to do incredible things in this world, Lena,” he says, ardent smile spreading across his face. “And I can only hope that LuthorCorp—that_ I _will be able to help you get there, enough to make up for what we’ve put you through.”_

_She feels a tear run down her cheek and tries to wipe it away, sniffling, embarrassed, because Luthors don’t cry and she’s twenty-one, for god’s sake—_

_But Lex is sniffling too, his eyes a little bit red, and she thinks that, maybe this time, it’s going to be okay._

_He hugs her tight again, and this time she returns it, clinging to him for dear life._

_“Happy Graduation, Lena Lutessa Luthor,” he whispers fiercely into her hair. “You are going to rock this world.”_

* * *

When Lena wakes up, it’s in Kara’s soft bed, bright yellow comforter drawn up to her cheeks. Kara herself is at her side almost immediately, like she usually is at Lena’s first sign of quickened breath.

“Hey, baby,” the blonde says, running a hand through Lena’s dark hair. “How’re you feeling?”

Lena’s sure Kara hears her heart skip a beat.

“Heavy,” she croaks, nuzzling into Kara’s hand. It earns her a soft laugh.

“You fell asleep at your office again, so I brought you here.” Kara threads her fingers gently through a particularly stubborn knot. “Is that okay?”

Lena nods. “I’ll need a change of clothes, though.”

“Jess already dropped off an outfit.”

Lena raises a brow.

“When?”

“Last night, when I texted her.”

Lena groans and buries her face in the pillow.

“I really need to give her a damn raise.”

Kara chuckles. “I think I figured out who she’s dating.”

Lena peeks up at her, trying not to seem too excited. “Who?”

“Her neighbor.”

“The one who got stabbed?”

Kara smiles at her brilliantly for some reason. “Yup.”

Lena snorts, finally emerging from her nest and flexing her neck.

“Birds of a feather,” she scoffs.

Kara cants her head, blinking.

“What?”

“We both have a thing for cute aliens, looks like.”

Kara giggles as she tackles Lena to the bed, pressing ticklish kisses all up her neck as Lena halfheartedly tries to fight her off.

(Belonging. Lena belongs. She never thought it’d feel like yellow comforters under cornflower blue mornings.)


	2. Where they're too alike for their own good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a new lead on Lena's framer. Alex finds out something very interesting about Supergirl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is completely un-beta'd, im so sorry. I won't have time to write until next weekend again so I wanted to pump this out.

After plying Lena with breakfast food and fussing a little only to get waved off, she flies over to the site of the murder. Ramirez and Alex are locked in a glare-off when Kara lands beside them.

“Supergirl,” he says, straightening up a little.

“Detective,” she nods, standing next to Alex and mirroring her rigid posture. “What’s the problem here?”

“There’s no problem,” he seethes. “I was just politely asking Agent Danvers to leave. This is an NCPD crime scene.”

Kara can hear Alex grinding her teeth. “I’ve already shown you my badge, Detective.”

“And I’ve already told you that unless you can explain why the feds have an interest in a homicide, we have no reason to cooperate with you.”

Seagulls chirp in the background almost mockingly as they start glaring each other down again. The early morning air is crisp with salt and cold and just-risen sunlight, traces of winter still lingering in the air, and Kara’s jaw sets grimly as she looks around at the same dock that Lillian Luthor was arrested at. How different it looks in the light.

“Detective, Agent Danvers is an expert on alien matters. I’m sure her assistance would be invaluable.”

He scowls. “With all due respect, Supergirl—“

“Chrissakes Tony, get your head out of your fucking ass.”

Maggie walking up to them with a snarl, wind billowing in her NCPD jacket is a sight for sore eyes. Well. Much more for Alex than for Kara. She smugly notes the small increase in her sister’s heartrate.

“Mags—“

“Who told you you can talk to the feds without telling me? Go get yourself a coffee and stop being a grumpy fuckwad,” she says, slapping him none too lightly on the chest. She slips into a light accent, not enough to change her pronunciation but enough that her intonations flow more freely, sway more delicately. She hisses something in Spanish at him when he doesn’t reply, sending him off with a roll of the eyes.

(Something in Kara twinges. There’s always something so miserably beautiful about watching other people slip into their shared cultures, their languages, their invisible bubble of belonging. Even with the acerbic tone of conversation, Kara sees the layer of shared identity that they can tug at—a chain that survives under the beatings from above—and know there’s someone else at the end of the line.

It’s wonderful. It’s something Kara can never have.)

“Sorry about that,” Maggie sighs, running a hand through her hair. Kara hears Alex gulp silently and almost smirks. “He’s usually a decent guy. From Metropolis, though, with the mandatory huge anti-Luthor grudge. It’s not the open and close case to put Lena behind bars like he wants, so he’s being a pissbag.”

“I’m glad you’re here as a fairer pair of eyes, then,” Kara says, crossing her arms. Maggie grimaces.

“I’m gonna be honest, Supergirl, it’s not looking good for her. We found shoeprints at the scene that match a pair of her heels exactly, and treadmarks that fit her car. There was a bit of skin under the victim’s nails that we went to the lab, but I’m betting it’s gonna come back with a DNA match for her.”

“That’s impossible,” Kara growls, nostrils flaring. “She didn’t do it.”

Alex shifts, worried. “Are you sure you didn’t find anything else at the scene?”

Maggie shakes her head. “Literally everything’s clean except for traces of Lena. Whoever’s framing her is good at their job.”

Kara blinks. “You believe us?”

“Are you kidding?” Maggie guffaws. “Lena Luthor isn’t an idiot. If she wanted Stratford dead, he would’ve been reported missing weeks from now and his body never found.” She chuckles wryly. “No. This is too theatrical. The problem is that the physical evidence is airtight.”

“Right on the exact same dock where she got her mother arrested,” Alex snorts. “Sick sense of humor.”

Maggie nods. “Whoever this is, they want nothing more than to hurt Lena and her reputation as much as possible. I’d narrow down suspects, but she’s on so many shitlists that it’s hard to even start picking out who might want that.”

Alex crosses her arms and bites the inside of her cheek, thinking. “Do you think it might be the radical alien rights groups?”

“Might be. Thought they quieted down a little, though.”

Kara shakes her head. “No, it’s not them. They stopped protesting her because…”

She hesitates, because this technically isn’t her secret to tell. Lena’s got the clinic project on lockdown until she can come up with a titanium game plan, something to lob at the investors that they can’t possibly find fault with—people knowing about it before it’s ready means that detractors have enough time to gain momentum.

“Because…?” Alex prompts. “Supergirl, if you know anything—“

“I do, it’s just—I need you to keep it a secret. Lena asked me not to tell anyone until it was ready.” She leans in and lowers her voice, waiting until Alex and Maggie huddle a little closer around her. “She’s investing in an alien clinic. It’s run by some of those alien rights groups, so they quieted down when she started. I think someone’s trying to sabotage her.”

Maggie quirks a brow. “You serious? That could be life-saving press for her, why’s she keeping it on the down-low?”

“She’s going to bull rush her investors before they know enough to try anything,” Alex says, flexing her jaw in an impressed smile. “Smart woman.”

 _She really is,_ Kara thinks, but Maggie pulls out her phone and starts typing something.

“It’s good lead. Know where I can get the details?”

“Her assistant, J—Miss Hoang can tell you. I’ll give you her number.”

Maggie looks up at that, an amused half-smile lighting up her face.

“You have Luthor’s assistant on your phone?”

The reminder that she’s Supergirl right now, not Kara Danvers, smacks her full in the face.

“Um,” she tries. “Sometimes I can’t get into contact with Lena, and she—“

Maggie’s smile only gets wider at the mention of contacting Lena on the regular and she can see Alex giving her the staple ‘put the shovel down please’ look out of the corner of her eyes.

“For professional purposes—dammit Detective do you want her number or not?”

* * *

 

When Lena walks into her office that morning, she wishes that she could keep Jess on as an assistant forever. She’s going to have to let her go at some point, she knows—Jess won’t be satisfied with being an assistant for long. She’ll want to move to L-Corp’s R&D department, or go ahead and found her own damn software company. This sardonic, quick-witted, outstanding woman is meant for greater things.

But when she sees Jess straightening up her office, wineglass put away and desk re-arranged neatly with her favourite coffee and a box of cinnamon rolls, she thinks that there’s no wage raise she won’t give to keep Jess on forever.

“Miss Luthor,” she says, straightening up. The morning light paints her usually raven hair a soft charcoal brown. “Good morning.”

Lena gives a sigh that’s nothing short of utterly grateful. “Good morning, Jess. You didn’t have to be here so early.”

Jess only gives a small, professional smile as she steps aside for Lena to sit at her desk.

“After what happened last night, I figured I’d put in some extra precautions.”

Lena rolls her eyes, setting her purse by her feet as she sinks down into her chair. “You work too much.”

Jess scoffs, opening up her tablet. “You are the last person who can tell me that,” she mutters under her breath, flicking through a few reports.

Lena fights the urge to roll her eyes again, enjoying Jess’s rare moments of openness.

“In any case, thank you for dropping off some clothes with Kara,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee and closing her eyes in sheer relief at the liquid joy running warm down her throat. When she opens her eyes again, she blinks at the box in front of her.

“Oh my god, are these—“

“From _Grounds For Coffee_? Yes.” Lena wonders if Jess knows that she preens smugly at times. “You’ve missed that place since you visited Vancouver two years ago.”

Had an unholy craving that never went away, more like. She opens the box with quiet reverence.

“They’re fresh,” she breathes. “How did you…?”

“Friends in high places,” she says with a smirk, thoroughly enjoying herself. “Supergirl wishes you well, incidentally.”

She feels emotion well up in her that she has no name for, except that she’s so sure it’s kind of something like that look Kara gets on her face when Alex sweeps in with three boxes of pizza and her favourite movie after a bad Supergirl day. She bites into a roll and nearly moans, not caring that Jess is snickering softly.

She wipes her mouth with one of the napkins before speaking again.

“How did you get in touch with Supergirl?”

Jess gives her an odd look before glancing back down at her tablet.

“I didn’t. I mentioned it to Miss Danvers last night and she passed it on.”

And she thinks that Kara really needs to be more careful with her identity. She’s already quoted herself in articles a suspicious amount of times now.

“Speaking of, Miss Luthor. If I may,” she starts, and Lena snaps to attention because that’s code for when Jess wants to make a suggestion for Lena’s well-being but isn’t sure if it’s overstepping. Usually it’s a very good, touching suggestion—Jess should really have more faith in herself. “It would probably be best if you stayed with her until the investigation is over, if she would be willing.”

Lena frowns.

“Why is that?”

Jess purses her lips, displeased. “I did a sweep of your security systems last night, after you left. The breaches were hard enough to find, nevermind identifying the hacker. The lock on your drawer logs the last time it was opened as the night of the murder, but it was dusty and obviously deactivated for months. There’s no telling when the killer broke in to take your gun.” She takes a measured breath, grimacing up at Lena. “If someone can tamper with your security without leaving so much as a trace, then your apartment isn’t safe anymore.”

Lena inhales deeply, slowly. “If someone can do that, I’m not safe at Kara’s either.”

“Miss Danvers would be there. It’d be a great deal more secure.”

Lena’s eyes snap up at that, but Jess isn’t looking at her. She’s flicking through her tablet as if to leave the connotations of that comment behind, and Lena grips the arm of her chair.

“How did you know?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The reply is short, almost reflexive. Jess finally looks at her, impassively, shifting her weight.

“In any case, Miss Luthor, I hope you’ll discuss it with Miss Danvers. I’ll make the necessary arrangements and keep you updated on the situation.”

“Updated on the—“ Lena nearly jumps out of her chair. “ _Jess_.”

If Lena were anyone else she wouldn’t have seen the nervous flicker of Jess’s eyelids.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“How did you know my lock was dusty? The police wouldn’t have let you in last night.”

Jess swallows, not breaking eye contact.

“Jesus Christ, please don’t tell me you’re hacking into the investigation.”

Lena sees her jaw clench.

“It’s important to stay apprised—“

“Jess!” Lena stands up, stalking over to the girl, livid. “You cannot hack the _police!_ ”

“Their security is laughable, Miss Luthor, it only gets risky at the federal level,” she says quickly, white-knuckling her tablet. “In the highly improbable case that I get caught I’ve already taken precautions to ensure it doesn’t reflect on the company—“

“Goddammit, that’s not what this is about!” Lena hisses, heartbeat thundering in her ears. “This isn’t some corporate scandal where you can hack the right person and turn the situation to our favor. Someone _died_ , do you understand? James Stratford was _murdered._ ” Lena shakes her head. “I don’t want you involved in this.”

She says it with finality and turns to walk back to her desk but of course Jess doesn’t relent.

(Stubborn, proud, obstinate at inopportune moments. Birds of a feather, indeed.)

“With all due respect, I’m already involved—“

“So you took it as a sign to dive in further, right?” Lena snaps. “Wonderful, Jessica, just absolutely _brilliant_.”

Jess clenches her jaw harder, if that’s even possible.

“I can get us vital information—“

“It doesn’t _matter_!” Lena punctuates by slamming a hand on her desk. “It’s not safe. So you’re going to stop everything you’ve been doing and let the police do their job, do you understand?”

“Miss Luthor—“

“That’s an _order._ ”

She stares her assistant down, harsh, a lot harsher than she wants but she knows nothing less will get through to this girl. Jess only blinks once before looking down at her shoes.

“Yes, Miss Luthor.”

* * *

 

_Jess huffs as she sets the heavy mechanism under the table. Lena jogs over, heels clopping on the floor of the huge ballroom, sighing in exasperation._

_“Jess, I told you, you didn’t have to do that…”_

_“I’d rather it get done before the caterers come, Miss Luthor, you don’t know who you can trust.”_

_Lena gives her a critical look at that. Jess shifts._

_“Do you think it’ll work?”_

_“Of course it’ll work. We didn’t toil all night for nothing.”_

_Lena laughs._

_“Do you ever miss it?”_

_“Miss what?”_

_“Before. When Lex was CEO and I was just the R &D leader.”_

_Jess mulls it over._

_“Those were simpler times, weren’t they?” Lena asks. “Your work was less scheduling meetings and babysitting investors and more writing code, indexing the labs…”_

_“Doing the tedious parts of projects you didn’t want to finish,” Jess snorts._

_Lena coughs. “I was delegating.”_

_“Of course, Miss Luthor.”_

_Jess looks over to see Lena looking up at the sky, moon shining into the glass ceilings of the venue. There’s a melancholy twist to her mouth._

_“I miss it sometimes.” Jess smirks. “You paid me less, though, so not too much.”_

_Lena rolls her eyes._

* * *

 

“So, Danvers,” Maggie starts, slowing the car down to a stop at a red light. “Mind if I ask you something?”

“Shoot,” Alex mumbles, typing away rapidly at her phone. Maggie would be offended, but Alex has shown her enough times that she’s more than capable of keeping up a conversation while solving some biochemical problem, or something else nerdy like that. She wonders just how high this woman’s IQ is, not for the first time.

“Is Supergirl dating Lena Luthor?”

Alex honest to god _chokes,_ and Maggie holds back a spurt of laughter.

“ _Excuse me?”_

“Come on, you’re telling me you haven’t pick up on anything?” She glances at her with a grin before accelerating again. “She ‘contacts’ Luthor frequently. And when I first went to see her in the office yesterday, she made a _pretty_ bold claim.”

Maggie wonders if Alex’s phone will crack under how hard it’s being clutched.

“She was there? What did _what?”_

Maggie laughs again. “Calm down, it wasn’t anything huge. She just kissed her on the cheek before flying off. Probably to intimidate Ramirez.”

Alex takes a moment to stare at her and turn a shade of faint blue before sighing like her lungs are collapsing and sink into her seat.

“No, I’m not aware of her dating situation right now,” she grumbles, glaring pointedly out the window.

“Alright, that’s all you needed to say, Danvers, no need for a meltdown,” Maggie chuckles. “Just thought I’d ask, what with Little Danvers and all.”

She knows she’s said the wrong thing the second Alex slowly turns to leer at her.

“ _What_ about Kara?”

“She had a bit of a thing for Luthor, yeah?” Maggie frowns at her. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”

“Kara’s… straight,” Alex says, as if testing the words out for herself. “As far as I know.”

Maggie raises a brow. “As far as you know.”

She doesn’t get a reply, so she just shrugs as she turns into the parking lot across the street from the clinic. “Whatever you say.”

She looks over after parking the car, watching Alex fall into that trance she does when she’s running a million calculations in her head. God. Maggie can guess how well that’s going, picking out innocuous moments with Kara and then stringing them together, going over the improbability of _both_ sisters being gay, or just some sort of not-straight in Kara’s case.

“Hey, just don’t worry about it, alright?” Maggie reaches over and grabs one of her hands. “I just wanted to check in to see if everything was okay. I’d rather not see Little Danvers get her heart broken. If you say it’s nothing, then it’s probably nothing.”

Maggie squeezes her hand and makes to get out of her car before Alex grabs on.

“Hey,” she says, furrowing her brows. “Thanks.”

Maggie grins, a little confused.

“For what?”

“For caring. About. Kara,” Alex says, and Maggie laughs.

“Hard not to care about her, even if she wasn’t my girlfriend’s little sister.” She leans in to kiss the elder Danvers, relishing in that little surprised gasp she gets every single time without fail. “Now lets go do our jobs.”

She gives Alex’s hand another pat before getting out of the car. Alex takes another second to follow—Maggie notes this smugly—before they’re walking across the street into the small clinic.

It reminds Maggie of the small walk-in clinics she used to go to in college. The ones in her on the other side of town, who served everyone who didn’t have enough money to get a family doctor. A renovated old building, bit musty, brightly lit in dull yellows and off-whites, faint music coming from a shitty speaker.

The receptionist looks up at them warily. She’s ostensibly human, but Maggie knows looks can be deceiving.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“No,” Alex says. “I’m with the FBI and my associate is with the NCPD. We were hoping to ask a few questions.”

Maggie sees the receptionist tense up.

“No one’s in trouble here, and we’re not here to shut anything down. We just want to ask a few questions,” she says, trying for a disarming smile. “There was a murder on the other side of town, and it might have something to do with the L-Corp project for this place. Have you seen anything out of the ordinary recently?”

“I… haven’t,” the receptionist says, still wary but not about to jump out her skin like she was moments ago. “But someone else takes the night shifts, and she might’ve—Peebs!” She calls to the back of the office.

“ _What?”_ is the gravelly reply, from farther behind the reception desk, out of Maggie’s line of sight. “Can you not interrupt me every five minutes, Helen, do you want me to install the damn server or _not?”_

“There are _cops_ here, you big lizard, they want to ask you some questions.”

Silence, and then shuffling. Maggie sees Alex flinch in surprise when a female Telari steps into view, in all her 6-foot tall blueness. Maggie nearly chuckles. The shirt the alien is wearing is entirely too loose and baggy, but only just big enough length-wise.

There’s a few clicks of blinking, then ‘Peebs’ steps up to the desk.

“What—what can I do for you?”

“Do you know anyone by the name of James Stratford?”

The Telari gulps.

“Yeah, sure. He comes in here a few times for check-ups. Why?”

Maggie and Alex glance at each other.

“He was murdered the night before last,” Alex says. “We found Lena Luthor’s footprints at the scene.”

“No,” the Telari breathes. “No, it wasn’t her, she wouldn’t do that, not now when she’s—“ she swallows and stops herself.

“We’re aware of the L-Corp investment in this place,” Maggie steps in. “That’s why we’re here, actually. Can you think of anyone who might want to stop the project, or would benefit from it?”

The Telari scoffs. “About the entirety of the xenophobe population in the city would love to stop us, and there’s a lot of them. Benefit, though…” she trails off. “One second.”

In a few long strides she’s out of sight again, before coming back with a business card.

“A few weeks ago,” she begins, hurriedly. “There was some weird dude wearing a suit. I knew something was off: he said his name was Joseph and was really polite but it was all fake.”

“All fake?” Alex shifts her weight. “How did you know?”

“Telari are empathic,” Maggie says. “They can sense other people’s emotions. It works like a sense of smell, as far as I’ve heard.”

The Telari nods. “There was this… _disdain_ rolling off him like slime, it was gross.” She scrunches her nose, or, well. The area in the middle of her face where two slits are. “Anyway, he was asking all these weird questions about funding, and out staff, our equipment, and whatnot. Said his employers could do better than anything we were being offered. I don’t know how he knew about the L-Corp investment, but he gave me this card before I told him to fuck off.”

Alex takes the card, staring it down intently. Maggie glances over.

“There are too many people who’d love to shut us down,” the Telari continues. “But I think this guy was trying to snatch the deal from L-Corp, or something. Either way, he’d want to get Miss Luthor out of the way.”

“Thank you,” Maggie says, “This—“

Her phone beeps, and her fumbles with it a little as she opens it.

“Sorry, one sec—“ her jaw sets. “Shit.”

Alex finally glances up from the card.

“What is it?”

“Luthor’s assistant just got shot at,” she says, pocketing her phone. “Thank you for the information—“

“Wait,” the Telari says, almost reaching out. “You don’t mean Luthor’s assistant like—Like Jess Hoang?”

Maggie nods.

“I’m sorry, but we have to get going—“

“Wait, no—“ the Telari rounds the desk, limbs gangly in her desperation. “Where—where is she?”

“Miss, we have to—“

“I’m her girlfriend,” she says, pleading. “Please—where is she? Is she okay?”

Jess Hoang keeps interesting company—surprising, but still, Maggie softens at that.

“She’s in front of National City Park. Supergirl is on site.”

The Telari doesn’t waste a moment to dash out of the door, and Maggie jogs to follow before she notices Alex lagging behind.

“Danvers,” she hisses. “Come on, there’s no time—“

“I know this number,” Alex declares, before she looks up and there’s white-hot anger in the clenching of her jaw. She storms forward suddenly, nearly breaking the doors on the way out—

“Whoah, whoah,” Maggie says, catching up. “Calm down, Danvers—who the hell is it?”

They reach the car before Alex turns around to answer, hand gripping the car door tight.

“Maxwell Lord.”

* * *

 

Lena practically jumps out of the car before it stops, walking as fast as she can without breaking her heels; her driver yelps behind her but she doesn’t care. There’s a crowd gathered, bystanders, some reporters clicking their cameras behind the police tape.

Supergirl notices her first.

“Hey,” she says softly, walking over.

“Kara,” Lena gasps. “How is she? What happened?”

“Hey, slow down,” Kara murmurs, holding her shoulders, words lapping over her like warm waves. “She’s going to be ok. A few scratches, but nothing serious.”

Lena lets herself be held into Kara’s side as the hero walks her towards the ambulance through the crowd.

“What happened? I sent her home early today, I thought—”

“She was in the parking garage when she saw some people trying to tamper with your car,” Kara says, cutting off her panicked rambling before it gained momentum. “They ran off on motorbikes when she confronted them, and she jumped to chase them.”

“What—instead of calling the police?”

“She says she was sure they’d just lose the trail. She chased them for about ten minutes before one of them pulled out a semi-automatic and open-fired.”

“God,” Lena breathes, shuddering. “How did she…?”

“Ducked over just in time. A few bullets grazed the top of her shoulder, and she has a few cuts from the windshield breaking, but other than that she’s going to be fine,” Kara says as they finally break through the crowd and reach the police tape. “Just a little bit shaken up.”

Understatement of the year. Jess is sitting on the back of an open ambulance, jacket taken off, staring blankly at her hands; there’s a huge bandage over her left shoulder and smaller gauze patches littering her skin.

“Can I…?”

Kara nods, lifting up the police tape for her.

Jess looks up at Lena’s approach, jumping off the ambulance and clenching her fists tightly to her side.

“Miss Luthor, I’m sorry—“

Lena cuts her off, hugging her tightly instead. It’s their first hug. Despite being there for Lena all those years, weathering through whatever shitstorm the world threw at them, going above and beyond to nudge Lena towards happiness she’s too stupid to see, do damage control for her self-destructive habits—despite all that, Jess has always kept her distance. Lena’s tried to respect it. Physical affection is awkward for her too, after all, too much, too close, but right now she can’t think of anything but the fact that a sharp, angry order could’ve been the very last thing she’d ever said to Jess.

Her assistant is still stiff in her arms when she pulls away, eyes wide, frazzled and bewildered, and Lena just squeezes her shoulders with a strained, shaky laugh.

“I’m sorry too,” she coughs. “I shouldn’t have been like that, I’m so sorry—“

“No, I should’ve listened to you,” Jess says, bottom lip trembling.

Lena tries for a shaky smile, laughing wryly again.

“We both—we were both being idiots.” She patted Jess’s shoulder before pulling away. “Let’s do better next time, okay?”

Jess nods, looking down at her wringing hands.

“I—I managed to get a ping on one of their devices before they started shooting,” she says. “I’ve handed the data over to the police. I won’t touch it again, I swear.”

“Good,” Lena sighs. “You’re on paid leave until the investigation is over, okay?”

Jess’s head shoots up at that, as Lena expected.

“I can’t, not now when—“

“The project is going to have to be postponed until this blows over, anyway,” Lena says. “There’s nothing to do but paperwork for the Shanghai construction and I can do that by myself.”

For a moment, Jess looks like she’s about to argue but there’s a commotion from the far side of the police tape. Lena turns to see a tall, _really_ tall blue alien trying to shove past police officers.

“Let me through, please—she knows me—“

“Stand _back_ —“

“Peebee,” Jess whispers under her breath, before heading towards the alien, speeding up. “Peebee!”

“Let her through,” Kara says, voice projecting firmly, and the officers glance at her before acquiescing. Peebee breaks through to meet Jess and crush the girl to her chest, muttering rapidly in Telari, and for the first time since Lena threatened Jack out of the city, she sees Jess cry.

“I forget sometimes,” Kara murmurs from beside her, hands held in her front, staring at the couple. They’re quite a pair—tall blue alien with webbed ears and a giant hoodie holding a tiny, slight-framed human.

“Forget about what?”

“How not-normal my life is,” she chuckles. “For them, guns and near-death experiences are a once in a lifetime shock. For me, it’s like… every day. They don’t charge into trouble, they can’t. The most they’re prepared to worry about is maybe a car accident, angry words at work, that kind of thing. They go about their lives and… they only ever have to be concerned with themselves and each other. Nothing else.” Kara looks down and scuffs her boots. “Normal.”

Lena looks at Supergirl and sees Kara Danvers, the reporter, the human that Kara so desperately clings to as her only anchor of normality that is only ever sometimes enough. Lena knows how much Kara envies the mundane, how much she just wants her life to flow like most do. Worrying about dinner. Picking movies. Laughing over small mistakes. Lena sees it in the way Kara might be dazzled by expensive parties and extravagant restaurants but it’s only when it’s just the two of them, sprawled across the couch in domestic comfort, that a genuine, content smile appears on Kara’s face.

And even though, even though Kara tilts her head to look at her, smiles gently and affectionately, anxiety twists in Lena’s gut.

Normal is not anything Lena has ever been.

* * *

 

“Where do you want me to put my stuff?”

Kara squints around her bedroom, scratching her head a little.

“Uuuhm. Anywhere you want? Anywhere you want.” She nods firmly and goes to clear the fruit bowl off of the kitchen island. “I don’t really have a desk, but you can set your work up here. Is that okay?”

Lena laughs softly from the bedroom. “You don’t have to be so nervous, darling. It’s not like I’ve never been here before.”

Kara can feel her heart stammering at the term of endearment—Lena doesn’t use it very often, and when she does it’s like someone drops a butterfly grenade in her stomach.

“I know, I just—you’ve never been over with the intention of staying this long.” Kara sighs as she steps into her bedroom again. “I want to make you to feel at home.”

Lena pauses from her suitcase arranging and looks up at her with a soft smile, and Kara thinks she looks so mysterious, so beautiful like this. In the yellow lamplight Lena’s eyes aren’t so much green as an earthy, deep colour, contrasting against her pale skin with her black hair and it makes her look so enigmatic.

“You always do,” Lena murmurs, going back to her suitcase.

Kara should just let her unpack, but she can’t help herself. From the steady, lightly skipping beats of Lena’s heart, the smell of her hair and skin, the way she can see each individual strand brush over smooth, pale skin— she’s just so _alive,_ blood thrumming through her veins and lungs caressing each breath, she’s just so _human_ , so wonderful—

Lena is her favourite kind of sensory overload.

Kara leans down to grasp one of Lena’s hands before softly coaxing her up, letting her other hand pull her closer by the small of the back. Lena laughs as they end up pressed together in a loose sort of waltz, swaying ever so slightly as Kara kisses up and down the side of her face.

Her phone buzzes and she sighs.

Lena looks up at her. “Don’t you have to get that?”

“No. It’s probably Alex.”

“… again, shouldn’t you get that?”

Kara sighs and buries her nose in Lena’s hair.

“Nah. She’s already told us everything she can about Lord Douchebag—she’s questioning him tomorrow—and J’onn’s covering for me tonight. She’s just… been prodding me.”

“About?”

“You.”

“Oh.”

Kara sighs again. “Maggie said something about when I kissed you on the cheek yesterday.”

“I see.” Lena leans into her kisses a tiny bit. “Do you want to take space for a bit until it blows over?”

Kara scoffs. “ _No._ That’d be pretty hard while you’re literally staying at my place.” She rubs little circles under Lena’s shirt. “And I guess I don’t want it to blow over anyway. It’s about time I told her.”

“Kara, you don’t have to—“

“But I _want_ to,” she cuts in, pulling back a little to look at Lena. “Alex knows everything about me. I don’t keep anything from her—and you, you’re wonderful. I want to tell her.”

Lena bites her lip. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to wait because I didn’t want her to feel like—like I was stealing this from her, again. The whole liking girls thing.”

Because she wants Alex to be happy. She wants Alex to feel like her own person, with her own story, that doesn’t revolve around Kara, but Rao, this time coincidence really, really fucked her over. She’s been waiting for a right time to tell Alex and maybe avoid the part in the conversation where she has to say that they started dating around the same time Alex and Maggie did.

Lena nods, leaning back in to nip at Kara’s neck, eliciting a giggle.

She smiles. "What do you want for dinner?"

“Maybe something simple? I can't stay up much longer,” Kara sighs, hating herself for saying no. “I have to wake up early to pick Lois up from the airport.”

“Lois?” Lena pulls back a little, just enough to look Kara in the eyes. “I didn’t know she was coming over.”

“Crap, did I forget to tell you?” Kara groans. “I’m sorry, with the mess with the murder and everything…”

“It’s okay,” Lena murmurs, lips ghosting against Kara’s. “I understand.”

“Mm.” Kara hums as she leans into a kiss; a soft one, no teeth, just grazing caresses.

Lena chuckles once as she pulls away. “You were saying?”

“I was saying?” Kara whispers, leaning in for another kiss because Rao, Lena’s lips are so soft and nice and—

Lena laughs again, softly, breathily, and denies her.

“About Lois.”

“Oh. Yeah. That’s kind of important.” Kara tries not to pout. “I’m meeting Lucy at the airport to pick Lois up. She’s going to be staying with Lucy for a while.”

Lena frowns.

“Why? Did something happen with Clark?”

“Yeah,” Kara breathes, feeling her lips tug into a shaky smile. “She—she’s pregnant. With Clark’s baby.”

Lena nearly stops swaying at that, pulling away, mouth falling open.

“Oh my god. _How?_ Is she okay?”

Kara gnaws at her lip a little. “We don’t know yet. Eliza’s flying up to watch her and try to figure out what to do.”

She realizes that she’s probably started to cry again when Lena cups her face, thumbs running over her cheekbones.

“He asked me to be the baby’s _Rao’I’rral_ ,” she whispers, a little croaky now as she rests both palms on Lena’s sides. “It’s sort of like—like a godmother and midwife, the one who does the rituals for Rao and watches over the mother and child. My mom was Kal’s.”

“Kara,” Lena breathes, pressing her lips into a smile. “That’s wonderful.”

She nods, a little bit choppily. “It is. There hasn’t been a new Kryptonian born in—in almost thirty seven years. I guess I’m just—“ she laughs breathlessly. “I’m just so nervous. It’s a big responsibility, and I’ve never—I mean, I was twelve when I—“

Lena touches their foreheads together when Kara stops for a trembling breath.

“You’re going to do wonderfully, Kara.” She closes her eyes. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Kara’s chest heaves a little at that. Even with everything going on in Lena’s life, the murder, the sabotage, the crushing fear of everything ending for her—she still takes the time to be Kara’s anchor. Her lifeline. Her centre.

Lena kisses away some of her tears, laughing softly against her cheeks.

“Me, last night, you, tonight, there’s been so much crying in our lives lately.”

Kara laughs at that and presses her lips to Lena’s, wrapping her arms around her, as tight as she can without bruising.

_Rao, I love this woman._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! this is my first story with intense conflict-driven plot instead of character-driven plot, so I'm a bit shaky on my pacing/exposition; lemme know what you think.


	3. where it's a bad night for sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lois Lane is in town. Maxwell Lord is still an asshole. Lucy's still lovely, there's a new lead, and Lena's just getting more and more anxious.

Kara hasn’t been to their airport since the day she arrived in National City, fresh out of highschool and starving to spend more time with Alex after two years of separation. The place has changed a lot—it’s bigger, for one, the glass ceiling stretching higher up and overlooking an open expanse of floor only interrupted by a few lines of kiosks. It’s all steel and glass, that look of modernity humans so love, but with just the slightest touch of postmodernity in the superfluously grandiose curves and purposeless extensions of certain parts of the décor.

It reminds Kara a little bit of the train stations back home. People milling about in the soft golden light, shuffling their tickets, hugging loved ones, while the pentachron bathed in Rao’s rays and ticked above them all. She wonders, if she lives long enough, she’ll be able to watch humanity reach Krypton’s heights.

“Kara!”

She turns to see Lucy, gorgeous and put-together in her double-breasted coat and perfect hair and smelling of roses and all the nice things and she jumps up from her bench to hug her.

“Easy, easy,” Lucy laughs as Kara lifts her clean off her feet and spins her around. “You’re gonna pop me like a balloon.”

Kara lets her down without letting go, tucking her chin over Lucy’s shoulder.

“Don’t care. I missed you.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you started being so blasé about casualties,” Lucy snorts, patting her back. “I’m not even on duty.”

“Oh, shush,” Kara says, wrinkling her nose as she pushes Lucy lightly before changing her mind and pulling her back in again. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Lucy says. “I know the DEO building is a lot more convenient but running the bunker is so boring without you.”

Kara laughs, pulling back and shouldering her bags again. “Only you would call running a top secret headquarters boring.”

“What can I say?” Lucy shrugs. “Takes a lot to challenge me.”

Kara giggles as she threads her arm through Lucy’s and starts walking towards Lois’s gate.

“Well, next time I’ll drop by to toss things up a little.”

“I should’ve known you’d take that as an invitation to make my life harder,” Lucy says, smirking brilliantly. Kara sticks her tongue out at her.

“Save your energy, though, I’m hearing that case with Luthor is a pretty tough one.”

Kara blinks. “You know?”

Lucy just gives her this kind of exasperated look of love, brows furrowing. “I’m director of the DEO, Kara, I get reports on everything going on in the city branch.”

Technically, she does outrank J’onn. It’s a little… odd to think about, because J’onn is the looming firm hand of the DEO and always has been, but the thought of Lucy, wanting to make a difference, in charge of so much—it’s kind of cool. Really cool. Like proud happy flips in her stomach cool.

“She’s being framed, we just don’t know how,” Kara grimaces.

Lucy pats her hand gently. “Let me know if you need any help.”

Kara looks up in surprise, stopping in her tracks. Lucy quirks a brow at her.

“Surprised that a Lane would be rooting for a Luthor?” she laughs. “After all that woman’s done I think she deserves a break. God knows I can relate to trying to be your own person when your sibling’s a household name. ‘Sides,” she says, glancing up at Kara. “If I ended up alright after being raised by a crazy xenophobe like my dad, there’s no saying she can’t turn out decent too.”

Kara squeezes her arm with a grateful smile at that—because, Rao, it’s hard enough tiptoeing around your friends who think you shouldn’t be talking to Lena Luthor, much less dating her. But Lucy’s looking at her with her trademark lopsided grin, green-grey eyes enigmatic as ever.

“Now come on,” Lucy laughs. “Let’s not keep the pregnant lady waiting.”

“Who’d thought, huh?” Kara says, skipping along. “Lois, pregnant?”

Lucy scoffs at that. “It was all she could talk about when she was little, finding her perfect prince and getting married and having three kids.”

“No way.” Kara tugs at her arm a little, jaw dropping. “You’re _kidding.”_

Lucy smirks, delightedly smug. “Nope. She _never_ shut up about making a family until she was about, what, seventeen?”

“I don’t believe you,” is the scandalized reply, but Lucy only laughs harder.

“Believe what you want, Kara, I’m just glad she snapped out of it eventually. It was _annoying._ ”

“You. Are. Joking.” Kara just laugh-gasps and shakes Lucy’s arm when all she gets is a smug shake of the head. “But she’s so—so gruff! And practical!”

“That all kicked in later,” Lucy says, plopping down onto a seat by gate B12.

Kara takes a seat next to her, folding a leg under her to face Lucy instead of sitting normally. “What happened?”

Lucy shrugs. “She moved out, went to college. Hardly called. We haven’t actually seen much of each other since?”

And Kara realizes that that last bit isn’t really so much a rhetorical question, or anything that Kara can answer. Lucy bites her lip and looks anxiously at the huge windows looking out into the runway, bright blue of the morning light shining off her light eyes.

“Are you ready to see her?”

Lucy lets out a shaky laugh with half a shrug.

“Who knows? All I got was a few attempts at talking a few months back, then her asking if she can stay at my place for her _pregnancy_ …”

She looks over at Kara’s worried frown and rolls her eyes a little, smiling.

“No, no, I didn’t say yes when I wanted to say no, don’t worry.” She laughs and crosses her arms. “She’s been trying so hard to reach out, I definitely wanted to give it a chance, you know? It’s just,” she tries, and then huffs when she doesn’t seem to come up with anything. “Awkward.”

Kara gives her a wry grin, placing a hand on Lucy’s thigh.

“I know the feeling.”

Lucy smirks at her.

“You would, hey?”

Kara nods, shifting her legs so that she’s sitting properly and facing out to the windows too.

“Well, I’m here with you, and I can keep up an entire conversation by myself, so don’t worry about it.”

Lucy laughs at that. “Thanks for having my back.”

Kara grins back at her, because Rao, she’s missed this so much—Lucy and her prettiness and smartness and _realness._

“Always.” She pats her thigh. “And hey, it’s probably going to go great, trust me. I know sisters.”

Lucy barks a laugh, leaning back in her seat. “Not everyone has the _joy_ of having Alex Danvers as a sister, you know.”

Kara loves how she says it with an even split of sarcasm and frankness.

* * *

 

“Agent Danvers, looking lovely as always,” Maxwell Lord says, sitting down as they step into his office. “And who might this be?”

Anxiety twists in Alex’s gut. Nothing like being faced with repressed memories at inopportune times—the date, the flirting she endured, his smug hands on the small of her back rolls back with a fury and she suddenly wants Maggie far, far away from this room. _What’s she gonna think? I didn’t like him for real, what if she thinks…._

“Maggie Sawyer, NCPD,” the detective says, stepping just the smallest bit closer to Alex with squared shoulders and a scowl that _just_ passes for professional.

Something in Alex flips at the borderline territorial gesture. Lord just glances back and forth between them.

“Well, ladies,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “What can I do for you?”

He’s smug and obnoxious as ever, leaning an elbow on his armrest and looking the women up and down. It’s not like an obviously sleazy kind of smug—it’s the kind that’s kind of plain, clean, but smug in its supposed impartiality and “decentness”.

Maggie and Alex look at each other and their eye-contact conversation amounts to something like _wow you weren’t kidding when you said he’s a smug asshat_ and _uh huh_.

“Mr. Lord, we were hoping to ask you a few questions about your recent interest in the Terrestrial Care clinic down on 16th and Wallace,” Maggie opens.

Lord scrunches his bottom lip and shrugs.

“Never heard of it, sorry.”

Alex frowns. “Really? Because one of the workers gave us this card,” she says, flashing the little piece of stiff paper. “With your number on it, saying that someone had dropped it off at the clinic a few weeks ago.”

She tosses it onto his desk and he leans forward to pick it up, leaning back as he squints at it.

“This is indeed my number,” he says, smiling up at them innocuously as he drops it onto his desk again and laces his fingers together. “But I hardly see how this proves I know anything about this supposed clinic. All it is is a piece of paper.”

Maggie shifts her weight and scoffs, shooting Alex an _is this guy fucking serious_ look. Alex, however, is more than used to this.

“I see you still like speaking in hypotheticals, Mr. Lord.” She crosses her arms. “So, hypothetically, if there were an alien clinic about to be invested in by L-Corp, what would be Lord Technologies’ interest in it?”

He gives her this smirk that makes the anxiety tapdance in her sternum again.

“Well, hypothetically, if this clinic were the exclusive source of healthcare for aliens, and could be invested in to have a larger scope—to become more and more accessible to aliens of all walks of life, then, it would grant an investor virtually unlimited access to nearly all the aliens of National city.”

Oh. Alex does _not_ like where this is going.

“Then, hypothetically,” he continues, leaning forward on his desk, hands gesturing as if lecturing on a brilliant new principle, “one could keep registers of all the aliens, whether or not they’re registered with Alien Amnesty. Keep tabs, gather medical information, perform operations on potential problems, develop countermeasures to potential threats,” he says, with a smirk. “Hypothetically.”

Alex feels disgust rear up in her throat like bile. Well, that’s Maxwell Lord for you—always thinking about profit or hurting aliens.

“So, hypothetically,” Maggie says, and Alex looks over in surprise because it’s such a quiet, controlled, severe tone that she’s never heard her girlfriend use before. Maggie’s shoulders are set, hands held behind her back and Alex can see her knuckles turning white. “You’d play god with innocent people just to satisfy your paranoia.”

Lord bristles at that. “If wanting to keep humanity safe is paranoia, then so be it, Detective. I’ll play anything to protect us,” he says, standing up, face grim as if he’s steadfastly defending a noble purpose and Alex just wants to punch it off his face. “These are invaders who have powers we don’t understand and aren’t prepared for.“

“And there can’t possibly be any innocent refugees in the mix, right?” Maggie smiles, mouth lifting into a deadly curve.

Alex swears Lord’s brow twitches.

“The risk is worth it.”

Maggie’s smile only gets sharper, angrier. “You think you’re so untouchable, don’t you?”

“Quite the contrary,” he says, sitting down. “With the feds and the cops getting together to interrogate me like this, I’m shaking in my boots.”

He looks at her when he says ‘getting together’—she doesn’t want it to but the comment _digs_ . Because he’s another one of her failed attempts, he’s another attractive man that she’s tried to convince herself to _be_ attracted to and another case where she felt like she was broken, somehow. And now he’s here, making a suggestive comment at the one thing that’s felt _right_ in her life and this old, old itch like it’s wrong and she’s still broken digs at her.

“You’re a sick piece of work,” Alex scoffs.

He shrugs. “And I suppose you’re going to illegally detain me for it, yet _again_. Or slam my head down onto my own desk without warning.”

“Yes, you of all people should be _so_ worried about police brutality,” Maggie snorts, waving at his whole ensemble. “Blaming the authorities is just so convenient when you yourself have nothing to worry about because you’re rich and white.”

He, for once, has nothing to say, grinding his jaw as she stares him down.

Maggie brandishes a smirk. “Thank you for your time, Mr. Lord. Have a nice day.”

Alex sees Maggie’s hands coil into a fist as her girlfriend turns on her heel and marches out of the office, the calm set of her pace cracking as soon as she’s turned away.

“Agent Danvers.”

She turns to him, hallway out the door, glaring.

He just smiles at her. “We should have dinner again sometime.”

Blood pounds in her ears. She doesn’t give him an answer.

Maggie is standing by the car, typing something furiously on her phone when Alex exits the building. Whatever it is, it’s not going well—she just catches her girlfriend by the elbow before she can smash her phone into the pavement.

“Whoah, hey,” Alex says, coaxing her arms down. “You need that, babe.”

Maggie almost softens at that, but she gives a laugh that’s more an angry exhale than anything and pockets her hands, clenching her jaw and looking to the side. She’s _shaking_ , almost, vibrating with barely contained furor and Alex sighs. She’s never quite seen Maggie like this—the detective is almost always full of easygoing sarcasm or controlled professionalism.

“Thanks,” Maggie murmurs, almost a grumble. “I think I’m gonna head off for a bit. Catch you later, Danvers—“

“No. Nope.” Alex opens the passenger seat door and nods for Maggie to get in. “I’m taking you to the gym. And we’re going to punch things until we feel better.”

* * *

 

Alex is icing Maggie’s knuckles when she finally gets a genuine smile.

“You know,” she says, unwrapping the compression tape from her girlfriend’s hands, “it might be a better idea to stop punching the sandbag when you feel your fists start to hurt.”

Maggie grins. “Who said I ever had any good ideas?”

Alex smirks right back, gingerly holding her bruised hand.

“Good thing you’ve got me to keep you intact.”

Maggie wrinkles her nose playfully at that. “My hero.”

There’s a comfortable silence after that. Maggie barely flinches when Alex dabs on a bit of disinfectant, moving as delicately as she would while working on a sample in the lab. She’s never felt like this with a partner before—this easy sort of quiet intimacy, the firm weight of warm comfort—this is something she’s only shared with Kara or her parents. She’d filed it away as just being a family thing.

Now she knows it’s just love.

“So how are you doing?” She finally asks, clasping a coldpack over her knuckles. Maggie flexes her jaw, eyes downcast to avoid Alex’s insistent look.

“Fine.”

Alex frowns.

“I’ve never seen you that angry before.”

Maggie snorts. “I don’t really like being that angry.”

She finally looks up at Alex, sardonic smile twisting her lips, and Alex just… wonders. About the way Maggie brushes off most things with a laugh, approaches seriousness with a solemnness that hardly shows any of what she’s feeling, how she’s more likely to jump in with gleeful sarcasm more than anything—

The way she ran from Alex’s sudden devotion, as if she was afraid of commitment to any sort of serious emotion.

“How about you?”

Alex raises a brow. “What about me?”

“You weren’t doing so hot in there either, Danvers. Don’t think I didn’t notice.” Maggie gives her a lopsided smile. “The only times I see you that jumpy is when Supergirl’s out doing something stupid.”

Alex laughs at that, looking down at their hands. “Long story.”

Maggie hums. “You’ve got my undivided attention at the moment.” She wiggles her fingers a little and it brings a small smile to Alex’s face again.

“It’s nothing worth talking about, he’s just…” Alex sighs. “Another one of my… failed attempts at heterosexuality.”

“You’re kidding,” Maggie laughs, and something in Alex’s gut twists again. “You know you’re a lesbian when your taste in men is _that_ bad…”

Alex laughs, again, but it’s a little high-pitched and panicky and Maggie places her other hand on top of hers.

“Hey. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She runs her thumb over the back of Alex’s hand. “Sorry if I pushed.”

“No, no, it’s just.” She gulps. “I was. Worried about what you might think.”

“Babe,” Maggie sighs, cupping Alex’s chin and coaxing her to look back up. “You think you’re the only lesbian to have bad dates with men?” She laughs. “It’s part of the process.”

Alex bites her lip. “You’re not…?”

“Nope.” Maggie pops the ‘p’. “I wouldn’t think less of you over _that_ , Danvers. I love you.”

Alex blinks, coughing, clearing her throat as she looks away.

“I love you too… Dweeb.”

“ _Wow._ ” Maggie laughs and headbutts her lightly. “I’m trying to comfort you, asshole.”

Alex only grins as she lifts up the icepack and studies the forming bruises.

“The swelling’s gone down a bit. Wanna wrap it up and head down to the lab?”

Maggie hums. “Right. The DNA tests should be in.” She runs her other hand through her hair. “Hopefully it’s not our girl.”

* * *

 

“All hail the pregnant lady!”

James shouts and the table devolves into a cacophony of hooting and banging on the wood, gathering the attention of multiple aliens as Lois, Lucy, and Kara approach the table.

“Settle _down,_ children,” Lois laughs as the three of them take a seat. “There’s no need to be so starstruck, I’m very approachable.”

Kara sees Lucy roll her eyes as the rest of the table laughs, Winn in particular looking overeager—Kara doesn’t blame him. Lois is beautiful, authoritative, and smells just as nice as Lucy (she wonders if it’s a thing for Lane women.)

“Hitting the bar the second you get off the plane, Lois?” James teases. “I gotta say, you haven’t changed.”

He raises his glass to her and she laughs.

“Oh, shut up, Jimmy. Now one of you get me a sprite while I introduce myself to the ones I don’t know.”

“I got it!” Kara hops off her stool.

Lois winks at her. “Thanks, kiddo.”

She skips off to the bar with a giddy feeling in her stomach, hearing Winn nearly knock his beer over while leaning forward to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Winn Schott, it’s such an honor to meet you…”

She’s drumming her knuckles on the bar lightly, waiting for M’gann to finish up with another customer when she notices that she’s not the only one who’s peeled away from the welcome fest at their table.

“Hey,” Alex says, leaning an elbow on the bartop and giving her this serious look like she’s trying to soften a hard conversation and Kara gulps because oh Rao, this is happening.

“Hey,” Kara says, pushing up her glasses and glancing quickly at M’gann. “So how was DoucheLord?”

Alex snorts. “Not very helpful. He was definitely trying to snatch the deal from L-Corp, but we don’t have any proof that he was involved with the murder.” Alex sighs and shifts. “Also, the DNA test on the skin came back.”

“Oh no. You don’t sound happy.”

Alex rolls her shoulder. “Bad news is, it came back positive. Good news is that the lab also determined that the skin was very dead—it had to have come off Luthor at least a week before the murder.”

Kara leans on her elbows and squints. “So that means… she has an alibi?”

“Unfortunately,” Alex says, “all it proves is that he didn’t scratch Luthor the night of the murder, but a week before and somehow hasn’t washed his hands since. It lends some credibility to her being framed, but we’re going to have to try harder.”

Kara tucks her chin into her chest, wringing her hands a little before sighing and looking back up at Alex with a tight but genuine smile.

“Thanks, Alex.”

“It’s my job,” she snorts, before leveling that Serious Look on Kara. “And it obviously means a lot to you to get her name cleared.”

“Ah. Ha. Yeah.” Kara pushes up her glasses again, looking across the bar. Is M’gann done with that guy yet?

“Kara,” Alex says, and oh no she’s got the Big Sister Voice. “What’s going on between you and Lena Luthor?”

“Nothing!” She smiles, trying not to cringe because yes that was incredibly convincing, Kara Zor-El, with the squeaky break in the middle and all. “I mean, not _nothing_ ¸ we’re friends, good friends, and she’s good! She’s a good person and she shouldn’t have to go through all this again, you know?”

Alex raises a brow at her. “Maggie told me you kissed her on the cheek.”

“Friends… kiss each other on the cheek,” Kara says back, clearing her throat and avoiding eye contact. “All the time.”

“I have literally never seen you kiss someone on the cheek without having a crush on them.”

“A _crush_ ?” Kara sticks her neck out in the best impression of disbelief she can manage, crinkling her brow and scoffing as loud as she can. “Pfft, Alex, what are you _talking_ about, Lena’s a—Lena’s a girl! And _you’re_ the one who likes girls—honestly Alex, I think you’re projecting here, I mean I like Lena, what’s not to like about her? She’s pretty and she’s smart and she’s so passionate about making the world better, I mean—“ she sees Alex’s eyebrows rise higher and higher with every word she says so she tries to slow her locomotive disaster of a ramble. “You know, she’s just—she’s great, you know? We’re friends. Just friends.”

Alex doesn’t seem convinced at all by Kara’s decisive nod and Rao if M’gann could please come over and give her a damn sprite, that would be really really nice.

“Look, Kara,” Alex sighs, leaning both elbows on the bar. “It’s okay if you like girls. It’s okay if you like Lena Luthor. Just as long as you don’t take it any further than that.”

Her relief turns cold. Kara swallows, jaw setting. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Alex dips her head, sighing, and she looks like she’s exasperated and she’s trying to backpedal to come at this a little softer and it just feels _patronizing_.

“Kara, I know you trust her, but you can’t—“ Alex’s hands flex as she tries to come up with a word.

“I can’t what?”

Alex furrows her brows pleadingly. “Hey, come on. I’m not trying to start an argument with you.”

“Yeah? Because it sure sounds like it.”

Kara stares at a nick in the varnish of the bartop, hands clenching, trying not to grip the wood or anything. She hears Alex sigh again.

“I just want you to be careful,” she murmurs. “Clark and Lex were best friends too.”

“She is _nothing_ like him.”

She glares, because it’s not fair, it’s not fair and she doesn’t understand why Alex thinks it’s okay for them to be friends but not dating, and it’s not fair that her mind tells her Alex is just jealous and trying to tie her down again and she really just does not enjoy anything about this situation right now.

She breaks off her glare and tries for her best smile when M’gann steps up to them, eyeing them warily. Kara can’t blame her. It’s only been a couple of months since her release, after all.

(Now _that_ was an argument for the ages. She and J’onn screamed at each other for hours—well, Kara yelled while J’onn orated angrily—until J’onn had to relent that M’gann’s been free for years now and hasn’t hurt anyone.)

“What can I get you?” she asks, and Kara smiles.

“Just a sprite, please.”

M’gann nods before turning to get a cup, and Kara sighs.

“When you came out to me, you said,” she whispers, spreading her palms on the bartop. “That you wouldn’t know what to do if I was disappointed with you.” She turns to look up at Alex. “And I’m kinda feeling like that right now.”

Alex looks remorseful, at the very least, but Kara doesn’t know if she’s sorry or just sad and either makes her feel kind of terrible. They stare at each other for another quiet beat before M’gann sets the glass down in front of Kara.

“Here you go. Want it on your tab?”

Kara gives a strained smile and nods. “Yeah. Thanks.”

And with one last glance at Alex, she takes the drink and walks back to the table.

“Hey, welcome back,” James laughs, bumping Kara with his shoulder as she takes a seat next to him. Kara smiles and bumps him back lightly before handing Lois her drink.

“Thanks, kiddo,” she says with a smile, eyes crinkling warmly. “I’d like to make my first toast of the night to Alexandra Ariela Danvers,” she announces, and Alex looks up like a deer in headlights halfway through sitting on the stool next to Maggie. “For scoring a _smoking_ hot babe and demonstrating game that I absolutely did not know she had.” Lois raises her glass with a wink. “Cheers, bitch.”

And Kara wants to stay kind of mad but it’s impossible with Alex looking like she just got _shot—_ Lois takes a sip with an amused look as the rest of the table dissolves into a fit of hysterics—James leans over his drink laughing, banging the table with his fist a few times, Winn chokes on his beer as he tries not to cackle with a mouthful, Lucy’s holding her face and shaking while Maggie is just flat-out howling— and Kara claps a hand over her smile.

(She would probably be laughing her ass off if it were any other time, but, well. Kara thinks a little bitterly about how accepting Lois is of Alex being gay, but she wouldn’t be so understanding of Kara because Lena’s a Luthor and that’s just not… good enough for anyone, apparently.)

“You should take a page out of her book, Luce,” Lois laughs, waving her sprite at her younger sister. “You’ve been on a dry spell since you got bored of this guy.”

James laughs when Lois slaps him lightly on the shoulder. Lucy, on the other hand, shifts awkwardly with a strained chuckle, taking a big gulp of her drink.

“I’ve been a bit busy to date, honestly,” she offers up mildly, with a pleasant smile. Lois scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“You always were married to your damn job.” She shakes her head. “You need to loosen up once in a while, kid.”

“Well,” Lucy says, hands tightening around her glass. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being committed.”

“You would, working for Dad as soon as you got out of law school. I have no idea how the hell you put up with him for that long,” she laughs. “The man’s a damn xenophobic nutjob. No wonder mom left him—imagine having to listen to your husband rant about outsiders while you’re sitting there, a second gen Syrian. Must’ve been infuriating.”

The rest of the table laughs, because Lois is charming in that dry, frank kind of way but Kara sees Lucy’s eyes flicker the way they do when she’s quietly angry.

“So, where’s Clark?” Lucy asks, flicking her hair out of her face and pursing her lips in a matter-of-fact way. “You’d have thought he’d be here to look after his pregnant girlfriend.”

It’s a barely concealed barb. Lucy and Lois hardly seem to notice the quiet that’s fallen over the rest of them while the sisters glare at each other—well, they don’t glare, because both of them are too subtle for that, they mostly just stare at each other with scathing severity.

“He’s busy.”

“Right. He’s very good at being _busy_ , isn’t he?”

Kara can’t help but feel so incredibly guilty at how relieved she is when she hears sirens going off in the distance—she stands abruptly, fishing cash out of her pockets to drop onto the table.

“Sorry, guys, I’m such an idiot, I totally forgot that I had to—um—feed my neighbor’s cat, she’s away for the weekend.”

Lois gives her a strange look before glancing at Maggie and seeming to relent.

“Alright, get home safe, kiddo.”

Winn’s phone beeps, and he nudges James, whispering something in his ear. They both make to stand, dropping their share of the tab on the table as well.

“Yeah—we—tooootally forgot, I’m, uh,” Winn stammers, collecting his coat hastily. “Helping James with some stuff at CatCo. See you guys later.”

The three of them leave the bar in a hurry, leaving behind a demure silence. Lois sips her sprite.

“Ten bucks Jimmy’s fucking the little guy.”

“Wow.” Alex slides off her bar stool. “And with that, I’m gonna go get myself another drink.”

She crosses over to the bar, drumming her fingers over her empty glass when she hears M’gann snarling at another customer.

“Don’t let me catch you trying to pass me fake money again, Marlowe—“

A short, brown-haired guy snarls right back, slamming a fist onto the bar.

“Where’s your boss? I’m gonna tell him one of his upstart _waitresses_ are making unfounded accusations—“

M’gann yanks some sort of… vertical flashlight from under the counter and shines it on the money—Alex nearly drops her glass when the bills turn into badly drawn-on paper and the coins to bottle caps.

“How’s that for unfounded, asswipe?” She clicks off the light, and the clutter turns back into money. “Don’t show your face in here again or you’re going to have a _real_ talk with my boss.”

Marlowe grumbles as he shoves his hands in his pocket and marches out.

M’gann watches until he gets all the way out the bar before turning to Alex, pursing her lips.

“Sorry about that. What can I get you?”

“Actually,” Alex says, glancing at the ‘fake’ money on the table. “What was that about?”

M’gann sighs. “Venati. They can make refraction fields around objects to make them look like something they’re not—illusionists, basically.”

“Do the fields hold up long enough to use on fake money?”

M’gann nods. “Yeah, basically forever, even if the one who put it there gets far away. The only way you can see through it is by using a disruptor.” She eyes Alex warily. “Why?”

Alex shifts. “How many of those disruptors do you have?”

* * *

 

“Hey,” Lois murmurs, breaking the silence. Lucy grips the steering wheel a little tighter. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

“It’s fine,” Lucy snaps.

“It’s not. You know me, I get too into making jokes that I don’t know when to shut up sometimes.”

That teases a small smirk out of Lucy, and Lois smiles a little in victory.

“I’m sorry too,” Lucy sighs, reluctantly. “You’re right. Dad’s… not the greatest with his opinions. I don’t know why, I just got really defensive when you…”

She trails off and Lois takes it as permission to speak.

“I know why,” she says, fiddling a little with her seatbelt. “It because he’s the only one who’s always been there for you.”

Lucy glances at her sharply.

“Mom left and then I basically abandoned you as soon as I moved out for school.” She laughs bitterly. “I know it’s gonna sound like horseshit but I _am_ sorry, Luce. I know he’s been a lot better to you than I have.”

Lucy blinks rapidly, inhaling deeply. She stares resolutely forward and a silence falls over them.

“Why did you come back?” Lucy asks with a wobbly whisper after a few long moments, and Lois turns away from the window. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, finally sighing as she leans her head back and closes her eyes.

“You remember when I was in highschool, I came home crying because I got bullied over my braces?” She chuckles a little. “You were such a tomboy back then. You marched your little ten year old ass to my school and beat the _shit_ out of two teenage boys.”

"I was raised by a soldier," Lucy snorts.

Lois laughs, before opens her eyes and looks down at her hands. “My point is that… You were always there for me. And I wasn’t. And I’m really sorry.”

Lucy blinks again and jerks her hand, as if she almost went to wipe her sleeve on her face and just barely caught herself.

“That doesn’t really answer my question,” she laughs breathlessly.

“It doesn’t,” Lois chuckles. “I’m fucking terrible at this so I’ll just—“ she sighs. “I love you, Lucy. When I found out I got pregnant, I thought about going through with this without you and I just—I couldn’t do it. I want you to be in my life _so_ bad, Luce.” Her voice shakes a little at that too, and she brings a hand up to her face. “I know I need to earn that, and I—I’d understand if it was too late.”

There’s a pause like a held breath. Lucy finally relents and wipes a hand over her eyes.

“I’m sorry about what I said about Clark.”

Lois breaks into a smile. It’s a small offering, but it’s more than enough.

“You’re fine, kiddo.” She sighs. “Besides, you’re not wrong.”

Lucy glances over at that, then goes to place a hand over Lois’s. Her older sister smiles at her and squeezes her hand gratefully.

* * *

 

It’s only been a day since she’s temporarily moved into Kara’s apartment. It feels so odd, so _domestic_ when she drives there instead of her own apartment, turns the keys that were _willingly_ given to her, and opens up a door to an apartment full of warmth and yellows and _Kara_.

Her laptop is still set up on the kitchen island where she left it after answering emails that morning, there’s a stray shirt thrown over the couch from what Lena can only assume was one of Kara’s emergency pit stops. There’s a strange feeling in her stomach, at that—it’s one thing to know about Kara’s second job. It’s another thing to be invited to see the evidence of it, the traces of her full life, as Kara Danvers and as Supergirl.

There’s an intimacy there she’s not sure what to do with.

She puts her bag down on the couch and moves to the bedroom, letting her feet bask in freedom, rolling out the ache in her ankles as she zips herself out of her dress and pulls on a pair of pajamas. She gets about halfway through brushing her teeth, palms feeling odd on Kara’s sink when she realizes that she hasn’t shared a home with anyone in ten years.

The realization is sharp on her tongue so she spits out the toothpaste and rinses her mouth. It’s just so…. Odd. Hurting while healing, or only realizing she’s hurting because someone’s being kind to her.

She comes out of the bathroom dabbing her mouth when Kara flies in through the window, looking haggard (or as haggard as she can possibly look under a yellow sun) and she takes one look at Lena before floating over and collapsing into her arms.

Lena laughs as she rubs Kara’s back, running her other hand through her blonde hair.

“Long day?”

Kara whines into her shoulder. Lena chuckles again, kissing the side of her head.

“How about I make you a hot chocolate, and you can tell me about it?”

That gets Kara to tighten her hold and burrow into her more, groaning something against her neck.

“ _Kehp’odh rrip w khap’i’zhao…”_

The sweet staccato of Kryptonian never fails to make her heart skip a beat. She laughs and kisses Kara again.

“You know I don’t understand you.”

Kara sighs into her neck before pulling away, beaming at Lena.

“I said that you’re the best.”

“Was that ever in question?” Lena kisses her nose and nudges her towards the couch. “Go on. Get nestled.”

Kara steals another peck before peeling off towards the couch, pirouetting into a dramatic collapse. Lena stifles a laugh as Kara lands face-first and groans.

“That bad, huh?”

“I don’t know how I got through it.” Lena almost doesn’t make out the muffled words and she just laughs as she puts the kettle on.

“Being superpowered helps, I imagine.”

“Well,” Kara’s voice comes clearer as she shifts her head towards Lena. “Superpowers don’t help with family drama.”

“Oh dear.” Lena looks over her shoulder and frowns sympathetically. “Something happen with Lois?”

“And Lucy. And Alex,” Kara mumbles. “It was a really bad night for sisters.”

A siren goes off in the distance and Kara buries her face in the cushion again, whining at the same pitch. Lena claps a hand over her smile—

_Adorable._

“I can’t just hope Guardian gets that, right?”

“It’s up to you, darling.”

Kara sighs. The answer is obvious enough—she’s not the type to gamble with her responsibilities, whether or not Guardian is trustworthy.

“I’ll be right back,” she groans, hefting herself up off the couch.

“Don’t rush, I’m not going anywhere.”

The windows fly open and the apartment blurs with red and blue for a moment before Lena’s left alone with a ghost of a kiss on her cheek. She traces a finger over the tingling, turning back towards the kettle as she tries to tame the tightness in her chest. She’s happy, she’s so ridiculously happy—

But the higher up she goes, the further she has to fall.

There’s a knock on the door and she jumps a little bit, clutching the edge of the counter. Her first instinct is to just—pretend no one’s home, but the knocking gets more insistent and Lena decides that it might be something important to Kara’s normal life and taking a message is the least she can do.

She opens the door to a very disgruntled Alex Danvers in a leather jacket.

Bad, bad idea.

“Lena Luthor,” she breathes. Lena’s suddenly very aware of her loose shirt and plaid pajama pants. “What are you doing here?”

“I, um—“ and she screams a little inside because she usually prides herself in being very articulate—“ Kara offered to…”

Alex is waiting for Lena to finish that sentence when Supergirl herself flies back in through the window, breathless.

“Told you I’d be—“ She touches down and notices Alex and freezes. “Alex.”

The elder Danvers slowly looks at Kara, then at back at Lena, jaw gritting in a million mental calculations and Lena can practically hear the _ding!_ as she arrives at the conclusion.

Or maybe it’s sirens, judging from her glare. Lena steps away from the door, tucking her hair behind her ears as she clears her throat.

“I’m sorry, I should go—“

“No. Nope—“ Alex puts her hands up, tucking her chin and sighing as she clenches her teeth. Her lips twitch in a mirthless laugh as she looks back up. “I’ll go.”

“Alex—“ Kara takes a step forward and Alex nearly shuffles back.

“It’s fine, Kara, I just—“ she takes a breath. “I think that, if we get into it right now, we’re going to say things we both regret.” She says every word slowly, giving a tight smile as she shoves her hands into her pockets. “So I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Kara gulps before nodding dejectedly. Alex glances at Lena before nodding and walking off. There’s a long silence while she closes the door and turns back to Kara, too afraid to approach.

“I’m sorry.”

Kara jerks up at that. “What? Lena, no,” she steps forward and holds Lena’s shoulders. “It’s not—I just need to talk to her, is all. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Lena doesn’t say anything as Kara pulls her into her arms, because it really, really does just feel like her fault. She knows how important Alex is to Kara and how much it stings to watch her walk away.

There wouldn’t be a problem if her last name was Smith, after all. Kara kisses the side of her head and she tries not to flinch.

* * *

 

Maxwell Lord strides to his car as he picks up his phone, irked.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Max. I apologize for calling so late.”

Lord scoffs. “That’s alright, I don’t happen to have a bed time, unlike you.”

A low chuckle on the other end. “Are you trying to antagonize me, Max?”

“No, I’m just a little annoyed at how long you’re taking. This deal isn’t going to be on the table forever, I hope you know.”

“I don’t intend for it to expire. I’ve been informed there have been just a few inconveniences.”

“I didn’t know some _inconveniences_ would stop you. I’m surprised you’re playing the long game to humiliate her, to be honest. Seems a little cold.”

A pause. “The job will be done soon. I trust you’ll hold up your end of the bargain?”

“No lasting sentiments for poor little Lena, then? Alright.” He smirks as he gets into his car. “I’m a man of my word. You’ll get your freedom as soon as she’s out of the picture.”

“She will be soon, I assure you.”

“You gotta prove it to me, Lex. I’m giving you one more day.”

He hangs up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in a surprising turn of the tables, im feeling confident about my academic life and more and more anxious about my writing. tfw you hit 18k and start to doubt your ability to pull conflict and themes together coherently.  
> this is my most ambitious project yet, im really shaky on the pacing and i know it gets a little mediocre at points, but lemme know what you thought!


	4. where they reach the breaking point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people admit they're wrong. Lena tries to self-destruct. Kara and James get to be angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *lies down* i just pushed out 9k words in 10 hours i don't ever wanna look at my laptop ever again

When Kara gets to the DEO that morning, Eliza’s already there taking Lois’s blood pressure while Alex watches anxiously from the side.  She stops for a moment. The sight of Lois—on the brightly lit medical bed, lifted into a reclined seat, shirt lifted up to her ribs and a small bump in the dark sandy skin of her abdomen—brings back an old memory in Kara the way that one would dust off an old possession they didn’t know they still had and hold it up in nostalgic marvel.

_“How long until you know, Zor?”_

_Zor-El sighs, laying down the equipment. Lara laughs, sharing a beleaguered look with her brother-in-law._

_“Have patience, Husband, your brother is a scientist, not a healer.”_

_“You could just wait for Doctor Ru-Ke to visit tomorrow,” Zor-El grumbles. Jor-El stops in his pacing to glare once._

_“He was supposed to be here today!”_

_“Healers are very busy, dear.”_

_Zor-El smiles and gestures across the room at Kara. “Kir-ehd’kah, will you come here and hold your Aunt’s hand until your mother arrives? I’m afraid your uncle will upset the baby.”_

_Kara giggles as she hops over and takes Lara’s hand, returning her aunt’s sleepy smile._

_“Sit with me, is-kah,” Lara murmurs, wrapping her arm around Kara and tugging her onto the medical bed. “I can only hope Kal-El takes after your grandfather like you have.” She grins conspiratorially and leans in. “I don’t know how I’ll handle having a worrywart husband_ and _son.”_

_Jor-El pauses in his pacing to frown indignantly._

_“My love, this is no joking matter, your life could be in danger—“_

_“Or,” Zor-El sighs. “She could just have childbearing fatigue. One in five expecting mothers develop symptoms.”_

_“Or it could be Bandur’s Disease!” Jor-El shoots back, spiralling into his babbling pace of paranoia again. Zor-El rolls his eyes. Lara and Kara share a wry look before Lara pulls her in closer with a smile._

_“Seems like your mother’s the only one who can keep my husband in line,” she chuckles. “Of all the days for her to be busy…”_

_Kara hugs her tighter. “I’ll look after you.”_

_Her aunt leans their heads together and runs a hand through her hair._

_“Brave kir-edh’kah, what would we do without you?”_

_“Zor, can you work any faster?”_

_“Patience, Jor-El,” Lara admonishes. “We’re going to be fine.”_

_[Nahn khaep w’voi, eh zhao’te. Nim kryp w’voi...]_

“Kara!”

She hears Lois call to her through the glass walls, returning the smile and wave as she walks through the hallways. Eliza puts down her stethoscope as Kara rounds the corner, standing up.

“Eliza!” She pushes herself into her mother’s arms, squeezing as tightly as she could without hurting.

“Kara, sweetie, it’s so good to see you.”

“I missed you,” Kara whines as she pulls away. “How was your flight?”

“Awful, as always,” Eliza laughs, taking her seat. “But Alex managed to get me home safe and sound.”

Kara glances at Alex and they share a tight, subdued smile.

(Things aren’t completely okay. Not yet. But they’re sisters, and nothing will break them for good.)

Kara pretends not to see Eliza give them both a concerned look at their uncharacteristically quiet greeting. “So,” she says, taking a seat on the other side of Lois. “How is the baby? Is everything okay?”

Eliza nods as she puts away a scanner on one of the nearby tables.

“Nothing’s conclusive until the embryo grows a little bit larger, but from the DNA tests it looks like the chromosome structures are compatible and the cell division is going smoothly without any algorithm complications or mutations. The development is well on track and balanced, so it seems the nutrient relay must be fully compatible.”

“In English, please,” Lois jokes.

“It means, as far as we can tell, the embryo is viable,” Alex says, shifting her weight with a small grin. “We’ll need to keep monitoring it, but everything points to the pregnancy going smoothly.”

A soft gasp lets out of Lois’s lungs and she squeezes Kara’s hand—Kara, for her part, feels her chest go molten for the billionth time since hearing the news.

The embryo is viable. The first child of Krypton since its demise is before her, healthy, and _possible._

Something in Eliza’s pocket beeps, and she checks it ruefully.

“Excuse me, it’s from the airport…”

“Airport?” Lois asks. Alex’s mouth twists.

“They lost some of her luggage. Come on mom, I’ll drive you—“

“No, it’s alright Alex, I’m sure you’re busy here.” She kisses both her daughters on the cheek before giving Lois a hug. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” Alex hesitates, stepping towards the door. Eliza waves her off.

“Positive. Call me first thing if you need anything, Lois.”

Lois salutes at her stern point, laughing. Kara watches Eliza walk through the DEO before sighing, turning back to Lois with a bit of a lost smile.

Alex walks over to place a hand on Kara’s shoulder.

“So. You’re going to be a… cousin once removed?”

Kara frowns. “Isn’t it second cousin?”

“Can we not deal with that?” Lois laughs. “You can just be the baby’s aunt. You too, if you wanted, Alex.”

Kara looks up at Alex to see her completely dumbfounded, hand almost lifting away from Kara’s shoulder at the invitation.

“I mean, I…”

Kara grabs her hand before it can slip off her shoulder and squeezes, smiling up at her. She knows how lonely Alex feels everytime she gushes about Clark or anything Kryptonian, how much of a divide she feels between herself and Kara’s Kryptonian history— she knows how afraid Alex is of Kara choosing her House over her family.

“It’s only if you wanted, Alex, it’s just,” Lois sighs, smiling wryly. “Clark and I want Kara to be as involved in this baby’s life as possible. And you guys are a package deal.”

“I…” Alex’s mouth stays a little open as her eyes flit from Lois to her shoes, a little lost. Kara beams as she swallows and blinks before looking back up at Lois, hand tightening on her sister’s shoulder. “I’d love to.”

Lois breaks into a smirk. “Good, because you should start brushing up on your Kryptahniuo as early as you can.”

“My what?” Alex’s brows skyrocket and Kara’s pretty sure she whipped her head back to Lois at superspeed.

“The Kyrptonian language,” Lois says, grin turning wicked. “This baby’s first language is gonna be Kryptahniuo, which means I am not letting any of us speak English around it for the first year, at least.”

The words bounce around in Kara’s head like belligerent butterflies as she tries to line them up in some kind of coherent order.

“I mean, if you’re okay with it, Clark and I decided we want you to teach the baby—not just the language, but everything about being Kryptonian.” She gnaws on her lip a little and closes her hands around one of Kara’s. “We could probably manage on our own with Kelex, but…. You actually remember Krypton.”

Kara’s still trying to piece it together when she feels Alex’s grip on her shoulder tighten and Lois looks unsure for the first time since Kara’s known her.

“Kiddo, just tell me no and I’ll back off, I know it’s not an easy thing for you—“

“No, no, I just—“ Kara blinks. “Just, give me a second, I…”

Never thought about this? Gave up hope of ever speaking her beloved language more than just to herself? Thought Krypton culture would die with her?

There are so many things she could say, so many jumbling expectations being torn down and age-old resignations being dusted off and shaky, dangerous hope lifting precariously into Kara’s heart.

“I’m thrilled,” she finally says, hearing Lois sigh in relief under her breath as they share a shaky laugh. “It’s just—a lot to process, you know? I’m gonna have to spend a lot of time around the baby—“

“I’ll be staying in National City with Lucy—if that’s okay with you,” she says, leaning forward eagerly.

Kara frowns. “For the entire time? Is that okay? I mean, Metropolis needs Clark—“

“And Metropolis will keep Clark.” Lois shrugs. “It’d be more of a problem if it didn’t take him fifteen minutes to fly over.”

“ _Giv-oh rraduhs…_ ” Kara mumbles under her breath.

Lois squints hopefully. “Is that good swearing or bad swearing?”

Kara laughs, heart swelling.

“Why am I not surprised you taught yourself the swearwords first?” She shakes her head. It’s good, it’s wonderful, I just—are you guys sure about this?”

Lois nods. “More than anything. Clark loves the Kents, but he’s always struggled with having to teach himself his own heritage, and I…” She sighs and looks down at their clasped hands.

“When I was little, I used to be able to speak Arabic to my mom.” She gives a crinkly smile. “Over time I stopped going to Arabic lessons because I thought they were so useless—I didn’t think I’d ever need it in my everyday life, you know? And then she left, and one day when I was sixteen I realized I couldn’t speak a lick of it.” She sighs ruefully and pats Kara’s hand. “It’s one of my biggest regrets.”

Kara thinks about the times she’s blanked on a word for a second when trying to explain something to Kal, and the sheer terror that rolled in her stomach.

“And I know you guys have indefinitely good neuroplasticity under a yellow sun so it’s not that big of a deal to re-learn if you forget, but—there’s a difference between being able to speak a language and being able to see the world in it.” Lois looks her in the eyes with a kind of sad determination. “We don’t want our kid to be torn between being normal and being fully themselves like we did. We want being Kryptonian to feel just as natural as being human—for them to be able to be all of who they are without…” Lois sighs. “I don’t know, I know it won’t work perfectly, but—am I even making sense?”

Kara’s answer is just a huge, smothering hug as she nearly lifts herself onto the bed as well.

“Careful, kiddo,” Lois coughs, patting Kara’s back. “Be gentle with the pregnant lady, I’m fragile.”

“That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told,” Alex scoffs under her breath. Kara feels Lois’s hand shift behind her back and she’s ninety percent sure her sister is getting flipped off.

“Eat my ass, Danvers.”

“That’s disgusting, Lane, being gay doesn’t mean I don’t have standards.”

Lois laughs heartily, only a little scandalized as Kara pulls away. “Rude ass bitch. Is this revenge for last night?”

“Maybe,” is Alex’s flippant response.

Kara laughs as she sits back on the stool and wipes at her eyes.

“No swearing around the baby,” she says, and Lois raises a brow at the sternness in her tone.

“Yes ma’am,” she salutes, “Baby Danvers is all grown up and giving orders now.”

Kara lets a little grin slip, perking up when she hears Alex’s comms buzz. The agent straightens up and turns away, hand to her earpiece and nodding as Kara stands.

“Roger.” She turns back to Kara. “Situation near Little Italy,” she says, and Kara nods back before lightly squeezing Lois’s hand and smiling down at her.

“I gotta take this and then head to work. You going to be okay?”

Lois waves her off. “I’ll be fine, Eliza will be back in a second and Lucy’s just wrapping something up at the bunker before heading here.” She winks. “Got get ‘em, kiddo.”

Kara gives one last light hug before straightening up and heading for the door. Alex holds the door open for her.

“I’ll brief you on the way out.”

Kara nods at that, stomach twinging nervously as she heads out the door and down the hallway.

“Another Shax Rogue,” Alex says, falling into step next to her. “Remember, go straight for the eyes and—“

“Avoid the toxic spit this time, yeah,” Kara chimes in as they walk into the brightly lit lobby. She stops for a second, frowning as she scans the room. “Wait, where’s Winn?”

Alex’s jaw sets lightly.

“Oh no. What’d he do?”

“Nothing,” she says a little too forcefully. “He just had a stomach ache. He’ll be back soon.”

Kara frowns. Since when does Alex get so angry about Winn’s work ethic?

Then again, he _has_ been skipping out randomly a lot. She should probably talk to him later or something.

“Alright. Anything else I should know?”

“Guardian’s on site, holding it off while the civilians evacuate.”

Kara nods and makes to take off when Alex reaches for her elbow, hastily but so hesitantly she hardly touches Kara at all.

“Wait, Kara, I…” She twists her mouth unhappily, and Kara frowns on the slightly devastated side of upset.

“Alex, we don’t have to do this…”

“I won’t keep you long.” Alex shakes her head. “I just wanted you to know I’d never be disappointed in you, okay? I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“She won’t hurt me,” Kara insists, but Alex just frowns more sadly.

“We don’t know that.”

And Kara thinks it’s not fair, because there’s more evidence that Lena’s trustworthy than there is to justify treating her like she’s evil, that all Lena has ever done since coming to National City is to _help_ people and prove that she’s not like her brother so why can’t Alex just _see_ that—

But Kara looks up and she doesn’t see someone she can be angry at. She doesn’t see malice or blind anger of people dead set to hate the Luthors, she doesn’t see disdain, all she sees is her sister. Who loves her. Who just wants to protect her.

All the fight drains from her and she’s left with a listless sort of frustration.

 _Irstun-odh gehd-uju ehm Rao’i’ndivi fa._ Everything changes under Rao’s light, she reminds herself. This too shall pass. Kara gives Alex one last pleading look before taking off into the sky.

They’re sisters. Alex has to come around one day. Kara won’t know what to do if she doesn’t.

* * *

 

“Finally decided to show up, Sawyer? Didn’t know you still worked at our precinct.”

Maggie rolls her eyes as she drops her files on her desk and takes her usual seat across from Ramirez.

“Lighten up, Tony, I slept in a little.”

Tony scoffs, barely looking up at her as he clicks through something on his screen. “I guess you’ve been sleeping the past few days, ah?”

“I was working with the feds, Ramirez, it’s their jurisdiction too.” She leans back in her chair and gives him an exasperated snort. “What’s your problem?”

 _“My problem,”_ he hisses in Spanish, “ _Is that you chew me out for talking to a fed without you then go skipping off with that same fed for the past two days, sending me updates through_ texts _, Mags. Texts.”_

Maggie grimaces, hands limp on her desk. Tony just scowls before taking a chug of his coffee.

_“What’s the matter, Sawyer, the big cop too inconvenient to lug around on your elite investigations?”_

Maggie rolls her eyes. “ _Tony, it’s not like that—“_

“We speak English here,” Whitley sneers as he passes by their desks. Maggie and Tony watch him go with matching scowls.

 _“Mind your ugly white ass business,”_ Tony mutters, and Maggie stifles a laugh into her coffee. The tension breaks a little bit—he looks over to share a knowing look, a kinder twinkle in his eye.

Maggie puts down her mug and sighs.

“I’m sorry, okay?” she starts, laying her palms out on her desk. “I know I shouldn’t have skipped out on you like that. They’ve got better resources, and it was hard keeping up enough to stay in the loop.”

He studies her for a moment, hands clasped in his lap, and Maggie stares back just as hard.

After a moment he cracks into a grin.

“Pretty face doesn’t hurt, yeah?”

Maggie laughs and throws a pen at him—he hardly flinches, letting it bounce off his shoulder.

“Promise to stop skipping out on me, alright? I don’t mind working with your cute little fed.”

She quirks a brow. “You didn’t seem too fond of her last time.”

He shrugs. “We got off on the wrong foot. Can’t blame me for wanting to protect my crime scene when I don’t even know what department she’s from.”

“Hey, she got us those disruptors, didn’t she?” She fiddles with another pen. “Heard you canvassed the crime scene with them this morning.”

He nods, pulling out a file from his stack and tossing it towards her. “Your FBI girl got it right. ‘Soon as we flashed the little things on the tire treads and footprints, they changed into those.”

She opens the file and squints down at the photos. “Looks like an old pair of Vans, and a…”

“Ducati.”

Maggie snorts. “Pretty sure Lena Luthor doesn’t have a license to drive a motorcycle.”

Tony grunts. “We’re narrowing down the signal that Luthor’s assistant managed to nab the other day, and ten bucks it leads to a parked bike somewhere.”

Maggie smirks up at him, closing the file and tossing it back. “Still think she’s the killer?”

He rolls his eyes, putting the file away in one of his drawers. “None of this rules her out, but no, it’s too damn elaborate. She’d have to be an idiot to set up something like this.” He sighs. “Besides, if she’s really trying to fund the clinic…”

Maggie watches him thoughtfully rub his mouth, hand passing over a grizzly pepper-and-salt layer of stubble.

“What do you know about the clinic?” she asks.

He glances at her quickly. “Terrestrial Care? I take Kris for checkups every month.”

“Kris?” She sits up. “Why, is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” he waves his hand. “Nothing life-threatening. She’s suddenly allergic to something in the atmosphere, apparently, they’re trying to figure out what it is.”

“She’s doing alright though?”

Tony nods as an officer passes by with another report for him, thanking him briefly before opening it on his desk. “Yeah, she’s doing fine. I got her an inhaler and told the teachers she has asthma. She won the chess championship last week.”

Tony’s big, proud grin is infectious. Maggie laughs as she pulls out a blank report form and clicks her pen.

“Well, hey, tell her congrats for me.”

“Will do,” he chuckles before sobering a little as he runs a hand through his hair. “I think I might owe Luthor an apology after all this is done.”

Maggie raises a brow at him, laughing a little. “Whoah, being civil to a Luthor? Who are you and what have you done with Anthony Ramirez?”

 _“Shut up,”_ he laughs, kicking her chair a little under the table. “I’m old enough to own up to being wrong, she’s done nothing but try to make as little noise as possible since she got that damn company.” He sighs. “Just hard not to get angry when I think about that name.” He glances up at her. “Did I ever tell you how I adopted Kris?”

Maggie shakes her head.

“A few years ago, there was a bombing.” He groans and runs a hand over his face. “It was at a sanctuary they said served aliens—Lex Luthor came to us telling us to raid it, because harboring aliens without reporting them was still illegal at the time.” His mouth twists in disdain. “We told him we couldn’t do anything about it because we had no evidence for a warrant, yeah? Five days later, boom.” His fingers flick in a dark imitation of an explosion.

Maggie frowns. “He can’t have gotten out of that unscathed.”

Tony shakes his head. “We brought him in for questioning, yeah, but we couldn’t pin anything on him. All we had was a blown up building and forty dead bodies. So now, when I hear the name Luthor, I can only think of two things” he says, leaning in and holding up two fingers for emphasis. “Pulling Kris out of a pile of rubble while she cries for her parents, and Lex Luthor walking out of the precinct with a smug smile and his expensive lawyers.” He runs a hand over his eyes again. “It’s hard to try to see his little sister differently when she’s powerful enough to get away with doing the same thing.”

Her folds his hands and picks up a pen, toying with it idly. His gaze is pointed at his desk but Maggie sees him a thousand miles away.

“Hey,” Maggie prompts. “It’s fine now. Kris has you.”

He smiles up at her, lines around his eyes crinkling. “That she does.”

His phone pings and he picks it up off his desk, frowning.

“What is it?”

“They found our killer’s bike a few blocks from the park. Abandoned. We got the license plate though.”

“Alright,” Maggie grunts, chugging the dregs of her coffee and grimacing. “Forward it to me, I’ll run it through the system. We should be able to get an address, with any luck.”

* * *

 

“Hello?”

Kara grins. Jess sounds as professional and slightly annoyed on the phone as she does in real life.

“Hey Jess, it’s Kara.”

“Kara,” Jess breathes, relieved, and Kara swells up in pride, the kind when you have the approval of someone who usually hates everyone else.

“Is everything okay? How’s Lena?”

Kara laughs, wedging the phone between her face and her shoulder as she shuffles away a few files into her desk. “She’s fine. I’m having the time of my life mooching premium Netflix off of her.”

Jess snorts. “And the company?”

“Hasn’t fallen apart without you.” Kara takes her phone back into her hand. “As far as I know.”

She hears Jess sigh, wondering if it’s in relief or in exasperation.

“How are _you_ doing, Jess?” Kara gnaws at her lip guiltily. “I’m sorry I haven’t seen you since you got hurt, my mom came to town and things got really hectic—“

“It’s fine, Kara,” Jess chortles. “They discharged me after a few hours, I’ve just been home since. Bored out of my mind, so Peebee’s getting sick of me.”

 _“I’m not!”_ is the faint reply and Kara laughs.

“Hi Peebee!”

There’s a shuffling like Jess is turning away from the receiver slightly. “Kara says hi.”

_“Hi Kara!”_

Jess chuckles again, with a fond breathlessness to it. Kara finds herself grinning at her computer.

“I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“It was just a scratch, really, it didn’t hurt until I got home.”

“You got _shot_ at, Jess.”

“I know, I know,” Jess grumbles. “I’ll leave the exciting shit to the more qualified people next time.”

There’s a loud clang somewhere in the background and Peebee swears.

“Babe, you okay?”

_“I’m fine! I just dropped the mixing bowl, don’t you dare get up…”_

Kara laughs. “Are you on bed arrest?”

“Might as well be, she won’t stop fussing over me,” Jess groans. “You’d think I broke my leg or something.”

“Well, Lena’ll be glad to hear that someone’s taking care of you.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath but Jess doesn’t get to reply as there’s another loud clang.

_“I dropped an empty container, everything is fine—“_

“Jesus Christ Peebee—“ Jess snorts. “She’s trying to cook me Telari food.”

“Really?” Kara’s brows shoot up. “How? Is she using substitutes for the ingredients?”

“No, she just picked up stuff from the alien grocery store down the street. Apparently there’s a greenhouse out of town that specializes in alien horticulture?” Jess doesn’t sound too sure. “Apparently it’s a real treat.”

Kara laughs. “You don’t sound so enthusiastic.”

“I’ve watched this woman eat an entire jar of peanut butter for dinner most nights,” Jess deadpans.

_“I’m allowed to be indulgent!”_

“ _Not_ the word I’d reach for.”

Kara laughs again, almost hearing Jess’s eyeroll.

“It’s sweet that she’s cooking for you, I’ve heard Telari cuisine is amazing.”

“If she can cook it well,” Jess whispers into the receiver, avoiding getting another comment from Peebee. Kara giggles. “Honestly, I thought dating an alien would be weirder.”

“How so?” Kara fiddles with her glasses.

“I dunno, I guess,” Jess snorts. “Maybe I shouldn’t have expected anything different. It’s just the same as dating someone from another culture, just a… really _far_ culture.” Jess chuckles quietly. “We talk about things we miss, compare languages, fight over movie night… You know. It’s so _normal_.”

Kara smiles again, immensely enjoying Jess’s rare burst of openness (she must be really bored to talk this much). A human and an alien, living a normal life together—

_“You know if you kept your baking stuff more organized I wouldn’t be having this problem…”_

“Oh, kiss my ass, _Penelope Brooks_ , your kitchen doesn’t even have a proper system. I’m serious,” she says more into the phone. “She keeps her cutlery with her tupperware and all the lids are scattered in her cabinets.”

_“Hey, I can remember where I put everything…”_

Kara laughs and feels something like hope and familiarity settle in her chest.

“Hey Jess, I gotta get back to work, but I’m really glad to hear you’re doing okay.”

“Thanks—don’t let me keep you. And Lena…”

Kara grins. “I’ll tell her you said hi.”

Jess sighs. “Thanks.”

* * *

 

“Mr. Olsen will see you now,” the assistant says, giving Alex a frazzled smile. She nods and marches in, closing the door behind herself before James can even look up from his desk.

“Alex,” he says, smiling. “What’s up?”

“Hey, James,” she says, a little strained, as she walks up to his desk. “Sorry to drop in suddenly.”

“No, no, that’s fine,” he says, standing up and gesturing to the couches. “Take a seat.”

“I’m fine,” she says, waving the offer off. “This’ll only take a second.”

He blinks at her a few times before shrugging. “Alright.” He leans his hands on his desk. “What can I do for you?”

“You patrol the east side on weeknights, right?” He nods, and Alex opens a file on his desk, pointing to a picture clipped inside. “Recognize this guy?”

James leans over the picture, frowning. “Yeah… I think I do. I’ve caught him a few times.” He looks up at her. “He’s a pickpocket.”

Alex leans forward on her knuckles, frowning. “Have you seen him doing anything suspicious lately?”

James straightens up. “Other than scouting crowds for marks?” he snorts. “No, not really.” He crosses his arms and frowns. “What’s this about?”

Alex sighs and puts her hands on her hips. “He’s a murder suspect.”

“For Stratford?”

Alex looks up at him, surprised, jaw setting. “How did you know?”

James quirks a brow at her, half-smiling. “I’m Kara’s friend, for one. Between Clark’s baby and clearing Lena’s name, she hasn’t had much else on her mind lately.”

“Ugh,” Alex groans, turning away and plopping down on one of the couches. “She’s too worried about Lena Luthor, if you ask me…”

James laughs as he rounds his desk and sits across from her. “You know Kara. She’s protective of her friends.”

“Yeah _, friends_ …” She grumbles. Her eyes snap up when James shifts, resolutely avoiding eye contact. “Wait. You know.”

“Know…. What?” He asks, charming smile turned to a maximum, broad shoulders fidgeting nervously. Alex nearly shoots out of her seat.

“That they’re sleeping together!”

James cringes. “It’s a _little_ less casual than that—“

“They’re _dating!?”_ Alex nearly shrieks, shooting up onto her feet, and James holds his face in regret. “Wh— _how long have you known?!”_

“Okay, okay Alex,” he says, standing and holding his hands up in a pacifying gesture. “Let’s just calm down, okay?”

“I’ve threatened Winn for information before and I’m not above doing it to you, Olsen,” she hisses, crossing her arms. “How. Long. Have. You. Known.”

James groans. “A little after they started seeing each other.”

“Which was _when?!”_

“Alright, Alex, you need to calm down, okay?” He winces. “I’ll tell you everything I can, just—just calm down, you’re gonna pop a vein or something.”

She snarls for a moment before acquiescing, slowly taking a seat without breaking furious eye contact. James sighs in relief and sits down as well, wringing his hands together.

“Look, I promised her I wouldn’t say anything. She wanted to tell you herself, when she was ready.” He looks up and sees Alex soften a little at that.

Kara made him promise. She was hoping to be ready one day. Alex swallows the guilty tang on her tongue.

“How did you find out?” she asks, a little more quietly this time.

“I did the same thing you did, probably,” he starts. “She was citing Lena more and more in her articles, and I confronted her about getting too close to a Luthor.”

“And she didn’t listen to you?”

“I can’t tell her what to do—“

“James, you of all people know that you can’t just blindly trust a Luthor—“

“I _know_ , Alex—“

“Lex and Clark were best friends before—“

“I don’t, Alex!” He shouts finally, hands coming down on his knees in frustration. “I don’t trust Lena Luthor.”

Alex frowns, searching his eyes. “Then why didn’t you stop Kara?”

“Because I trust _Kara_.” His words drop heavy with certainty, brown eyes deep with finality. “I trust her to make her own decisions,” he continues, a little quieter, “because she’s an adult, and also the kindest person I’ve ever met.”

Alex’s fist clenches on her knee, and James sighs again.

“You and I both know how she sees the best in everyone. She saves people without even once questioning whether or not they deserve to be saved, and she puts her whole heart and life into helping people.” He points to his heart for emphasis. “She inspires me every day to be a better, braver person. And I know she inspires you too.”

Alex’s mouth twitches, and she wrings her hands, looking away.

(Of course she does. Alex watches her tackle the horrible things in this world with nothing more than a smile and unwavering faith, when she deserves more than anything to be angry and bitter.)

“If Lena Luthor is anything like her brother,” James says, “Kara is the one person who can keep her good.”

Alex shakes her head. “If Lena is anything like her brother, then she’s _crazy_ —“

“Lex wasn’t crazy,” he says, voice rumbling deep in his chest. Alex looks up to see him furrowing his brows at her, looking almost… _Sad._ “I’m not going to excuse what he’s done, but… Lex was dealing with a controlling mother bordering on abusive, running an entire company by himself, and staying in the shadows of a best friend who lied to him for years.” He wrings his hands. “If Clark had told him earlier…”

“That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t have done all the things he did, James.”

James sighs, mouth twisting wryly. “It doesn’t. My point is that he wasn’t always evil. And Lena… If Lena is anything like Lex, it just means that she’s just as lonely and hurt. And you know Kara won’t ever let her fall.”

Alex doesn’t respond. She just wrings her hands more, hard line of her mouth trembling a bit, angry mask cracking a little bit.

“I don’t want her to get hurt,” she says finally, voice just above a hoarse whisper.

He sighs, then gets up to walk around the coffee table and plop down next to Alex, the motion jostling them both with a comforting kind of heaviness.

“You can’t protect her from everything,” he says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “She knows what betrayal feels like, more than any of us do.”

(Her father’s involvement in the Medusa virus. Her mother’s complicit passivity in Krypton’s destruction. _Astra.)_

“She knows what she’s risking, and she still made the choice.” He smiles reassuringly and squeezes Alex when she looks up at him.

“You don’t have to trust Lena Luthor, Alex. You just have to trust your sister.”

She gives him a shaky smile, almost more of a scared grimace than anything, quickly looking away at her hands.

James frowns and stands up abruptly, walking towards the desk.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asks, half-standing as well.

James picks up the photo and turns to Alex.

“Hold on. I’m forgetting something about this guy…”

* * *

 

Maggie grimaces as she crouches down next to the body, gingerly turning its head with a gloved hand.

“Seth Gray, male, alien, former employee of LutherCorp,” she says as Tony writes it down while standing over her. “Shot in the stomach and most likely bled out. Point blank range going by the blood spatter patterns. He knew his killer.”

They arrived about half an hour ago with a warrant, breaking down the door when no one answered—too late, in Seth Gray’s very dead opinion.

Tony grimaces as he jots it down.

“Could’ve been his original contractor. Are we sure this is the guy who killed Stratford?”

Maggie nods, standing up and snapping off her gloves. “Can’t be sure until the autopsy report confirms he’s a Venati, but it looks like it.”

“Jesus.” Tony shakes his head. “How do you even prosecute based on alien glamours?”

Maggie shrugs. “We’re gonna have to figure it out.”

Tony finishes writing and stashes his pen in his pocket, tucking his report under his arm. “What do you make of the writing?” He says, nodding towards the body’s hand and the big letters written in blood: “LE”. A CSU agent steps over the body, passing by Maggie to start taking pictures of the scene.

“Could be another attempt at screwing over Lena Luthor. Maybe his employer came over to tie up a loose end and have another go when things were too quiet after Stratford’s murder?”

Tony crosses his arms, sighing. The agent’s camera clicks in the background. “We’ll have to keep a tight lid on this until we figure it out.” He sighs, then frowns. “Do we have any connections between the victim and Maxwell Lord?”

Maggie shakes her head. “Not yet, but we’re working on it.”

“Christ.” Tony scowls. “Two guys dead over a business dispute. I hate corporates.” He hears a crunch and looks over, squinting.

“Hey, you.”

The CSU agent looks up at him, blinking.

“Yes, detective?”

“You’re stepping in evidence, idiot,” Tony growls, pointing at his feet where he’s crumpling a fallen envelope under his feet. He jumps to the side, balancing carefully.

“Sorry, sorry detective. Didn’t notice.”

Maggie frowns, stepping closer to him.

“What’s your name, Agent?”

He looks back and forth between Tony and Maggie, swallowing loudly. “Uhm. John, detectives. John Markus.”

Maggie puts her hands on her hips, stepping closer. “Funny, Valerie didn’t say she had a new guy on her squad. Can you show me your ID?”

He gives Maggie one panicked look before huddling his camera close to his chest and bolting, jumping out the window onto the fire escape.

“Hey!” Tony jumps into action after him, drawing his gun. “Stop right there!”

Tony follows through the window and Maggie runs inwards instead, tackling the door to the stairway and jumping down two steps at a time to hopefully cut him off outside.

“All units alert, suspect on the run on Broadway and 20th,” she rattles off into her radio, drawing her gun, trying to ignore the strained ache in her ankles. “Brown-haired white male, dressed like a CSU unit and holding a black DSLR.” She jumps the final step to the main floor, sprinting out the hallway onto the street—the suspect runs out of the alleyway, and goes pale as he spots her.

“Freeze!” she yells, training her gun on him, but he only twitches and runs farther down the street.

 _“Shit.”_ She lowers her gun and starts running after him, switching on her radio. Tony sprints out of the alleyway and falls into step next to her.

“Suspect is running south down 20th avenue, requesting backup!”

“I’ll cut him off in the next alley!” Tony shouts, breaking off into a sidestreet. Maggie nods and runs as fast as she can, pushing her limbs to the limits—she rushes forward on a burst of triumph when the suspect darts into the alley.

The sense of victory is short lived. A shot rings out, and when she rounds the corner, Tony’s on the ground clutching his bleeding leg while a black van drives away at on the street at the other end.

“Tony!” She runs forward and nearly scrapes her knees falling next to him, looking him over. _“Tony, are you okay—“_

 _“I’m fine, he only got me in the leg,”_ he coughs as Maggie rips off her jacket to press into the bullethole. _“Did you get the license plate?”_

She shakes her head.

“ _Dammit.”_

 _“Just relax, ok, Tony?”_ She reaches for her radio with one hand, pushing down on the bleeding with the other. “Officer down on 20th and Madison, we need paramedics—“

“Call your FBI girl too,” he groans, lying back. “If that photo gets out, it’s game over for Lena Luthor.”

* * *

 

By the time Kara flies in through her apartment window, it’s already too late. The headlines are on every news website, with large, garish titles: “ **Lena Luthor Guns Down an Alien?** ” they say. “ **Another Luthor Strikes Again** ,” they say, almost shouting over that same photo of a man who’s died in the middle of spelling out her name in blood. All the work she’s done to try and get away from her brother, all the effort she’s put into helping people, trying to be accepted, to fix her birthright—down the drain with two letters in red.

“Lena, I—“ Lena hears the superhero step closer. “What are you doing?”

Lena snorts, shoving another shirt into the suitcase. “Packing, as you can see.”

Kara takes another step. “ _Why?_ Where are you going?”

“Back to my apartment,” she snaps. “I appreciate your help, but I think I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

Kara steps into her space and grabs her arms, turning around—she lets go when Lena flinches.

“Lena,” she whispers, and Lena musters up everything she has to not waver at the hurt in Kara’s eyes. “You’re always welcome here.”

“I’ve hardly earned that, don’t you think?” Lena smirks, voice edged to cut, turning away to collect her things from the bathroom. “Haven’t you heard? I’m an alien killer. Just like my family.”

“You are _not_ ,” Kara insists, following her and blocking the doorway. “Lena, I am _so_ sorry we couldn’t stop the leak, but I _promise_ you we are doing everything we can to clear it up.”

Lena zips up her makeup bag and scoffs. “Don’t bother.” She looks up at Kara with a scathing glare. “I think it’s best if we terminate any affiliations with each other now.”

Kara looks like she’s been physically _hit_ —her knees buckle a little, she stumbles as her mouth falls open and tears start gathering in her eyes. Lena digs her nails into the leather of her bag, steeling every muscle in her body.

This is for the best. She ruins everything she touches. And Kara is too good to be ruined.

“Lena,” she whispers, trembling. Lena swears she sees the doorframe splinter around Kara’s grip. “What—you’re not—you _can’t_.”

“You’ll find that I can, and I will.” She walks up to Kara and waits. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Supergirl. Or do you plan to hold me prisoner?”

It’s not fair, it’s cruel, Lena hates herself as she watches Kara nearly rip out her doorframe while jerking her arm away to clear Lena’s path, because Kara would never ever do anything Lena didn’t want her to do, she would never abuse her strength to keep Lena where she doesn’t want to be, and it’s _so_ cruel, what she’s doing right now—

But she’s a Luthor. Cruelty is par for the course.

She drops the bag on top of the clothes in her suitcase, bending down to zip it up.

“Lena,” Kara whispers again, breath heaving with unformed sobs. “Why are you doing this?”

She straightens up, turns sharply, and nearly crumbles. Kara is still slumped against the bathroom door, eyes wide and watery in terror and pain—there she is, the Girl of Steel herself, breaking apart at the seams because of _Lena_.

Lena claws into her own palms until she gets a hold of herself again. She curls her mouth in a poisonous smile, laying one hand over the suitcase.

“I hardly think it needs explaining, do you?” She lets out a little laugh. “Good day, Supergirl.”

She heads for the door, biting her tongue so hard she thinks she might tear into the artery and bleed to death (a part of her hopes she will). It’s only a split second before Kara’s stumbling after her, hands reaching but not quite touching out of fear.

“Lena, baby, please, talk to me—“ her voice is rapidly devolving into sobs now— “whatever it is, we can fix it, please— _please_ don’t do this—“

“Please don’t do _what,_ Kara?” She snaps, turning around. “The most logical thing to do in this situation?”

Kara looks at her, shoulder slumping, eyes darting between hers.

“How is _this_ logical, Lena?” She whimpers, reaching for Lena’s hands but not quite getting there.

“What else is there to do? We can’t stay together.”

“Why _not_?” Kara shouts, face crumpling, jaw tensing like it does when she’s about to fire her heat vision and Lena thinks that maybe getting her face melted off is preferable to watching herself do this to Kara.

“Did you _really_ think we would work out, Kara?” she asks derisively, complete with a raised brow. “Did you really think I don’t see what you really want?”

Kara shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”

“You crave normality like a lifeline, Kara Zor-El,” she hisses, gesturing at the apartment. “You pretend to be harmless Kara Danvers, you cling onto the job you don’t need, because you just want to be normal. You want it more than anything, a normal life, a normal family, a normal job,” Lena swallows, nearly breaking. “A normal partner.”

Kara shakes her head but Lena continues on.

“Do you really think you can fool yourself, Kara? You’re never going to be happy with me. I’m going to live my life, hounded by my family and all the baggage that comes with being related to maniac criminals.” Her resolve slowly breaks, a tremble creeping into her voice. “I’m a _Luthor._ I will never be able to give you the normal life you want.”

Kara stares, breathing heavily, brows furrowing and face going from hurt to angry, and Lena thinks, _that’s more like it._ She’s familiar with anger. She’s not good enough for a graceful exit, after all.

“You think I—” Kara takes a deep breath, fists trembling at her sides. “I’m allowed to want normal, Lena—”

“I never said you weren’t—”

“No, you— You listen to me, Lena, okay?” Kara’s jaw sets and her shoulders tense as she stands to her full height again, and Lena’s reminded that she’s standing before a literal force of nature. “You wanna know why I crave normal? It’s because _my_ normal _blew up_ when I was _twelve years old!”_

Lena gasps and clenches her hands as Kara turns and walks a few steps away, running a hand through her hair, broad shoulders _shaking_ with what Lena can only assume is rage.

“Do you even know what that’s like?” Kara asks again, whirling around to face her, and her cape snaps at the motion. “To grow up, expecting to live a normal life, with a normal family, planning a normal future, and having all that taken away from you like _that?_ ” Kara snaps forcefully and Lena winces at the sharp boom. “I would have gone to guild school that next year. I was going to be a Judicer like my mother, and people always told me I’d take her position as Grand Judicer of Argos City one day. I was planning to see my _grandparents_ that weekend. We were going to watch the sunset on the hills behind the city— the city with streets that I knew by _name!_ ”

She jabs herself in the chest, hard enough that Lena wonders if she’s bruising herself. “My family was planning for my coming of age ceremony— _Rao’kar-edh,_ I hadn’t even been matched with someone by the matrix yet!” Her words are just hoarse shouts now. “I woke up that morning, expecting to live through a day just like any other, with all the normal things in my life, and _my entire world was taken from me!”_

Kara shakes with sobs, heaving like an earthquake, and Lena almost steps forward to hold her.

“So _yes_ , I crave normal, because it keeps me from being reminded every day that _my_ normal doesn’t exist anymore! I need normal, because it makes me feel less like I’ve lost everything that I was supposed to be, less like I don’t _belong!_ ” She takes a shuddering breath and steps forward. “But if normal was all I wanted, I would never have come out as Supergirl. If _normal_ was all I wanted, I would have kept my head down and lived my life but I didn’t, because being Supergirl— helping people— is part of who I _am.”_ She’s in Lena’s space now, voice quieting, blue eyes taking on a quiet furor. “And loving you is part of who I am.”

Lena’s world comes to a standstill. She chokes on her own thoughts, trying to string herself back together because those words are the last things she expected to hear tonight, and her bones shake because it’s not possible, her head rattles with denial while her heart pounds against her ribcage, screaming, as if begging to be let out.

“You push people away because you don’t believe you deserve to be happy and you need proof when someone tries to tell you they want you,” Kara says, standing resolutely, not a hint of doubt for Lena to find in her eyes. “So here’s your _damn_ proof, Lena Luthor. I love you.”

Silence falls upon them like crows on a finished battlefield. Lena just stands there, mouth open, lungs grinding like rusted gears trying to choke out words that don’t even make it past the pounding of her heart— part of her is too busy searching through Kara’s face to find some sort of wavering, some sort of slip to let her know that it’s not real, but Kara just stands there. Solid. Honest. _Real._

And for the love of god Lena Luthor can’t say it back.

Kara’s phone rings, and she tears herself away with a sigh to answer.

“Alex.” She waits. “Yeah. I’ll be there.” She hangs up and turns back to Lena, tired. “I have to go.”

(Lena has the gall to be hurt by the resignation in Kara’s voice.)

There’s a beat where Kara stands there, waiting for some sort of response, giving Lena another chance— and she tries, she does, she squeezes her eyes shut and tries to force the words to form in her mouth at the very least— but when she looks up with a surge of bravery, Kara is already gone.

* * *

 

_“Really, Kara?!” James shouts, fist coming down on the balcony railing. “Why her? She’s Lex Luthor’s sister, what don’t you get about that?”_

_“Please,” Kara begs, stepping forward. “Please don’t yell, James, I can’t— I can’t take you being disappointed—”_

_“Why does_ my _opinion suddenly matter now?”_

_“Because I still love you!”_

_There’s a deadly quiet. James shakes, hand gripping the railing so hard Kara’s afraid he’ll start bleeding, glaring so fiercely that she takes a step back—_

_“You,” he laughs, the mirthless, breathless, disbelieving kind. “You don’t get to say that, Kara, you were the one who ended things!”_

_“I know,” she cries, hugging herself, feeling so small in front of his anger, in front of his features— his beautiful eyes, his lips that raise in that perfect smile, the little lines that form when he laughs— now contorted in anger, anger at_ her. _“I know, and I’m so sorry— I’m so sorry I hurt you, you deserved so much better.”_

_“Is that why you left?” He hisses. “Because you made the decision for me that I didn’t deserve you?”_

_“No, James, it wasn’t— I ruined everything, okay?” She reaches for him, hands hovering just far enough from him. “I ruined it.”_

_He turns away from her, gripping his head, and she can hear his lungs strain with heaving breaths. She remembers the night they talked on this very same balcony, when it seemed like they would step away gracefully as friends and things would be fine— the night she wasn’t completely honest with him, and she knows that this has been coming for a while now._

_“Why, Kara?” He whispers the question she’s been dreading since the day she broke things off._

_“I pined after you for so long, I thought things would be perfect when we finally were together,” she starts, telling herself, commanding herself to be brave, because she owes him this. “But they weren’t. Because I love you— I really do, James, I love everything about you, how good you are, how you’re always fighting for the right thing— but I didn’t want you for you.” She clasps her hands together, shaking so hard she’s afraid she’s going to break something. “I wanted what you had with Lucy. I wanted a normal relationship.”_

_He turns back to her, and there’s so much hurt in the downturn of his mouth, Kara wants to run but she plants her feet and continues. “I expected normal nights and normal dates and for everything to just fall into place when I was with you— but then it didn’t. And I…”_

_“And you were disappointed,” he finishes for her, hands falling to his sides in defeat. “I didn’t live up to your expectations.”_

_“No, James, please— please don’t ever think you weren’t enough, it was_ me,” _Kara pleads. “I ruined it. I shouldn’t have built up those expectations like that, it wasn’t fair to you, at all. I’m so sorry, I don’t know how to tell you how sorry I am.”_

_He doesn’t say anything, just looking out at the skyline, looking almost… lost. She waits, watching as he claps both his hands down on the railing and scoffs._

_“Leave, Kara.”_

_She feels like she’s been speared through. “James—”_

_“Kara, I want to be alone,” he says, closing his eyes. “Please. Just go.”_

_And she does. She feels like she shouldn’t, but then she feels like she’s wasted enough of his time, so she gets out of there as fast as she can without using superspeed and locks herself in her office, head buried in her arms. He’s beautiful, he’s so good, and gentle, and warm, and he has been there for her without fail— and she’s done nothing but hurt him. The thought curls itself around her heart like barbed wire, piercing into her with every beat._

_They don’t talk for two weeks. He doesn’t look at her when they pass by each other at work, and Kara tries to take it in stride. She hurt him. She deserves whatever anger he has. He deserves whatever space he needs, and more._

_She’s nothing short of shellshocked when he comes by at the start of the third week since their fight, her favourite coffee in hand and a small, tired smile on his face. He’s not done being angry, he’s not done hurting, but there’s something rested about him, something grounded, as if he’s had the time to lay the foundations of healing. As if he knows himself more now. As if Kara has a chance of working to earn his forgiveness. As if things aren’t completely broken._

_“Does she make you happy?” He asks, with sad but calm eyes._

_She nods shakily, grateful, fearful, hopeful._

_“She makes me feel like me.”_

* * *

When Kara climbs back into her apartment, Lena’s curled up asleep on the couch, still in her clothes. Kara kneels in front of her and tucks away a stray hair, feeling almost grateful— she knows how much Lena must have wanted to run away. How much it must have taken her to stay in Kara’s apartment, waiting for her to get back.

Lena blinks sleepily, then snaps up.

“Kara—”

“Shh,” Kara murmurs, running a hand through Lena’s hair. “It’s late. I’m going to take us to bed, is that okay?”

Lena hesitates and doesn’t look at her. For a moment, Kara thinks she’s going to say no, and leave, but then she eases into Kara’s touch and nods shyly and Kara’s heart soars with pride. Because she knows how Lena gets after fights, how she feels like she doesn’t deserve comfort and love, but here she is, saying yes, being honest because she knows that’s all Kara’s ever wanted from her.

Kara tucks her arms around Lena and lifts her up gently, letting her girlfriend bury her face into her neck. She eases her into bed under the comforter, taking a second to change into pajamas herself before sliding in next to her.

Lena turns to look at her, face half hidden by the comforter— it’s adorable. Kara smiles tentatively as she reaches for Lena’s hands under the blanket.

“I’m sorry,” Lena whispers, clasping her fingers around Kara’s eagerly. “I’m sorry for trying to break up with you. I know I scared you.”

Kara nods, leaning their foreheads together. “Thank you for staying.”

Lena’s breath hitches, and Kara can hear her heart speeding up. “I’m sorry I couldn’t—”

She trips over her words and Kara understands after a moment.

“Don’t worry, Lena,” she whispers.

“But—”

“I meant what I said,” she murmurs, closing her eyes. “I love you. But you don’t have to say it back. I don’t expect anything from you— I won’t ask for things you’re not ready to give.”

Lena shakes her head.

“No, I want— I need you to understand, Kara. No one has ever said that to me and meant it.”

Kara wouldn’t have heard the little broken whispers if not for her superhearing. Lena’s heart hammers in fear, and Kara draws her arms around her frame, wishing she knew how to reassure Lena.

“Whenever my mom said it, it was always a weapon,” Lena continues, muffled against Kara’s collarbone. She fists her hands in Kara’s shirt. “And I’ve— I’ve never said it to anyone.”

“Never?”

Lena shakes her head. Kara sighs and hugs her tighter.

“Baby, you don’t have to—”

“But I want to,” Lena confesses quietly, ever so quietly. “I just— I keep trying and— I don’t know how.”

Kara kisses the side of her head. “Then you don’t have to, Lena.”

She shakes her head again. “But I _want_ to.”

“Then you will, when you’re ready,” Kara says, rubbing circles into Lena’s back. “And not a second before.”

Lena tugs her closer and Kara can feel her shaking with subdued sobs.

“Can I kiss you?”

Lena nods against her shirt, and lets herself be nudged up, eyes shut as Kara’s lips close around hers.

Kara hums when she pulls away.

“What am I going to do now?” she whimpers. Kara presses a few more kisses _,_ running her fingers up and down Lena’s spine.

“Sleep,” she whispers, lips brushing against Lena’s. “For now. I’ll protect you.”

She waits, counting the moments between Lena’s breaths until they’re long and measured, finally calm against Kara’s cheek. Kara kisses her forehead before tucking her face against her hair, sighing.

“ _Nim kryp w’voi, zhao’te. Zhao’dh w’rrip.”_

* * *

 

“Impressive, Lex,” Lord laughs into his phone. “One photo and her empire crumbles around her.”

Lex is less responsive. “And now it’s your turn to do your part.”

“Impatient. You don’t change.” He sighs. “It’ll happen tomorrow morning. Be ready for the signal.”

He hangs up and tosses the burner phone into the trash, waving his assistant closer.

“Make the preparations.”

“But sir,” his assistant hesitates. “Are we really helping Lex Luthor escape?”

“God, no,” he laughs, taking a sip of his bourbon. “I’m not in the business of letting maniacs go, deal or not. I’m just going to detain him and then drag him back. A sort of PR move, if you will, striking while Lena Luthor is down.”

“I… see. I’ll start now, then, Mr. Lord.”

“See to it,” he says lazily, waving the assistant off as he stares off into the starry night cityscape. He chuckles to himself again before draining his glass.

“Sorry, Little Luthor. It’s just business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it, i finally reached the scene that I've been building up to this entire time, my baby Kara yelling, getting to be angry like she deserves the space to, being sad... my babies......
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and the encouragement, guys! your comments are always so lovely and I really, really don't mind rambling ones- when i look at my notifications and see a long comment i jolt with glee, i swear. especially when it's highlighting parts you liked, how it made you feel- it really gives me a better understanding of what you guys are getting out of this and it makes me so happy that this is doing something for you.
> 
> I'm really glad you guys liked my Lois, also! I know she's characterized as a little gentler, but I figured I might as well have some fun- a terribly blunt older sister suits Lucy. 
> 
> I hope you guys liked the kryptonian- i ripped my hair out trying to translate phrases, teaching myself a verb-subject-object language was *not* easy lmao. also the guy who invented it didn't include vulgarity in the dictionary so I had to invent swearwords myself, unbelievable.
> 
> "Nim kryp w'voi" means "we will be fine" and "zhao'dh w'rrip" means "I love you"
> 
> My schoolwork is getting a bit more intense, so i might not be able to update weekly from here on out, I'm sorry! I'll try to do my best since I'm dead set on finishing this series.
> 
> edit: the kryptoniuo that im using is from kryptonian.info ! this cool guy named Doyle compiled a complete grammar for it, but he hasn't updated it since 2013 so I'm doing my best to fill in the gaps with what I remember from 3 years of college linguistics- come yell about it with me at wtfoctagon.tumblr.com


	5. where they're at the eye of the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a lull. Clark finally pays a visit, but for the wrong reasons. Alex makes a few new discoveries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is such a mess tbh im sorry?? i have a lot of homework this weekend but i still wanted to push something out so here's a bit of a shorter and... less cohesive update

_The first two months after Kara joins the Danvers, Alex lets her into her room for the first time._

_(She was angry, at first. Suddenly having a new member of the family with no warning, and no say. And she’s still kind of angry at school, because Kara is just so_ weird _and none of Alex’s friends really want to hang around anymore because she’s so busy taking care of her abnormal adoptive sister all the time, but at home it’s a bit… easier. Or harder, depending on how Alex looks at it. It’s harder to stay mad at Kara when the alien is shivering in her bed, crying from nightmares of losing her entire family. It’s easier to slide in next to her and sing her to sleep when there aren’t staring eyes and whispers behind their backs.)_

_Kara knocks on the door so quietly Alex almost doesn’t hear it. The little blonde girl is staring at her feet when Alex opens the door, hugging herself and biting her lip._

_“Hi.”_

_Alex leans against her doorframe._

_“Hey. What’s up?”_

_Kara shuffles her feet again and looks up at her._

_“Can I borrow your headphones again?”_

_The noise-cancelling ones Alex got for her 13th birthday—she’s been tossing them at Kara everytime the alien loses focus and can’t block out all the sounds around her._

_(It’s too loud, she cries sometimes, holding her head so hard in the girl’s bathroom at school while Alex tries to get her to calm down. It’s too loud, it’s too much.)_

_Usually she disappears into her room to get them, pushes them into Kara’s arms, and closes her door again, but this time she opens her door wider and just goes back to her desk._

_“They’re on my bed,” she says, leaning back over her textbook. She doesn’t hear anything for a few seconds, and when she looks back Kara is still standing in the doorway, arms wrapped around herself, eyes wide._

_“You can come in,” she grumbles, and that finally seems to kick Kara into action. Not very robustly, though. She pads into the room so softly, arms held tightly to her sides, as if she’s afraid of breaking anything she touches—_

_Which she_ is _, Alex realizes. It’s a bit sad, really. This little girl who really seems like she’d rather die than hurt someone is the one with superstrength._

_Kara takes the headphones gently and Alex glances at her again._

_“You can stay in here if you want,” she says, looking away when Kara gapes at her. “I have a P!nk CD in there.”_

_The bed creaks as Kara sits down on it. Alex peers up at her out the corner of her eyes to see her running her fingers over the walkman, just barely touching it—she’s so careful about everyone else’s belongings to the point that Alex gets a little irritated every time she has to give Kara permission to touch something._

_She feels a little horrible about herself at the thought._

_“This… plays music?”_

_Kara turns it to the side to inspect the buttons. For an alien, she’s a quick study—a few attempts at talking to machines went by, but otherwise she seems to have realizes that most things require actual pushing of buttons and dials._

_“Yeah.” Alex rests her chin in her palm. “I got it for my bat mitzvah.”_

_Kara tilts her head, like when Julia Hartman’s golden lab does when he’s confused._

_“What’s a bat… bat mitz….?”_

_“Bat mitzvah.” Alex drums her fingers against the thick pages of her book. “Jewish girls have a party the day after our 12th birthday to celebrate being an adult. But not like, really an adult.”_

_“Like a coming of age ceremony,” Kara fills in for her, laying the walkman flat on her lap. “We have ours on our thirteenth nameday.”_

_Alex feels a lump in her throat._

_“You’re… Twelve, right?”_

_Kara pauses for forever. “My thirteenth nameday was three days after…”_

_Her silence says everything. Alex goes to sit down on the bed beside her, not even sure what to say but feeling like… well. She has to say something, right? Kara looks like she’s going to cry_ again _and Alex feels horrible for feeling tired of how often Kara cries._

_It’s not like her whole planet blew up._

_Kara speaks again before she can flounder. “My grandparents were going to get on a train to visit from Kandor. I haven’t… hadn’t seen them in two years.”_

_The way she switches to past tense aches like a familiar ghost in Alex’s chest._

_“I never met my grandfather.” She doesn’t know why she just said that. Kara looks up at her with real interest anyway._

_“What happened?”_

_“He, um,” Alex taps her feet a little bit. “Died while my grandma was pregnant with mom. Well. Disappeared. Sort of. They were going to leave Poland together but they lost each other at the train station.”_

_“Poland is…”_

_“A country,” Alex says. Kara reaches over to hold her hand._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_Alex nearly laughs. There they are, talking about Kara’s dead planet and she’s sorry about someone neither of them have met. The little scar between Kara’s eyebrows crinkle with her frown and Alex squeezes her hand._

_“Thanks. Grandma used to talk a lot about him and what life was like before…”_

_(Grandma bustles over the kitchen, waving her parents off with a ladle as she chastises them in a thick accent._

_“It doesn’t matter how long a car ride it was, you should have fed her hours ago, what were you thinking…”_

_It feels so strange, how afraid she is of Alex feeling even a little bit hungry. It was only a few hours, and only because she wanted to keep going instead of stopping for food. She doesn’t understand until much later, but even then, a part of herself settles heavily as if she’s always known. Mourning ghosts she has never met, but always felt.)_

_“Before…?”_

_The human girl shrinks a bit at the prodding, letting out a sigh._

_“I’ll tell you about it later.”_

_And Kara stares only for a moment before nodding, as careful about feelings as she is about belongings._

_“Will you tell me about your bat mitz… mitzvah?” she stumbles over the word but beams when Alex nods in confirmation._

_“It was just a big party,” Alex shrugs before crinkling her nose. “I had to wear a dress.”_

_Kara giggles, swinging her little feet lightly._

_“What colour was it?”_

* * *

“So I have to get a… yellow dress for the first naming ceremony?”

Kara nods, holding up her phone with her shoulder as she juggles the takeout in her hands. She’s gotten up bright and early for her patrols, leaving a small note for Lena to wake up to, and now she’s heading back with some breakfast. James has given her a few days off work so she’s free to take care of Lena after the fiasco and Lois.

“Yes, preferably a pale yellow?” She says, shuffling her and Lena’s breakfast in her hands. “I mean, I think I can get it for you if you want, but—”

“No, it’s fine, just a little puzzled,” Lois laughs on the other end. “I haven’t managed to get through the entire document you sent.”

“Take your time,” Kara laughs. “I know it’s a lot. I’m gonna walk you through it, so don’t worry.”

“I can do fine, kiddo, there’s no need to _baby_ me,” Lois says, taking a moment to laugh at her own joke. Kara rolls her eyes.

“Well just let me know if you have any—” she freezes on the block as she hears a familiar heartbeat pound a bit too hard for comfort. “Gotta go, call you back,” she rattles off before hanging up and running into an alley, flying up towards her apartment.

The sight she finds feels like ice cold kryptonite in her veins. Lena has her back pressed up against the fridge, shaking like a leaf and trying to keep as much of her dignity as possible while Superman himself closes in on her.

“Mark my words, Luthor, I will find out what you’ve done and I _will—”_

“ _Kal!”_ Kara bellows.

Clark looks back at her, startled. “Kara,” he breathes, “you’re—”

She doesn’t let him finish, zipping between him and Lena hard enough to shove him back. She reaches an arm back to shield her girlfriend, teeth gnashing at the way Lena grabs onto the back of her cape with shaking hands.

“Kal-El,” she snarls. “ _What. are. you. doing.”_

He takes a moment to steady himself, before staring at her, bewildered. “Kara, what—” he stares at the way Kara allows Lena to press into her back. “What are _you_ doing?” He steps forward. “Did you hear about what she did—”

“She hasn’t done _anything_ ,” Kara says. She can still hear Lena’s heart pounding away and she can only imagine what Clark’s threatened before she got there and it makes her so, _so_ angry.

“She _murdered_ someone, Kara,” he insists.

“She _didn’t._ The police—”

“Can be fooled!” He sweeps his hands out in exasperation and Lena flinches behind Kara. “Lex did it more than once—”

“She is not her brother!” She can feel Lena shaking behind her. Heat pools in her eyes and she’s sure that she’ll fire off her heat vision if she’s not too careful.

“Kara, _listen to me_ , I didn’t want to believe Lex was like Lillian Luthor either,” he says, like he’s explaining something to a child, and Kara gnashes her teeth because _how dare he bring up Lillian Luthor in front of Lena_. “But family is stronger than you think.”

The words slam in Kara’s chest harder than she’s prepared for.

“Is that why you left me with the Danvers, Kal? Because family is so strong?”

He recoils, and she knows it’s a low blow—she knows it’s cruel, but she doesn’t care. She lets all of her pent up anger—all the things she told herself she wouldn’t say bubble to the surface, because how dare he, how _dare_ he—

“I was young,” he says. “I couldn’t—”

“Visit at all for twelve years?” She takes a step forward, fists clenching. “Help me figure out my powers instead of leaving me by myself?”

He clamps his mouth shut, jaw clenching, and when Kara sees Jor-El in the set of his brows and Lara in the color of his eyes like she usually does, she feels _furious. He_ is the legacy of the House of El. She was expected to give up her life taking care of him, and he _left_ her. He left her with these humans who never wanted her, he left her to be confused and scared and alone.

“You stand there, you have the gall to accuse Lena of murder because you believe in family, and you haven’t come to see your unborn child _once,”_ she hisses, “When are you going to stop running?”

“I am not running—”

“But you are!” her voice booms through her apartment. “You ran from me, you’re running from your child, you run from anything Kryptonian because you are so afraid of being anything but _human.”_ She shakes her head. “But you’re not. _We’re_ not. And we never will be.”

She knows it’s everything he never wanted to hear. But that’s the lasting difference between them—she is Kara Zor-El, forced to become Kara Danvers, and he is Clark Kent stepping into the mantle of Kal-El.

He stumbles—one last, lost look is all she gets before he flies out of her window.

* * *

_“Well, this is kind of depressing.”_

_Lena leans against the door and Lex shoots her a glare before going back to his scotch. She sighs and pushes off to walk to his desk, light washing over them as the fireworks from the parade keep on._

_“Lex. What are you doing in here?”_

_He lifts his glass a little, the ice clinking. “Drinking, as you can see.”_

_She crosses her arms. “You should be celebrating.”_

_He scoffs. “Celebrating what? That I created the technology to save Metropolis from a natural disaster, and Superman is getting the credit because he was the one to press the button in public?”_

_“Since when did credit matter so much to you? You saved lives. You don’t need some medal to prove that.”_

_“Maybe it would just be nice,” he says, putting down his glass. “To be appreciated for the work I do. Superman isn’t—he isn’t even a proper US citizen!” He turns away from the window and scowls. “He’s an alien. He doesn’t even qualify to receive a medal of valour.”_

_“He saves people too, Lex,” Lena admonishes, leaning against his desk. “Don’t tell me you’re actually listening to mom now—”_

_“At least mom’s proud of me for what I do,” he snarls, slamming his fist against the wall. “I save the entirety of Metropolis, and my best friend doesn’t even bother to so much as text me while my sister comes to lecture me.”_

_“Lex,” she pleads. “You know I’m always proud of you.”_

_He looks at her then, sighing, looking so tired and defeated._

_“Yeah,” he says, pocketing his hands. His suit creases and casts sharp shadows all over him. “Yeah, I know.”_

_“Now come on. You let off everyone early today, you should take a break and celebrate too.”_

_He shakes his head and takes a seat at his desk._

_“I think I’ll pass. You have fun.”_

_She rolls her eyes._

_“Come on. Loosen up. I haven’t seen you have fun since we bet on how long it would take Browning to notice his fly was open.”_

_That finally gets a small smile out of him, but he only powers up his laptop before shaking his head again._

_“I’m not feeling up to it right now, Leelee. Maybe I’ll catch up with you later?”_

_She crosses her arms and raises a brow. He laughs._

_“I promise not to stay here past eleven,” he says, laying a hand over his heart for good measure._

_She points at him as she turns for the door._

_“I’m holding you to that, Alexander Joseph Luthor.”_

_“Ooh, full-named, how scary,” he shoots back. She laughs and makes for the door._

_“Hey, Leelee.”_

_She turns, hand on the doorknob. “Yeah?”_

_He grimaces. “Sorry I snapped at you.”_

_She just smiles at him. “I’ve been your sister for almost twenty years now, Lex. I think I can handle a little snap.”_

* * *

Lena's determined to have a better day than her morning has been. Well. Relatively better; she’s not sure things can go on any side of actually _good_ after what’s happened last night. She spends most of the day after Superman’s… ‘visit’ emailing back and forth between a team of people. She’s a little shaken up from the encounter, and a little afraid to be alone in Kara’s apartment, but she’s still the CEO of L-Corp and responsible for more lives than her own.

It’s just a continuation of the work that started the moment news got out. She spent most of last night emailing back and forth between ten million people while waiting for Kara to get back, trying to salvage the situation before inevitably passing out from exhaustion.

It’s a disaster. Stocks are falling, investors are pulling out, members of the board are already straggling for their lifelines out of the company but somehow… it’s not as bad as the worst case scenario. The company is just bobbing their head above drowning. Enough investors have been convinced into waiting to see how things pan out instead of throwing in the towel.

Mostly because of Jess. And Alice and Pandora from accounting, Jaime from IT, Kyra and Becca from PR, and many more: evidently, Jess came off of vacation to gather a small team last night and delivered a swift response to the crisis. Numbers and projections being crunched, cyber-security being revamped, press releases and emails being fired off.

Lena commits all the names to heart. Loyalty isn’t something she counts on from anyone except maybe Jess. She writes a succinct email naming Jess as acting CEO and her decision to take some distance from L-Corp to take the public pressure off of them until things blow over, cc’ing all of them.

Thank you all; I can’t imagine getting through this without you, she adds at the bottom. The truth of it washes over her as she closes her laptop and starts preparing herself some coffee. She wouldn’t be here without Jess. Her employees. _Kara._

El marayah, she thinks to herself. Stronger together. It feels strange, to rely on people. Terrifying. But last night has made it clearer than ever to her: she doesn’t want to run just because she doesn’t know how to stay.

The reply comes a few minutes later.

_About time you took a vacation, Miss Luthor._

She starts when the door opens and slams shut, bracing herself against the countertop when she sees that it’s none other than Alex Danvers, shuffling out of her boots with a… coffee tray and box in hand?

(Her heart starts hammering in her chest because she is so not ready to have another face-off with another disapproving member of Kara’s family. The bruise blossoming on her shoulder tells her to run, but she plants her feet. For Kara. Stay for Kara.)

Alex looks up at her, giving a sort of half-smirk as she finishes kicking off her boots.

“Hey. I hope you haven’t had lunch yet, I brought some snacks from Noonan’s.”

Lena understands each of those words individually, and not directed at her. She blinks like a gaping goldfish until Alex comes all the way up to the kitchen island and sets her cargo down. Lena finally processes that there are three cups tucked into the tray.

“I, um, haven’t. Thank you.” Lena hesitantly steps forward to the edge of the island, palms resting uneasy on the wood. She’s very self conscious of Kara’s pajamas being on her person.

Alex gives her a crinkly-eyed smile that she recognizes from Kara. “You’re welcome,” she says, tugging out one of the paper cups to set it in front of Lena. “Is Kara still out?”

Lena nods, carefully wrapping her hands around the coffee. “She’s checking on Lois.”

Alex takes an impressive swig from her own before flipping the box open.

“Pro-tip: try to get as many as you can while you can. doughnut teleport into Kara’s stomach on sight,” Alex says, nabbing a chocolate-covered one for herself.

Lena reels a little from the easygoing joke.

“Th-thank you.” She swallows, trying to get a hold of her stuttering. “That’s very kind of you.”

The overly formal phrasing slips from her before she can catch it and she schools her embarrassment as Alex stops chewing and looks up at her. The agent almost looks like she might roll her eyes, but she just finishes her mouthful and takes another sip of coffee.

“Kara told me about Superman coming over, so I figured you could use a coffee,” Alex says, scooting onto one of the stools. “And I wanted to apologize.”

Alex Danvers just dives into the topic like it’s nothing and when Lena looks up she’s staring so intently that Lena wonders if Kara developed heat vision _after_ being adopted by the Danvers.

“It’s quite alright,” Lena says, hands squirming a little around her cup. “It’s not like you don’t have any reason to be mistrustful.”

“But I don’t.” Alex says it so… conclusively, definitively, Lena almost jumps a little. “You’ve done nothing but try to help since you came to National City. So,” Alex says, tucking her chin a little the way that Kara does too, “I’m sorry.”

Lena swallows and shakes her head. “She’s your sister. Considering my family history I’d be surprised if you weren’t worried about her.”

Alex smiles and squints, canting her head a little as she hums. “Considering what you’ve done, I think it’s safe to say you’re not too likely to repeat family history,” she laughs. “And yeah, she’s my sister. I love her. That means I should trust her just as much as I worry about her.”

Alex takes another bite of her doughnut, so ready to concede her previous judgment, so headstrong. She puts Kara before her own prejudices. The words “I love you” come so easily to her, like just a throwaway, given fact in a conversation, and Lena swallows a lump in her throat.

“Well, Agent Danvers,” Lena says, taking a deep breath and trying for a charming smile. “I’m grateful for the benefit of the doubt.”

Alex smirks right back. “Don’t get too comfy, Luthor. I’ve got my eyes on you.”

There’s no actual bite to her threat, nothing like how Superman snarled it to her earlier, just good-natured teasing, and Lena… She’s doing her best to wrap her head around it.

Alex’s phone goes off and she dusts her fingers quickly before checking the screen.

“Sorry, gotta take this,” she hops off the stool quickly and Lena nods as Alex walks a bit farther into the living room, back turned. She talks at a low volume, listening for a few moments as she shifts her weight and puts her hand on her hip. Lena tries to place where she’s seen that before when she realizes that it’s exactly like the way Supergirl poses, except where Kara puts forward valor and formality, Alex Danvers just eases into the confident pose like second nature.

Lena realizes, then, that maybe she’s been under a bit of a misconception. She always thought that Alex taught Kara how to be human, how to blend in, how to be normal, how to be a Danvers. Now it seems more that Supergirl is the result of the unbridled strength and passion in Kara taking the form as close to Alex Danvers as she could get.

Alex hangs up the phone and turns to Lena, lips pursed.

“Sorry about that. It’s just an update from the NCPD.”

Lena nods. “Thank you for publishing a report so quickly last night,” she says. “The police officially claiming my innocence helped a lot with damage control with L-Corp last night.”

“Wasn’t my doing, but,” Alex walks over and taps her knuckles on the wooden countertop, offering a smile. “I’ll pass it along later.”

* * *

 

“You know, you could have specified that you wanted help picking up your partner’s kid,” Alex quips, “I nearly had a heart attack.”

Maggie laughs from the passenger seat.

“Do I look like I’d have kids, Danvers?”

Ale smirks at her, casting a quick glance. “That’s why I nearly had a heart attack. You are nowhere near qualified to take care of a child.”

Maggie slaps her arm. “Speak for yourself, you human disaster,” she chortles.

“I’m driving, be careful,” Alex laughs, blindly swiping at her girlfriend without looking away from the road. Maggie grabs her hand and plants a kiss in her knuckles before throwing it back at her.

Alex coughs. Maggie smirks at her blush.

“Parental qualification aside,” she says, leaning back in her seat. “Thanks for this, Danvers. I couldn’t really pick her up in a police cruiser.”

“Anytime. How’s Ramirez?”

“Fine; the bullet went clean through without hitting anything important, but he’s still getting held up. The guy’s getting old so they wanna monitor him to make sure the shock didn’t go to his heart.” She points at her own chest. “They shouldn’t bother though. If he has enough energy to text me nonstop about Kris, he’s good enough to be discharged.”

Alex chuckles. “You two seem close.”

“Yeah. Told you, he’s not a bad guy, just not so fond of the Luthors.” Maggie sighs. “Kris is an alien.”

Alex glances at her.

“You said they’re from Metropolis?”

Maggie nods. “Her parents were killed in a bombing. Official records say that Lex Luthor wasn’t responsible, but…” her mouth twists as she frowns and she doesn’t have to finish that sentence.

Alex nods. “I guess that’s why he was so prickly at the crime scene.”

Maggie snorts. “He can be an ass; I don’t blame you for being pissed off at him. Hell, he pissed me off when we met.”

“Really? why?”

“I mean—I didn’t like myself too much back then,” Maggie snorts. Alex glances over to see her girlfriend staring out the window, chin pressed into her palm. There’s a long pause, and Alex deliberates between pressing or changing the subject—she knows Maggie isn’t too keen on deeper discussions about herself.

“Growing up in a white town I tried to be as white as possible,” Maggie continues, and Alex’s grip on the wheel tightens. “Try to be less of a target, be the farthest thing from what everyone expected me to be. Then I’d come home and my dad would get mad at me for being ashamed of who I was. I couldn’t win.”

It clicks together, a little bit. Alex isn’t stupid—she’s seen her share of stereotypes on television to know what kind of treatment Maggie might have gotten in school, what kinds of things might have been said to her. She thinks of Maggie’s easygoing attitude, her avoidance of anger and passion and something sinks in her chest.

“When I met Tony I thought he’d be just like my dad,” Maggie continues. She looks so… _forlorn,_ and Alex wonders what it is that she’s remembering.

“Was he?”

Maggie shakes her head. “Nah. He really… helped me, I guess. I was mad at myself for trying not to be latina too, you know?” Alex’s chest tightens. “But he told me that I was just doing my best to survive.” Maggie smiles softly, voice dropping to a murmur. “And sometimes, surviving is the bravest thing you can do.”

Alex reaches over to hold her hand, squeezing once.

“I’m glad he’s okay.”

Maggie gives her a grateful smile.

“Me too.”

They pull up to the curb of the middle school, and Alex spots a little blonde girl kicking pebbles, all by herself.

“Is that her?”

“Yup.” Maggie rolls down her windows. “Kris! Over here!”

Alex slows the car to a stop as Kris looks up at them, marching over with her thumbs tucked neatly behind the straps of her backpack.

“Hey Mags,” Kris says as she comes up to the car.

“Hey kid.” Maggie grins. “Hop in, we’ll drive you home.”

Alex nearly laughs as the girl leans down a little to peer critically at her through the passenger side window.

“Who’s that?” The crinkling frown is adorable.

“That’s Alex.”

“Your girlfriend?”

Alex nearly chokes while Maggie laughs.

“Yup.”

Kris nods approvingly. “She’s pretty.” With the declaration she decisively opens the backseat door, planting herself inside the car. “It’s nice to meet you, Alex.”

Her tone is so formal, so polite, Alex can’t help but grin widely. She wonders if the girl has picked it up from watching her adoptive father work as a cop.

“You too, Kris.” She starts up the car.

“How was school?”

“Loud.” Kris scrunches her nose, blinking as she pulls down her seatbelt. “Cameron pulled at my ears again.”

Alex looks back at her through the rearview mirror and sees the tips of pointed ears almost poking out of long blonde hair.

“Did you tell the teacher?” Maggie’s question almost sounds rhetoric, even to Alex. She knows that it’s just lipservice to the conventions of school and parenting; telling the teacher doesn’t do anything but garner more unwanted attention.

Kris shakes her head, wringing her hands in her lap. She looks so small, tucked under a seatbelt, and Alex feels a surge of protectiveness because it looks all too familiar.

(Kara, in her first year at school, refusing to lay even a finger on her bullies for fear of losing control. Alex took up the role of wiping the floor with them, trying to take on most of the blame and attention.)

“Elbow him in the chest—aim right for the sternum,” Alex says. “That’s the solar plexus. It’ll put him right on the ground without leaving a bruise, so he can’t prove you hit him at all.”

It won’t fix everything, but it would probably make those kids think twice before trying to tug at her ears again. Alex glances again at the rearview mirror to see Kris staring at her with wide brown eyes.

“You shouldn’t advocate violence in front of a cop,” she says  disapprovingly, and Alex laughs at the delicate young voice saying such formal words.

Maggie only shrugs. “Promise not to tell Tony, and I’ll teach you how to do it myself.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly im at a bit of a loss bc i don't know what next lmao it's just a bit of a lull of character development until the final showdown with Lex, I'm trying to set things up so that all the subplots resolve nicely in the conclusion but it's a bit like setting up dominoes so it might take me a while to figure out what happens in the next chapter. 
> 
> Most likely game night and lena/winn bonding, though. 
> 
> been feeling kind of awful and it shows here so im sorry about the quality drop, but thanks for sticking it out you guys, it's not much longer now until this is all wrapped up


	6. the impossible science of the unique being

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena goes on a soul-searching road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the random deviation from standard chapter form, guys-- I'm cheating a little. This fic is supposed to be an endurance exercise for me to starting writing an actual novel, but i just couldn't handle the amount of lull i needed to justify barreling into the next action point so I muddled around until I got stuck on an idea i liked and regressed to my usual short story form. 
> 
> Well, I tried to shove as much fluff in there as possible to make sure you guys at least enjoy yourselves. I'd like to credit ProfessorSpork for the characterization of Lionel- I do have to say that a lot of this roadtrip aspect is inspired by "Her Brother's Keeper" (which you should totally go check out)
> 
> Disclaimer: i know fuck shit about science or cars if you do and notice inaccuracies please forgive me

 

 

> “And here the essential question first appeared: did I _recognize_ her? [...] I never recognized her except in fragments, which is to say that I missed her _being_ , and that therefore I missed her altogether. It was not she, and yet it was no one else.”
> 
> -Roland Barthes, _Camera Lucida: Reflections on Photography_

* * *

 

There’s a cashmere moment between sleep and waking life where her heart beats teal and her lungs sweep in honey-tinged sunlight. Familiarity nestles into the back of her neck; contentment circles around her waist. Lena wraps her hand around Kara’s and pulls it tighter around her, cocooning herself in the warmth of the morning and letting the smile tugging at he lips bloom.

“Good morning,” Kara murmurs, kissing just underneath her ear. Lena chuckles and squirms a little, ticklish, before turning around to plant a kiss on her girlfriend’s nose.

Reality returns when Supergirl’s phone rings. Kara groans as she pulls herself out of bed like a moon straining out of orbit. Lena presses a kiss to her knuckles, earning a soft smile as Kara picks up the phone and pads out to the kitchen.

Lena’s hand falls to the mattress with a soft thud. She remembers her responsibilities, her life, he remembers her company and her name and her jostled place in this world.

She burrows under the covers and remembers the moment before she remembered. The small pocket of un-reality where it was just her and Kara, where there were no names, no responsibilities, no history, no world—just warmth and familiarity, a small respite from the ever-present loneliness of her own singularity.

When the inevitable existential anxiety squeezes in her chest, she makes a decision.

Kara returns to the bedroom in her uniform, fiddling with the clasps of her cape.

“Sorry, there’s a fire downtown…”

Lena smiles and leans up to take the apologetic kiss, fingertips trailing in blonde hair.

“Go save the world, darling. I’ll be fine on my own.”

_-_

_“It’s gonna be fine, ok?”_

_Lena nods absently as Kara squeezes her hand. She puts on her best pokerface, but it’s mostly for her own benefit because she knows Kara can hear her heart trying to pass off little violent cramps in rapid succession as heartbeats. Kara just sighs and squeezes her hand again._

_“I can cancel if you need me to.”_

_Lena shakes her head._

_“No, please, not for me. It’s the first game night you’ve had in a while. This is important.”_

_Kara smiles at her._

_“You’re important.”_

_Lena laughs breathlessly and busies herself with setting out the snacks._

_“Don’t worry about me, Kara. I’m just… jumpy after…”_

_She trails off because she doesn’t know what to say. Attack is more violent and presumptive than she’s willing to make it. Encounter sounds too tame._

_Kara nods solemnly, and Lena can see the tendons in her neck tense a little._

_“Everyone knows you’re going to be here. There won’t be anymore surprises. And I won’t let anyone…”_

_Kara clenches her fists, and the thought of her coming into conflict with her family on Lena’s behalf—her family, who she draws loved ones into and holds onto like a lifeline—starts up the usual chorus: this is your fault, this is your fault. But Lena swallows and counters with her own new mantra: for Kara. Stay for Kara._

_There’s a knock at the door and Lena prays for Alex, for soft protective Alex and her laid-back girlfriend, but the night seems intent on being hard on her nerves. Their first visitors are none other than the Lane sisters._

_Lena feels like bolting again._

_“Kara!”_

_They take turns smiling and warmly hugging the blonde, and Lena smooths out her skirt (the soft one, the only balance of dressy but casual that she could find). Kara moves to close the door behind them and the spotlight turns to Lena._

_“So,” says Lois Lane, the woman she’s heard so much of but only ever seen in photos, either in Superman’s arms or as the steel spearhead of investigative journalism. Lena isn’t sure why she’s surprised that pregnancy doesn’t seem to have mellowed her out at all—The Daily Planet’s Iron Maiden crosses her arms over her crisp buttoned shirt and shifts her weight to appraise Lena._

_“You’re Luthor Junior. The new sensation in Luthor family history.”_

_She might as well have choked Lena with her own two hands. She can see Kara tense and frown before Lucy steps forward, placing a hand on one of Lena’s elbows._

_“Oh my god, shut up, Lois,” she scowls, leading Lena away to the kitchen. She flashes an apologetic, but brilliant smile. “Ignore her. She’s being rude and nosy. Journalists, am I right?” she laughs, putting the wine in her other hand on the counter. “I’m Lucy. It’s nice to finally meet you.”_

_Lena’s too stunned to speak, but Lucy seamlessly gives her an opportunity to gather herself._

_“Hey Kara,” she shouts over to the living room. Kara looks up from what seems to be a stern conversation with Lois. “Do you mind if I open this now?”_

_Kara glances at the wine before rolling her eyes and waving vaguely affirmatively. Lucy whispers a small ‘nice’ under her breath before pulling one of the drawers open to dig around for a corkscrew._

_“Hey—” she flicks her perfect hair out of her face to look up at Lena. “Can I call you Lena?”_

_“I’d much rather that,” Lena says, trying to recover from her dumbfounded stasis._

_Lucy smiles that sharp Lane smile._

_“Great. Can you get out two glasses for us, Lena? Kara hates wine and Lois can’t drink.”_

_She nods. “Of course.”_

_“I hope you don’t mind white zins,” she hears Lucy say behind her as she reaches up into the cabinets. “Rosé’s are the only kind of wine that doesn’t taste terrible to me.”_

_“No, not at all,” Lena says, carefully placing two wine glasses on the countertop. “Zinfandels are my favourite too, actually.”_

_“Really?” Lucy pops the cork and gives her an incredulous grin. “I thought they were frowned upon in fancy high society,” she teases a little. Lena laughs as she moves over for Lucy to start pouring._

_“Good thing I don’t consider myself much of a wine snob then,” she says. “Although I admit there’s a petty satisfaction to knowing all wine tastes basically the same.”_

_“You’re kidding. Even the super fancy old ones?”_

_“Blindfold a so-called connoisseur and they won’t be able to tell a corner store wine from a 1982 Bordeaux.”_

_“Well then,” Lucy says, topping off Lena’s glass without a flourish and handing it over. “Here’s to petty satisfaction. And being the more level-headed sibling.”_

_She adds that with a twinkle in her eyes and Lena feels the distinct sense of being coddled—it’s a familiar feeling, seeing the conscious effort on someone’s part to make good conversation, to get on her good side. She’s seen it with varying levels of subtlety from competitors and partners alike, and even learnt it herself from Lex and Lionel._

_But then Lucy winks at her over her wineglass and Lena is too charmed and grateful to care._

* * *

Jess drops her off at the Luthor property in the hills, the modestly big house standing relatively inconspicuously amongst other houses in the suburb. It’s a more faded blue than Lena remembers, but the innocuous white trimmings give it the same soft feeling of a kind of home.

Jess shuts the door behind herself and squints at the house, taking off her sunglasses. Lena almost laughs as her assistant rounds the car from the driver’s side, bag in hand—it’s almost a sure bet she was expecting to see a Californian mansion of some sort.

“Not as ostentatious as you imagined?”

Jess blinks and shakes her head before slipping back into impassivity.

“No, I just thought that it’s a bit of an unconventional summer house,” she says, shifting her weight. “It’s a long ways off from town.”

Lena just smiles as she looks over the two-story, normal American home complete with a double garage door.

“We have a proper beach house in Malibu,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning back against the car. “This is the house my father bought when I turned thirteen.”

Jess snorts. “A pony not lavish enough for you?”

Lena laughs out loud at that, and Jess shuffles, evidently not meaning to let that comment slip.

“I was being sent to boarding school that year,” she explains. “And with Lex starting college too, there wasn’t anything holding mom back from letting me know how… Inadequate I was.”

Jess looks over at her. “Mr. Luthor spent the summers here with you.”

Lena nods. “This is where he taught me everything I know. He always used to bring me to the LuthorCorp lab when I was little, but everything was too dangerous for me to actually touch.” She points to the garage. “He started teaching me the basics in there.”

Jess smiles a little. “I’m sure you were quite the tinkerer at thirteen.”

“I was,” Lena says, allowing herself a little puff of pride. “I was burning through college-levels engineering during my second summer, inventing some new things along the way,” she chuckles, shuffling her arms loosely. “Did you know that the Luthorcell, one of LuthorCorp’s biggest successes, was a happy accident of mine?”

Jess raises a brow. “Did that accident involve acid burns?”

Lena sniffs a little indignantly. “I was wearing gloves. Anyway, Dad pitched it to the board while I was on my way back to England. We beat out Sony on the lithium battery market by the end of that year.”

Jess frowns. “It’s officially patented as a Lionel Luthor invention.”

Lena shrugs. “I was kind of… melodramatic back then. I didn’t want credit because it was an accident, not a real breakthrough.”

Jess scoffs. “Most pivotal inventions are accidents.”

“He told me that too. And he was so determined to make me take credit one day. He said, when he writes his autobiography, he’ll tell the world his fourteen year old daughter started a revolution in battery technology.” Her grin fades as she looks down a fiddles with her ring. “I guess he never got to.”

And her assistant doesn’t try to pat her back or tell her that she’s sorry, and Lena is grateful because at some point after losing so much family she’s gotten sick of people’s condolences. Jess just lets her fade into her own memories, twisting her silver ring around.

“He wrote this house into my share of the inheritance when he fell ill,” she continues. “Which was just as well, since Mom could hardly care, and Lex… Lex had a lawyer take care of it until I turned eighteen.”

“Did you still come back for summers?”

Lena nods. “Lex was always too busy running the company that we barely saw each other, but he always made time to meet me at the airport and drive me here, every year until I went to university too.”

She remembers the lonely summers after Lionel’s passing, working alone in the garage until sunrise, trekking up the hiking trail to cry her eyes out at the top, throwing her tools in frustration when she got stuck and pacing the yard, thinking: what would Dad do, what would Dad do?

“I actually haven’t been back here since.”

Jess nods. “Do you need help with anything?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I think I can handle a few dust bunnies by myself.”

Jess snorts at that. “When would you like me to pick you up, Miss Luthor?”

Lena shakes her head. “Don’t worry about that. I’ve taken up enough of your time already.”

She knows the amount of work that must be piling up right now, how acting CEO Jessica Hoang does not have the time to play chauffeur, but she appreciates Jess’s nonchalant shrug nonetheless.

“It’s my job,” she states simply. “How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure,” Lena says, with the barest of smiles. Jess frowns at her, picking at her own cuticles in the nervous way that she does, and Lena wonders if Jess knows how adorable it is. “Don’t worry. I promise I’m not doing anything stupid, I just want to spend some time alone.”

And she tries to tell Jess that it’s not going to be one of her isolating, self-destructive spirals without so many words, but Jess seems to get it. She has an immaculate sense for when to push and when to ease off that’s rare in people.

So she hands Lena the bag, sighing.

“There’s new shoes and about two outfits in there,” she says. “It’s not your usual style so I had to do some guesswork, but the sizes at least should be right.”

Lena smiles. “Thank you, Jess.”

Jess nods, walking around the front of her car to the driver’s side.

“Call me if you need anything, Miss Luthor,” she says as she opens the car door, more of a stern demand than an offer. “And please,” she continues, a bit more shyly as she rests her hand on the roof of the car. “Be careful.”

Lena doesn’t restrain any of the fond smile that breaks through.

“I will. And Jess,” she waits for brown eyes to flicker back up to her. “Thanks for listening.”

Jess looks like she’s struggling with something, but only for a moment before giving up.

“It’s my job,” she says, just as impassively as before, and Lena almost laughs.

“You keep telling yourself that,” she says, because Jess either has a very strange understanding of her occupation or simply gets some sort of self-assurance out of pretending she’s not a good person. “Don’t work too hard.”

Jess only rolls her eyes.

“You don’t get to tell me that,” she quips, the slight curve of her lips taking the bite out of it. “Good day, Miss Luthor.”

Lena laughs as she watches Jess get into her car.

“Bye, Jess.”

She waves, and stands on the curb until Jess’s car disappears around the bend. It’s only a short moment, then, of soaking in the early spring sun before walking up to the front door and testing her keys.

There’s a slight trepidation, a moment of uncertainty just before she turns the key where she wonders if it’ll open, if it’ll still click for her, or if the lock’s changed, if she has the wrong key, if she doesn’t belong after all.

The lock turns and the door opens with only the slightest amount of resistance from misuse. Lena sighs. Of course, she tries to tell herself. Of course it’ll open, of course this is still hers. No one has touched the lock or key in years.

She wonders if illogical self-doubt is an inborn trait for any sentient being, or a quirk programmed in from years of hurt.

She doesn’t bother with the dusty hallway just yet, turning in the entranceway to push open the door to the garage. She feels out the door switch in the dark and flips it, the sunlight crashing in with the loud thundering of the garage doors. Lena watches the scene unfold in front of her—tools left out of their boxes, parts laying on the floor in places she doesn’t recall placing them and she realizes she doesn’t remember her last day in here at all.

Did she really leave such a mess? What time of day did she leave, what was she thinking? She crosses the threshold as the doors whirr into place and sees the workshop of a girl who very much expected to return soon after departing.

She doesn’t recall being that girl.

Lena sets down her bag on one of the tabletops, heels clacking lightly on the concrete as she walks over to the car parked in the middle—the greatest project of her youth, built from scratch and made to prototype a new kind of engine. She runs a finger over the dusty black paint job, smiling a little as she remembers the day she first painted it.

The smell of the fumes, strong even through her mask, her eyes watering as she held up the stencil. She almost threw out all the paint when she was done, more than satisfied with her work, but Lionel packed it away carefully into the corner of the workshop.

“Never assume finality for anything,” he said. “Change is the only constant, and humans are works in progress until the very end. Always leave room for the person you might become, Lena.”

She smiles. At least her teenage self had the sense to paint over the garish flaming skulls after growing out of that phase.

Lena takes her bag and steps back inside the house, kicking her brain into action. It’s time to get changed and get to work—she’s curious to see where eighteen year old Lena Luthor had left off on the prototype, not to mention how far automotive technology has advanced in the past decade.

* * *

_The next arrivals are Alex and Maggie, thankfully. Lucy’s done a wonderful job of keeping her company and Lois hasn’t made any more stabbing comments since the first, but she’s still grateful to see the only other person in Kara’s life who doesn’t disapprove of her._

_Her relief freezes a little when a little blonde girl is ushered in alongside them._

_Lois grins. “Who’s the little lady?”_

_Alex crosses her arms and give Kara a pointed stare while the little Danvers claps her forehead._

_“Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, I totally forgot to tell everyone else—” she rushes forward, only stopping a little when the girl shrinks behind Maggie. “Detective Ramirez is still in the hospital, so—”_

_“I brought the kiddo along,” Maggie finishes. “I hope that’s alright with everyone.”_

_“Fine by me,” Lois says from the couch. Lucy only gives Kara a bemused half-glare._

_“You could have told me, Kara, I wouldn’t have busted out the alcohol.”_

_“I’m sorry…” Kara mumbles, closing the door behind the new arrivals. “Today was just so crazy….”_

_Lois laughs. “Well, go on Sawyers, introduce us to the new kid.”_

_Maggie draws her arm around the little girl’s shoulders and pulls her softly into the apartment, squeezing her reassuringly._

_“Everyone, this is Kris Ramirez.”_

_“Hey, Kris,” Lois says as Maggie sits the girl down on the couch. “I’m Lois…”_

_Lena takes that as her cue to take the wine glasses back to the kitchen, returning the small smile Lucy shoots her way. She swallows her nervousness as she places them lightly in the sink, only letting herself breathe when she sees Alex break away from the group to lean next to her on the countertop._

_“Hey,” she says, crossing her arms. “How are you holding up?”_

_Lena contemplates lying to her for a second before realizing there’s hardly any point, Kara can still hear her body seizing up with nerves and keeps shooting worried looks at her that her sister wouldn’t miss blindfolded._

_“Nervous,” she admits, running a hand through her hair. “It’s not every day you get to meet your girlfriend’s family.”_

_She looks up to see Alex giving her a small, sympathetic smile._

_“It’s gonna be fine. You’ve met Lois already, so you’ve gotten through the worst part.”_

_Lena raises a brow at her. “Yes, because meeting her best friend, ex boyfriend, and mother is going to be a cakewalk.”_

_Alex laughs. “Relax, it’s gonna be fine.”_

_“And it’s not even as her—” Lena glances at the main group nervously. “As her girlfriend. As far as everyone else is concerned, Kara’s just letting me crash here until things blow over.”_

_She ignores another one of Kara’s worried looks. Alex uncrosses her arms and rests the heel of her palms on the edge of the counter, giving her this look that seems sort of familiar—Lena tries to place where she’s seen it on Kara when she realizes that Alex isn’t saying much and she recoils into her own skin. She’s probably said too much. Their first real conversation was only just earlier that day, after all._

_She fidgets with her ring, shifting a little against the counter._

_“Yes?”_

_Alex smirks a little and shakes her head._

_“Nothing, you just reminded me of something.”_

_Lena raises a brow but Alex isn’t forthcoming, just smiling in a slightly knowing way and she tries not to be unsettled._

_“Miss Luthor?”_

_She has a mini heart attack as Kris comes up beside them, shoulders squared._

_“Hello,” she tries her best smile, trying not to let her heartrate spike too much. She’s not good with kids, she’s never been good with kids, always so afraid of their fragile little hearts._

_“I’m Kris Ramirez,” the little girl declares, and Lena hears Alex laugh into her hand behind her. “I’d just like to thank you for your support of Terrestrial Care.”_

_Lena’s grin stutters a little as she registers Kris’s words and the small pointed tips of ears peeking out of blonde hair._

_“She goes there for checkups,” Alex supplies as Lena scrambles for an answer. It only helps a little bit—to be thanked by an alien child is unexpected, to say the very very least. “Wait a second. How did you know about that, Kris?”_

_Kris suddenly turns shy, glancing down at her feet._

_“Um. The.” Her voice drops to a near whisper. “Lollipops.”_

_Lena’s brows furrow quizzically. “Lollipops?”_

_“A nurse there told me,” she says hastily, almost defensively. “When I asked why they had lollipops again, because they stopped having them at the front desk last year.”_

_Lena can’t help smiling at the image of this polite little girl asking after candy, embarrassed._

_“What’s your favourite flavour?”_

_“Strawberry,” Kris answers delightedly, before clasping her hands sheepishly and clearing her throat. “Anyway. I hope everything clears up for you soon, Miss Luthor.”_

_And Lena tries to stifle her laughter, because she doesn’t want Kris to think she’s laughing at her or feel belittled—it’s just that she’s so utterly charmed by this eloquent little creature._

_“Thank you, Kris.”_

* * *

It’s about one in the afternoon when the car’s ready to be taken out for a spin. Lena’s pleasantly surprised to find that the prototype engine was actually completed before she left for university, and it’s only a matter of tuning for efficiency and combing over inexperienced mistakes. It’s far from ideal—ten years is a long time, after all, and an engine made by a teenager is bound to be a little rudimentary, but it’s got some solid ideas that Lena’s forgotten about—and eager to work more on. She wonders idly if L-Corp has any chance of breaking into the automobile market, or if they should just stick to selling blueprints to Nissan or something.

She could spend the entire day—or week— working, but she closes the hood as soon as she’s satisfied enough with it to try a first run. It takes her about an hour to gun it out of the city like a 50’s Hollywood heroine running away from home, feeling the breath rush into her chest when the highway opens up to the expanse of the Mojave.

The flyaway blue sky, the sandy horizon stretching on forever; she rolls down the window to breathe in the crisp desert air, relishing the slight bite from the chill of spring. There’s something about the endlessness of a new world around her that makes her feel like she’s breaking free from a past life—she wonders if this is close to how Kara feels when up in the air.

Of course, she doesn’t get too far before realizing she’s skipped breakfast and lunch. She can picture Jess’s displeased frown perfectly in her head, but better late than never, she figures, pulling over at the next rest stop. It’s relatively empty, what with it being a chilly weekday—she finds a spot of shade to park in before pulling on her sunglasses and pocketing her hands as she wanders over to the gas station store.

The selection isn’t great, not that she was expecting it to be. She opts for a simple ham sandwich and apple juice, pausing as she passes by the candy.

It’s a garishly colourful and loud display, obviously meant to attract the attention of bored, petulant children. She shifts her late lunch into the crook of her right arm and picks out one lollipop, raspberry blue.

It’s always been her favourite flavour of candy, ever since the first time Lex slipped her one behind Lillian’s back at the end of a dentist visit. He always noticed things like that, when Lena would reach for the sweet and bright things in life only to be scolded by their mother to sit up straight and just be less of a child.

And it’s such a strange idea, how the littlest things will stay with children for so long. To be hurt while so young and defenseless—as adults people know to heal over wounds and grow thicker and thicker skin. But children, children don’t know the welt on their heart is anything but normal until they notice that other people don’t quite have the same scar pressed into the shape of their personality.

And so Lillian molded her. She never hit Lena, not once—she just pressed sharp words between Lena’s shoulders to hold her posture straight and shot scathing looks at her small hands so they burnt tightly into her sides. And so Lena grew up, head held high and rigid, prim in all her mannerisms—even during her rebellious years, guilt and fear gnawed at the edges of her mind, and she never indulged in things like spiky jackets or ripped jeans because she liked them—it was always because she delighted in how it always felt so wrong.

Now, she walks out into the open of the gas station because she’s so sure no one will recognize her in her loose hoodie and jeans. She even has converse on—and hardly anyone’s so much as squinted at her, because Lena Luthor doesn’t wear converse.

(She also has her glasses on, contact lenses foregone. It doesn’t change the look of her face as much as Kara’s does hers, but it makes her feel a little silly and giggly thinking about Kara so she does it anyway.)

Of course, it feels too loose and casual compared to her usual pencil skirts and fitted blazers, but she’s not uncomfortable. She’s slowly but surely peeling away the feelings of instinctual wrongness from what she might actually prefer, because, in the end, she’s not quite sure. It’s a work in progress.

She sees her black car parked in the shade and her mind whirrs again as she sees it from the outside for the first time in two hours. After the test run today, she’s going to get what she needs and drive it up to the house to work on her rediscovered pet-project. Increase the battery capacity, switch out the cooling system, maybe peel back the hood and make it a convertible. She thinks about what tools she might need even as she plants herself in the driver’s seat and eats her food. Who she can hire to help fill the gaps in her knowledge, if she’ll have to take it down to a professional garage still, and so on.

It’s when she’s back on the freeway, lollipop stuck in her mouth, when she thinks of her family again. How Lex would take her away from Lillian whenever her got the chance, letting her laugh, letting her be just a kid. How they stuck their candy-stained tongues out at each other, hers blue and his lime green, clamping their mouths shut over their laughter and sitting up straight if anyone walked by during their antics.

And she thinks it’s so strange how people remember things. Being conscious every moment of their lives, but only remembering random moments like lights that stand out in a vague assumption of continuity, organized in loose constellations of love, happiness, and hurt.

She passes between two peaks of rough desert stone, feeling wonder spread in her chest once again as the blue sky unfolds spectacularly again. She leans forward on the driving wheel a little, marvelling.

Lex told her once, in a loose approximation of the truth that appeased her five year old mind, that the blue sky was a glass ceiling that people could only see out of at night, the same way that it was hard to see through windows when one side was brightly lit. But right now the sky seems so endless that Lena entertains the idea of space being a fathomless blue reaching into eternity.

She laughs to herself, squawking softly when she nearly drops her lollipop in an ungraceful fit. She toys with the idea of painting the car an iridescent navy and wonders if her favourite colour is blue.

* * *

_Next comes James and Winn. Lena’s a bit jittery to meet James Olsen, because the odds are stacked against them having anywhere near a normal interaction; he’s Superman’s best friend and Kara’s ex boyfriend._

_Imagine her surprise when he finishes greeting everyone and turns to her with a tentative smile, exerting a kind of soft, boyish charm despite his chiseled frame._

_“Lena Luthor,” he says, as if teasingly greeting an old business friend instead of an enemy’s younger sister. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard good things.”_

_He gives Kara a smiley glance as he says that, and Lena’s heart warms at the thought of Kara speaking well of her._

_“It’s nice to finally meet you too, Mr. Olsen,” Lena says, nervousness tittering only a little bit._

_He grins, pocketing his hands, and Lena wonders how his teeth are so white and perfect._

_“Call me James,” he says, so easily, so freely._

_“And I’m Winn Schott,” says a brunette man, sidling up close next to James and Lena has a fleeting thought about how they’re perfectly matching cuddling sizes. Winn extends his hand. “It is so nice to meet you, Miss Luthor, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions about L-Corp’s new microprocessor?”_

_Kara groans, crossing her arms. “Winn, you promised not to pester her.”_

_Lena laughs as she shakes Winn’s hand._

_“Please, call me Lena. I’d be happy to answer any questions.”_

_Kara frowns at her sympathetically. “You don’t have to, Lena, he’s just being a nerd.”_

_“I’ll be fine,” Lena says, catching herself before letting a fond ‘darling’ slip. James snorts and claps an arm around Winn, squeezing him almost affectionately before backstepping further into the living room._

_“And that’s my cue to get out of here while I can,” he teases. Winn nearly jumps with delight as he’s left with Lena, clapping his hands together eagerly._

_“So,” he says, following her back to her seat by the kitchen island where she’s been mostly hiding out a little for most of the night and taking a seat across from her. “The double coil to up performance was brilliant, but how did you get it to not drain power like a monster?”_

_She laughs and launches into an answer, enjoying the excited interrogation she’s getting. It’s nice to talk about tech because it’s known territory that she’s never been nervous about—Winn drills her about the production, the capacities, even giving her a few ideas for the next model with his lines of questioning. They even talk about the business side a little bit, talking over how Samsung and LG are the competing bidders at the moment and he’s in the middle of a not-so-subtle plug for the DEO when Kara comes over to check on them._

_“Need me to rescue you yet?” she says, coming around to Lena’s side and ignoring Winn’s indignant noise._

_“My hero,” Lena teases. “I think I’m alright.”_

_“If you’re sure,” she says, resting her hand on Lena’s back. “Eliza’s going to be late, so we’re starting Punderdome soon. Don’t let him keep you.”_

_“Pfft. As if I’d give up an opportunity to kick your ass at punning,” Winn retorts, earning a mock scowl from Kara as she walks away. Lena laughs as she watches her go, adoring the way her nose crinkles before noticing that she’s been caught staring._

_“So,” she says, hoping Winn doesn’t think too much of her practically swooning after Kara. “Anything else, Agent Schott?”_

_He grins at her, leaning forward on his elbows and glancing at his hands before shaking his head._

_“Not really, just… How did you do it?”_

_She quirks a brow at him. “With some patented equipment and a lot of money,” she jokes, and he waves his hand at her, rolling his eyes with a laugh._

_“No, not the processor—I meant how you just… Dove into the company after your brother went…” He makes a vague explosion motion with his hands. “That can’t have been easy.”_

_Her mouth twists a little at that, her laugh winding down._

_“Well. The answer is still similar. It doesn’t hurt to be a billionaire,” she adds a small smile to that. “But I suppose it just… didn’t matter if it was easy or not. I had to do it.”_

_He nods, still looking down at his hands. “I couldn’t do it. I mean, I don’t know if Kara told you about my dad…”_

_“Ah.” She remembers, and it’s a little bit of a jolt because it’s so hard to connect this cheery, dramatic man with such a similar history to hers. He has a spark that she hasn’t been able to keep, and for a moment she’s kind of jealous. “She did. Nothing in detail, though,” she adds._

_He grins a little wryly. “I couldn’t so much as look at toys without feeling sick for years after he had his meltdown. It’s… scary,” he says. “Knowing that I get my knack for machines from him.”_

_Lena nods, because she understands that ever-present chill of what if: what if she’s just like him? What if she ends up just like him? What if she doesn’t catch herself falling until it’s too late, too?_

_“It’s difficult,” she sighs. “But I think we’ve both made the best of things.”_

_He gives her such an earsplitting grin, then, and she finds herself hoping that things will work out and she doesn’t have to be sent packing from Kara’s life because this is nice. This is easy, sharing smiles with all of them, being so… welcomed, despite her trepidations._

_There’s a bit of a twinge when she realizes that there’s not much of an equivalent she can offer to Kara. The Kryptonian’s already met all the important people in Lena’s life, barring Lex._

* * *

She drives as far as the ghost town that’s halfway to the tri-state border, losing herself in the feel of the car’s acceleration, listening carefully to the engine, eyes drinking in the scenery. She parks in the desert a little ways off the road when the setting sun shines a bit too bright for her to feel comfortable driving.

That said, it’s gorgeous. The skyline lights up in a pastel rainbow of light orange, pink, and lavender fading into the slowly deepening indigo. She fishes out her phone and tries to snap a few photos, ultimately deciding that photography’s not her forte; all of the pictures end up losing the colour of the sky or just shading out the desert in black, with no in-between. None of them quite capture the majesty of the scene, the way the colours wash over her with a kind of quiet jubilation that she can’t put to words.

She wonders if there’s any point to asking James for a few tips. Would she even have time to cultivate anything he might teach her? She sits on the hood of her car and tries to think of any non-work-related hobbies she has, not coming up with much.

She thinks of Kara’s easels lying around her bedroom, Winn’s action figure collection, Jess’s array of complicated Rubik’s cubes in varying levels of matched on her desk, and sighs. Depressing. The closest she’s gotten to enjoying herself in her spare time is tinkering, and she’s not sure that counts. She thinks of all the variety of lessons she’s gotten as a child and tries to remember if she actually enjoyed any of them, if any of them would be worth going back to.

Well. Fencing was really fun. She was pulled off of that because apparently she looked too… _Gleeful_ with a sword in her hand.

She spends the rest of her evening like that. Watching the sun set and the stars rise, parsing through her own constellations of memories to find the things she hasn’t thought of before, the things that she hasn’t swallowed and forgotten that she never wanted. She does genuinely like dark lipsticks. She wonders if she’ll like the way she might look in braids. She should go back to reading books. She actually really, really hates white wines.

She really, really loves Kara Danvers.

She looks for Libra and Scorpius in the sky as she resigns herself to how her thoughts twirl back to Kara, every time. There’s a twinge in her stomach because, Kara deserves better, Kara deserves someone who doesn’t need her all the time, Kara deserves a fully fleshed out lover and not just a caricature of a love interest dangling off the end of her sentences.

Then again, can she really blame herself? Kara is… Kara is the kind of love that most people only dream of. Kara catches her when she’s falling, Kara listens, Kara waits, Kara would hold the entirety of Lena’s being in her hands and still want Lena to be fully involved in her decisions, always putting her wellbeing first, never once tempted by the power of being offered someone’s everything like so many other people are.

And God, if that doesn’t just make Lena want to give Kara her everything even more.

A work in progress, she reminds herself. She is a work in progress. It’s been many years since that last time her life was more than just worrying about Lex and work, and then worrying about herself and work.

Lena’s eyes catch on a shadow floating towards her in the darkness, waiting until Supergirl lands gently and lies down next to her on the hood of her car.

“Hi,” she whispers, meeting Kara’s hand halfway to lace their fingers together.

“Hi,” Kara whispers back, scooting a little closer.

“How was your day?” Lena asks, looking for the stars reflected in Kara’s eyes.

“Good. A bit busy, but ok. I checked up on Lois and Eliza and just… worked, mostly.” Kara swallows. “How was yours?”

“Good,” Lena echoes back. “I think blue is my favourite colour,” she says with a bit of a grin. “And it might entirely have something to do with you.”

Kara chuckles a little at the teasing. “What did you do today?”

“I was just taking this thing for a test run,” Lena says, knocking lightly on the car with her other hand.

“Test run?”

She nods. “It’s a project from when I was a kid. I think I’m going back to it.”

“That’s cool,” Kara says, so tentatively. “I… I like your clothes.”

Lena giggles a little at that, never tired of the little flush that goes through her when Kara compliments her.

“Thanks.” She shuffles into Kara’s side, tilting her head to lean it a little against Kara’s shoulder. The blonde’s other hand reaches over to smooth softly over Lena’s arm.

“I’m sorry,” Kara says, almost nervously. Lena frowns up at her.

“For what?”

“Coming to find you when you said you wanted to be alone,” she says, brows creasing guiltily. “I didn’t want to intrude on your space, it’s just, it got dark and I knew you weren’t in the city and I got worried—“

“Darling, relax,” Lena laughs. “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re here.” She raises their hands to plant a soft kiss on Kara’s knuckles. “I missed you.”

Kara sighs and tugs to kiss Lena’s knuckles in turn. “I missed you too. I’m really glad you had a good day to yourself.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you. I promise I wasn’t running away.”

Kara shakes her head. “I know. I trust you.”

And there it is, the thing that really started it all. Trust. Kara trusted that Lena wasn’t behind the attack on the Venture. Kara trusted that Lena didn’t want to follow in her family’s footsteps. Kara trusts that Lena won’t run away. Kara trusts that Lena doesn’t want to hurt her.

And Lena trusts Kara. With so many things, because that’s what it comes down to, in the end. All the poetry in the world could swear by the passion and grandness of love, the sacrifice and the sheer blinding brilliance of it, and it wouldn’t change that none of that matters without trust. Trust that the other person will speak up, won’t lie, will put your personhood above love; trust that allows two people the space to be whole, to feel safe.

I love you, Lena wants to say.

“I’m sorry,” she says instead. Kara shifts and frowns at her.

“For what?”

“For… that I still can’t…” She closes her eyes and breathes, trying to find the words. A pause passes between them before she feels Kara’s hair tickle her face, opening her eyes to find her girlfriend staring up at the stars.

“Have you ever read anything by Roland Barthes?”

Lena quite likes the way the French name rolls off Kara’s tongue, but the sudden question still jostles her. She laughs a bit at the abruptness.

“I’ve heard of him, but I can’t say that I’ve read any of his. Isn’t he a theorist of some kind?”

Kara nods. “A linguist. I had to read a bunch of stuff by him in college.”

“Weren’t you an Art major?”

She shrugs. “Well, that’s the thing, he…” Kara puffs out a breath. “He wrote a bunch of things about the cultural codes in images, and how to read them. I studied him in one of my visual theory classes. There was this… one essay that really stuck out to me. It was about how images are languages that you can decode and interpret as well, that all people instinctively interpret without thinking about it. It was about… a pasta ad, and how the colours suggested Italianicity, and stuff.”

Lena nods. “Makes… sense.” She grins, a little playfully. “Not sure where you’re going with this, though.”

Kara snorts and tugs at her hand lightly. “Hear me out. I was really struck by the thought of treating images as a language, okay? And then I got to thinking that… If you put it like that, everything is a language, technically. Not just the still image.”

And then Kara uncouples their hands and turns onto her side to face Lena, eyes suddenly nebulous and intense. Lena shivers at the fingertips tracing her jawline, swallowing nervously.

“I can hear your heartbeat when we touch,” she whispers, resting her palm on Lena’s chest. “I can feel your skin warming up when we hold hands. I see the way you let go of the tension in your shoulders when you see me. I see how you smile at me like you’re not even thinking about it,” she keeps going, hand ghosting up to press a soft thumb at the edge of Lena’s lips and Lena can swear she’s stopped breathing at this point. Kara laughs a little. “I can hear your breath catch when we kiss.”

And the kiss she supplies at that moment does more than take Lena’s breath away.

“I know you’ve been thinking about me all day when I come home to you buying me a new tub of ice cream,” she continues after pulling back with a smile. “I can hear your heart pick up a little when I’m in a fight and I know you’re watching the news for me. I feel the way you kiss me a little harder when I come back after some bad ones. I always notice how you always know when I’m not feeling well and you always keep the hot chocolate stocked.” She cups Lena’s cheek fully then, palm resting warm and firm on her face.

“You don’t have to say anything, Lena,” she murmurs. “I see you. I hear you loud and clear.”

There are no words to describe how her heart stops, and the very air in her lungs go molten, and she’s drowning and breathing for the first time all at once. She surges forward to kiss Kara, and the blonde kisses back just as hard, pulls her close just as firmly as if she understands Lena’s desperation, as if she can feel it, hear it just like any other utterance.

Lena’s hands fist into the red cape and she can already feel this moment crystallizing in her heart as it passes, pulling together into another star in her constellation of _Kara_. Of the love of her life.

* * *

_The living room is loud because, a bit inevitably, the fire of competition has ignited and it’s the Danvers sisters vs. the Lane sisters, the other teams having been cut out of the charades tournament already. Kara’s ticking the points nervously as Lois shouts out the right answer mere seconds into Lucy’s gestures—it looks about to be a sure victory until Lucy scrambles, then points vigorously at Lena._

_“CEO,” Lois tries, eyes trained on Lucy’s frantically shaking head. “Billionaire! Genius! Uhhhh, pretty girl!” Lucy shakes her head again. “Goddammit!”_

_Lena’s quite blown back from the compliments from someone she’s sure isn’t very fond of her. Lois rattles off the comments like they’re nothing, just facts._

_Lucy grabs her hair, then starts pointing frantically at Alex._

_“Brunette?” Lois tries. “Nerds! Scientists!” Lucy gets more and more animated. “Dammit, Luce, what else do Alex and Luthor have in common? Is it Hardass Lesbians?”_

_“AND TIME!” Kara yells out nervously, cutting Lois off. “IT’S OUR TURN ALEXLETSGO—“_

_“What was the answer?” Lois demands through her laughter, and Lucy’s trying to catch a breath inbetween her hysterics to answer._

_“It was—“ she stifles another cackle. “It was engineer, you stupid—“_

_She succumbs to guffaws. Kara makes a mad grab for the cards, trying to coax Alex into helping her out instead of gaping like a fish._

_“COMEONCOMEONALEX—“_

_“I’m not a—Sawyer, stop laughing!”_

_Lena doesn’t notice Kara’s panicked look towards her because she’s too busy doubled over Winn, almost crying with laughter._

_“Your—“ she coughs, pointing at Alex, just barely avoiding jabbing James in the eye (he’s laughing too hard to dodge). “Your face!”_

_Alex looks utterly distraught._

_“She called you that too!”_

_Lena chortles. “I concede, honestly.”_

_The older Danvers just buries her face in her hands while her girlfriend slaps her back laughing. Kara just looks between Alex, Lois, and Lena, looking adorably confused and panicked, before shooting up to her feet._

_“Eliza!”_

_Lena’s laugh dies so abruptly in her throat that she almost chokes on it. Eliza Danvers is at the door, looking over the group amusedly as she closes the door behind her._

_“I’m missing out on a party, clearly,” she chuckles, taking Kara’s hug. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, my lecture ran late.”_

_Kara pulls back, taking her mother’s purse. “Lecture?”_

_“She’s part-time lecturing at NCU while she’s here for Lois,” Alex says, padding over and taking a warm hug. “Hi, Mom.”_

_“Hi, Alex,” Eliza laughs. She lets her daughter wrap an arm around her shoulder as they walk into the living room space, smiling at the group._

_“Eliza, you made it,” Lois grins amidst a chorus of variations on ‘Hi Eliza’._

_“In one piece,” she teases. “Am I the last one here?”_

_“Yup,” Kara says, sidling up next to them. “Um, Eliza, this is…”_

_Lena almost bangs her knee on the coffee table as she jerks up to her feet and steps over, hand outstretched._

_“Lena Luthor,” she says nervously. “It’s an honor to meet you, Dr. Danvers.”_

_She panics when Eliza gives her hand an amused look, before she’s denied the handshake and pulled into a hug._

_“Please, call me Eliza,” she says, pulling back with a warm smile. Lena just blinks as she receives a squeeze on her wrists. “It’s lovely to meet you, Lena.”_

_For the third time that night, Lena is completely dumbfounded and needs saving._

_“Now that we’re all here, I’ll start on dinner, if that’s alright.”_

_“Oh! We’ll help,” Winn offers, making to get up with the rest of the group._

_“No, don’t let me interrupt your game, I don’t need all of you,” Eliza chuckles, her gentle tone somehow still commanding the entire room. “Kara, Lena, would you help me out?”_

_Lena screams inside a little. She plasters on her best smile before following them into the kitchen, trying to calm her heart._

_Things don’t get better from there. Eliza turns to Kara, looking apologetic, as soon as they get away from the main group._

_“I completely forgot the soup in my car; Kara, could you go down and get it for me?”_

_Lena fixes her with a look that screams pleasedon’tleaveme. It doesn’t work, because Kara looks cautiously between Lena and Eliza before nodding slowly._

_“Sure. I’ll be right back.”_

_And there she goes, letting Lena’s heart shrivel with fear at being singled out. Traitor._

_“Don’t look so worried, I’m not here to give you a dressing down,” Eliza laughs, rolling up her sleeves. “I’m sure you’ve gotten enough of that from Alex and the others.”_

_Lena tries to breathe a little, smiling nervously._

_“They’ve actually been really lovely, considering everything.”_

_Eliza’s grin is so warm and genuine that Lena’s heart isn’t sure whether to calm down to just stop entirely._

_“I’m glad. Can you get out a pot from the bottom rack, please?”_

_Lena gets right to it, willing her hands to stop shaking. This is fine. She’s being nice. It’s not a disaster. Kara’s mom doesn’t seem to hate her so it’s actually a miracle._

_“So, Lena,” Eliza starts. “Tell me more about yourself.”_

_Lena nearly drops the pot onto the stove. “I—me?” she stutters, completely inarticulate. Eliza smiles benignly._

_“Yes, you. Kara talks about you a lot,” she says. “I’d like to get to know you better.”_

_And Lena’s sure that’s some code for ‘Kara told me you’re dating’ and she wills herself to say something interesting, because this is her chance to impress Eliza, present herself as a worthy suitor._

_“Well, I’m…” She tries to think of something that’s not as obvious before she realizes that all the facts that Lois rattled off earlier are pretty much… a sum of her character. She flounders a bit. “I’m not sure there’s much about me that you don’t already know.”_

_Eliza just shakes her head with a smile. “I’m sure that’s not true. Which area of engineering are you trained in? I was under the impression that L-Corp specialized mostly in chemical and mechanical, but from the way you disabled the virus it seems like you have some know-how in biochemical inventions.”_

_“Oh, well, I— I had some help from my R &D team, but it mostly had to do with manufacturing a close replica of the isotope that wouldn’t bond properly with the virus…” _

_And a few minutes later, when Kara comes back with a big container and a huge smile, Lena realizes that Eliza’s coaxed her into talking comfortably about herself and science and she just. Marvels at how she could have picked the one alien from the one human family as amazing as the Danvers._

* * *

“You know you can’t hold me here forever, Max.”

Maxwell Lord just smiles, pocketing his hands as she stands in front of the cell. There’s a light iridescent glow between him and his prisoner, the room filling with a dull hum.

“I think you’ll find that I can, Lex. Sorry to double cross you like this. I can’t have a murderer going loose on my account.”

Lex shakes his head, leaning forward in his seat, looking no more troubled than if a fly had dropped in his drink.

“You should have thought of that before you made the deal with me.”

Lord just laughs, shuffling his expensive shoes against the pristine white floor.

“Sorry, Lex. It’s just business.”

Lex scrutinizes him for a long time before shrugging, smiling so pleasantly.

“I suppose you’re right. Will you indulge me in one favor, though?”

“Depends on the favor.”

“Your prisoner food is a little bland,” he chuckles. “I was wondering if you had any candy.”

Lord frowns, pausing a moment.

“I didn’t take you for much of a sweet tooth.”

Lex just shrugs again. Lord furrows his brows before sighing and waving at one of his workers.

“Get him a lollipop or something.” He turns to Lex. “Don’t worry, old friend. You’ll be back in your usual cell in a few days time.”

“Looking forward to it, Max,” Lex calls as Lord walks away. The worker steps forward, pulling out a lollipop from his pocket and throwing it through the forcefield.

Lex catches it with one hand. “Thank you, Gordon. It’s good to see you again.”

Gordon nods at him obediently before walking away and locking up the room, giving Lex another look through the doors before they slide shut and he’s alone in the cavernous room and his humming cage.

Lex looks down at the crinkly wrapper, smirking to himself.

“Green lime. My favourite.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spoilers for the next update: get fucking wrekt maxwell lord it's lex time
> 
> the specific essay i referenced is Rhetoric of the Image, it's a short read and actually pretty cool
> 
> Also, thank you so so much for your encouragement guys, you're always so lovely


	7. where it all comes to a head pt.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the final showdown begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is un-beta's im sorry for spelling mistakes or inconsistencies;;; i had a bit more trouble teasing out the finer points of characterization this chapter bc i was so overwhelmed by trying to pace the action

_Maxwell groans as he limps across the floor, clutching his bleeding shoulder._

_“Why are you doing this?” He demands of the aliens. “He wants you all dead, why would you help him--”_

_The tall Venati just laughs, pulling him up by the collar. “No, he wants us off this planet. Which we do as well. Once he has what he needs, he’s going to help us escape this hellhole-- and he’s a man of his word, unlike you.”_

_Lord drops to the ground with another punch. The cold floor burns against the cut on his face, and he tries to lift himself up._

_A foot on his head stops him short._

_“Give me the access code to this facility, Max.”_

_Lex Luthor’s heel is hard against his cheek, pain lancing through his skull as he’s pressed into the floor._

_“Over my dead body.”_

_Lex laughs. “That can quite easily be arranged. But let me appeal to your sense of self-preservation, my friend. I need your equipment to get to Superman’s family. You give me the codes, and I let you go immediately.”_

_Max screams as Lex presses harder, panting and scrabbling at his leg._

_“I am not going to let a murderer like you go free!”_

_Lex gives a blasé little sigh. “You should have thought of that before you made a deal with me, Max.”_

* * *

Kara drums the surface of her kitchen counter nervously when she hears Lena’s breath picking up a little from it’s sleepy slow pace.  Hearing is one of the senses she has so much trouble turning off for privacy’s sake—she can close her eyes all she wants, but it’s hard to shut out the sounds of someone she’s as attuned to as Lena.

The soft timbre of her tired groan, the whispering swish of her skin against fabric—Kara can tell she’s doing that thing she does where she stares away out the window while gathering up her conscious self because the blinking of her eyes sound like small chaste kisses.

Kara can’t help her face splitting into a grin when Lena finally pushes out of bed with a small grunt puffing in her throat. She holds onto the little _pap-paps_ of Lena’s bare feet against her floor before opening her eyes and straightening up.

“Good morning,” she greets with a smile.

Lena squints at her mid-stretch, corner of her lips lifting into a lopsided smile as she pads over to the kitchen. Kara immerses herself in the way she’s lit in the sunny apartment; hair haloed in a mahogany glow, pale skin awash with a warm tint, soft shadows cast in the creases of her shirt. She finishes her stretch with a quiet pop of her shoulders and lets her arms fall crossed over her head as she arrives by Kara’s side.

“Good morning,” she rasps, letting her arms slip from over her head to around Kara’s shoulders in a motion that reminds Kara of cascading silk. Her eyes are a little bluer in the morning light, the teal edges of green flowing into a watery blue around the outer side of her irises.

Kara rests her hands on Lena’s hips, humming into their kiss. “Did you sleep well?”

Lena nods. “I always do when I’m here,” she murmurs as she rests her forehead against Kara’s. “I love seeing you like this.”

“Like what?”

Lena grins, pecking her right on the bridge of her nose. “In your pajamas, before you put either uniform on.” She pulls back to smile at Kara. “You look beautiful.”

Kara swallows nervously before laughing breathlessly. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

She catches a glimpse of Lena starting to roll her eyes before they kiss again.

Lena hums before spotting the box on the counter. “What’s all this?”

“Oh, that.” Kara thumbs Lena’s hipbones lightly. “I thought I’d pick up some breakfast for you.”

Lena raises a brow.

“Fine,” Kara huffs. “I picked up breakfast for _us_. I already had my portion.”

Lena’s smile takes on a bit of a smug tint as she kisses Kara again before taking a seat and pulling the box towards herself. She flips the lid open, and it’s Kara’s turn to be a little smug as her jaw drops.

“Fluffy pancakes.” She reluctantly looks up from the gloriously thick, perfectly round and golden-brown pancakes topped with a few berries and powdered sugar. “Where did you get these?”

Kara sits across from her and leans forward on her elbows, face squished into her palms cheekily.

“That café you couldn’t stop talking about after your business trip last month.”

Lena’s eyes widen even more. “The one in _Tokyo_?”

Kara grins. “Having a superpowered girlfriend has its perks.”

Something flickers in Lena’s expression—eyelids lowering ever so slightly, lips softening around the quietest of sighs—and she wordlessly rises from her to seat to round the kitchen island. Kara turns towards her readily, letting her fit herself against Kara between her legs, fingers threading into blonde hair and teeth tugging insistently at her bottom lip.

Kara responds in kind, gripping her waist and pulling her in—Lena squeaks, startled, and Kara jerks away immediately.

“I’m sorry—are you okay? Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry—“

“Kara.” Lena rests both palms on Kara’s cheeks, stilling her frantic search for any injuries. “I’m fine. You just caught me off guard.” She furrows her brows, pushing her fingers into Kara’s hair. “What’s wrong?”

Kara tries to unwind with the comforting strokes.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m sorry, I was just… worried I hurt you.”

Lena brings her hands back around to cup Kara’s jaw and tilt her face up to meet her eyes.

“You haven’t been this afraid to be firm with me since we first got together,” she teases gently. “You’ve been treating me like glass lately. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Kara sighs again. “I’m always trying to be careful with my strength.”

Lena’s mouth twists unhappily.

“It’s not just your strength. You keep making over the top romantic gestures—“she nods at the pancakes again—“and you’ve been so… timid, almost. Like you’re afraid of upsetting me.”

Kara tries for a cheeky grin. “I can’t be extra nice to my girlfriend who’s been through a lot lately?”

She knows she’s said the wrong thing when Lena’s heartbeat picks up and there’s a small hitch to her breath that she wouldn’t have heard without supersenses. Lena’s frowns and there’s just the slightest tremble in her hands against Kara’s face.

“Kara,” she starts, eyes flickering over the blonde's features. “Did I do something wrong?”

And that, that burns terrible in Kara’s chest. She wants to surge forward and kiss all of Lena’s doubts away, kiss her hard until there’s no room for any wavering thoughts, but fear hooks into her heart and she just fists her hands into her sweatpants.

“No, no, of course not—“ Kara can see the uncertainty on Lena’s face. “It’s not you, Lena. You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just…”

Lena waits patiently, thumb smoothing over Kara’s cheekbones.

“I’m just…” Kara squeezes her eyes shut and sighs in frustration again. “When… When I got angry at you the other night, I…”

She still remembers it like a wound. The fury roiling in her gut, the way she heard Lena’s heart race, saw her flinch and shrink in fear—

The way she saw she was scaring Lena and she just didn’t _care_.

“I’m sorry,” is all she can manage.

There’s a pause where Lena’s hands just rest on Kara’s jaw, just the two of them breathing, before Lena sighs and threads a hand through her hair again.

“Baby,” she whispers, and Kara’s heart jumps because Lena hardly ever uses that term of endearment, “You have nothing to be sorry for. Couples fight. And you have to admit, we make _quite_ the pair,” she says with a small, twinkling smile.

“It’s not the same,” Kara grumbles. “I could…” she swallows. “It’s not safe for me to get angry.”

“And you take your precautions,” Lena insists, running her hands through Kara’s hair softly, over and over again. “You keep your distance. You would never do anything that could hurt people.”

“But it matters that I _can,_ Lena,” she says, willing herself to pull away from Lena’s soft strokes but not being able to. “I _could_ hurt someone badly so I can’t just get angry like that—“

“And I admire you for that, okay?” Lena cups her chin. “You are so conscious of how you carry yourself as Supergirl, and it’s commendable. But you shouldn’t have to be like that around me.”

Kara takes a breath but Lena taps a thumb over the protest rising to her lips.

“Kara, listen. I was being ridiculously stupid and hurting you instead of being honest.” Lena smiles ruefully. “You had every right to be angry with me. I want you to feel like you can speak your mind.”

Kara wants to tug her face away. “It’s not the same. And I can’t just ignore that.”

Lena sighs and takes a small step forward, pushing more snugly against Kara and ghosting her lips over Kara’s forehead. “And you don’t. You step away, you try not to grab anything, you take every precaution you can.” She threads her fingers through Kara’s hair again, rubbing gently at the base of her skull. “And maybe that’s not enough for someone else, but it is for me.”

The kiss that follows is so soft, so gentle, Kara hesitantly rests her hands on Lena’s hips again and feels her smile against her mouth.

“I don’t want you to push any of your feelings down on my behalf, darling. I don’t need you to be anyone else so I can feel safe.” She leans in and crosses her arms slightly behind Kara. “Just be you. I can only hope I’m enough to make you feel like you can be yourself around me.”

She presses her face into Lena’s chest at that, because it feels like there’s molten gold swirling in her chest and the sound of Lena’s heartbeat is the only thing keeping her from being flitted away by the butterflies in her stomach.

“I love you,” she murmurs, because the words well up in her chest like a breath held too long. She doesn’t wait for Lena’s heart to stutter, for guilt to tick away in her head so hard Kara can almost hear it—she just leans up into a kiss, pulling Lena in towards her so that it’s just the two of them; close, warm, so _alive_.

 _Zhao’iv-odh w’rrip, Lena. Kehp-odh rrip w’khap’i’zhor_.

* * *

 

“Long night?”

Maggie looks up to see Alex sauntering over to her desk with a tray of coffee and a smirk, and she thinks that Jesus himself couldn’t look more like a saviour if he tried.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” she groans, yanking her coffee out of the tray before it even touches down on her desk. Alex laughs at her, sitting on the edge of her desk, but she couldn’t care less.

“Got you doughnut holes too,” her girlfriend continues, rattling the paper bag lightly.

“I love you,” she says when Alex drops the bag on her desk, earning herself another laugh.

“Whoah there, Sawyer, we’re moving a little fast here.”

Maggie rolls her eyes and chucks one of her pens at a smirking Alex before stuffing two doughnut holes in her mouth.

“Asshole,” she chuckles around a mouthful of pastries. Alex pretends to be disgusted, but it only lasts a second before her wrings her hands bashfully the way she does sometimes.

“I love you too.”

It’s so quiet that Maggie almost doesn’t hear it. She thinks about teasing for a brief moment before just deciding to bask in the shy affection. Alex coughs and crosses her arms to pretend the moment never happened.

“How’re you holding up?”

Maggie groans into her sip of coffee. “Between the captain breathing down my neck about two unsolved alien homicides and the spike in anti-alien hate crimes, it’s been a literal hellhole around here.”

Alex frowns. “Has it spiked that bad?”

“Yeah.” Maggie slumps back in her chair. “You know how it goes. Someone with a big platform talks shit and all the bigots get confident and come crawling out of the woodwork.”

“Mmph. And I’m guess Lena’s statements haven’t helped enough.”

Maggie shakes her head. “I mean, it’s appreciated. L-Corp’s twitter team has to have at least five people on it full-time from the looks of their twenty-four-seven fire-backs to assholes,” she chuckles. “But it’s hard to discourage people who’re dead set on being stupid fucks.”

Alex sighs, shifting her arms. “Fuck. How bad is it?”

“No one’s been killed so far, thankfully. Just a lot of injuries.”

“How’s the clinic handling the influx?”

Maggie grins a bit at that, the thought of Alex going from reaching for her gun at an alien bar to being worried about the general populace is heartwarming.

“They’ll be fine. Apparently Luthor made a large personal donation.” She snorts. “Don’t tell Kris, though. She’s been raving to Tony about how she got to be Lena’s charades partner already. He was ready to strangle me when he found out I let a Luthor near his kid.”

She chews down another handful of doughnut as Alex laughs.

“Sounds like she’s caught a case of hero worship.”

“Yeah,” Maggie chortles. “I’m not so sold on it, though.”

Alex’s brows shoot up.

“A week ago you were the one telling me to give her a chance.” She tilts her head just the slightest bit, a habit she’ll never admit to picking up from Kara. “What changed?”

Maggie leans in on her elbow and lets out her best irritated sigh.

“I’m surprised you don’t have more of a problem with it, honestly. You saw them at game night. Little Danvers is head over heels for her.”

Alex shrugs. “Kara can make her own decisions.”

Maggie rolls her eyes. “I wasn’t talking about that. The problem is that I’ve personally seen Supergirl get handsy with Luthor.” She grits her teeth before taking a slow sip of her coffee, watching Alex shift uncomfortably. “I’m half ready to go ask her what her idea is myself.”

Alex, to her credit, only sighs and averts her eyes, mouth opening and closing over words that don’t pass the test. Maggie just sits back in her chair with a hard frown, watching her girlfriend squirm.

“Well, I mean, it’s Kara’s business—“

“You serious?” Maggie scoffs. “Lena Luthor could very well be double timing Kara and Supergirl, why aren’t you more concerned about this?”

Alex runs a hand over her face, eyes screwed shut and brain obviously running hoops trying to come up with a plausible explanation—it’s adorable and Maggie ends up cracking.

The agent’s eyes shoot open sharply at the quiet snort. Maggie gives it up.

“I’m just fucking with you,” she laughs, lightly slapping her thigh. “God, your face was priceless.”

It still is, kind of. Alex’s hand is still clasped over the bottom half of her face, eyes narrowed dangerously, frozen in confusion.

“What are you…”

“Pfft,” Maggie rolls her eyes. “Her disguise is a pair of glasses, Danvers.”

There’s a pause where Alex looks like she’s about to deny it still but then she sighs and crosses her arms again.

“I keep telling her, it’s terrible,” she says with a defeated laugh.

“Who knew,” Maggie says, finishing off her coffee. “Both Danvers sisters have _fantastic_ taste in women.”

“Oh my _god,”_ Alex’s reaction is immediate and hilarious. She grimaces into her hand and turns away, groaning. “Please never make comments on my sister’s dating life.”

Maggie only cackles at Alex’s suffering.

“Sawyer!” A woman calls to them from the other side of the bullpen, looking particularly frustrated as she buckles on her gear. “Incident on Main street, you’re coming with me.”

“Yes, Captain!” Maggie snaps to attention before hurriedly stuffing the last of the doughnut holes in her mouth. Alex laughs.

“Remember to breathe.”

Maggie rolls her eyes. “Oh no, what would I do without you,” she quips around her mouthful, gathering her stuff. Alex just shakes her head, uncrossing her arms and standing up. Maggie swallows her food and draws her jacket around herself, getting up as well.

“See you later, babe.”

“Bye. Have fun.”

Maggie pouts. “Without you? Never.”

“Oh my god.” Alex kisses her. “You’re disgusting.”

“Love you too.”

* * *

 

When Kara steps into Lena’s office at noon, Jess is glaring squarely out the windows while yelling into her phone.

Well, not _yelling_ , technically. It’s more of a scathing soliloquy delivered with a sharp sardonic edge and only the barest of rise in volume, but Kara imagines that from the perspective of whoever’s on the other side of the line, she may as well be shouting profanities.

“—And I invite you to let me know when you find another patent capable of reproducing even a fraction of the efficiency that our engines can, Mr. Lawson, but until then I would advise that you stick to the terms of our contract. It would be absolutely no trouble for L-Corp to find another customer should you break off the deal, but I imagine that you can’t afford to lose the business right now.” Jess delivers that last line with a sarcastic, imperious lilt, and it’s kind of nice when she turns to see Kara and her sneer drops immediately into a relieved pout. “Excuse me. I have other matters to attend to presently, but please think on what we’ve discussed today.”

She doesn’t so much hang up as cut the line before dropping the phone onto her desk and sighing.

“Miss Danvers,” she says as Kara walks up with a smile. “What can I do for you?”

And Kara raises a brow at the formal address—Jess doesn’t look all that haggard, with her blazer and hair still in order, but Kara can tell from the stiffness in her shoulders that the girl is tired to the bone.

“Just stopping by with some food,” Kara says, laying down the container in her hands on the desk. “I thought you might be too busy to grab anything right now.”

Jess opens the container, fingers light on the styrofoam, before seeing the contents and sighing deeply. Kara happily notes how the tension drains from her frame, albeit not completely.

“The har gow and siu may combo is still your favourite, right?”

“This,” Jess says, glancing up at Kara. “This is why all your friends fall in love with you, Kara. You’re too nice for your own good.”

Kara just laughs as she takes a seat, opening her own container.

“Don’t you start too.”

Jess snorts as she sits as well and snaps her chopsticks apart. “You’re not my type.”

“What, not blue enough for you?”

Kara claps a hand over her mouth as Jess chokes on her rice, stifling her giggles. Jess hits her chest a few times and swallows laboriously before glaring.

“I’m glad you find this funny.”

Kara tucks a few more laughs behind her hand before making a facetious show of trying to regain her composure.

“Anyway. I’m actually here because Lena sent me.”

Jess blinks. “Lena?”

Kara nods. “Yeah. She wanted to make sure you ate lunch, but she said it’d be bad if she were photographed near the building.”

“Oh.” Jess dips her dumpling in sauce thoughtfully before pushing it into her mouth. “How—how is she?”

Kara grins at how much Jess’s awkward dancing around gestures of affection reminds her of Lena.

“She’s fine. Doing great, actually.”

Jess hums. “She looked a lot… happier when I saw her the other day.”

“Yeah.” Kara smiles fondly. “I think getting away from it all has been really good for her. She’s getting to spend more time on herself and it’s really nice to see.”

“Good. Tell her the next time I see her checking in I’m going to lock her out of the company network.”

Kara laughs. “You can do that?”

“On paper, no.” The way she deadpans the statement has Kara giggling again.

“I’ll be sure to let her know.” She stuffs her last dumpling in her mouth. “How have you been?”

“Really stressed,” she sighs. “I have to leave my cat home alone most of the time because I’m nearly always working and Peebee’s usually out at the clinic. And god, if being a CEO means arguing with entitled manbabies all day then I never want to do this ever again.”

Kara snorts. “You know, most people spend a good portion of their life daydreaming about being in your position.”

“It’s probably a cushy position if you’re a white male who isn’t fishing a company out of a scandal,” she huffs. “I’m only getting through it because I know it’s only temporary.”

“I mean, are you sure you want it to be temporary?”

Jess stops dead in her tracks and slowly raises her eyes in a blank stare. “Why are you asking.”

“Well, it’s just,” Kara says, squirming a bit because _wow_ she’s forgotten how unsettling Jess’s blank stare can be. She hasn’t been on the receiving end since she and Lena started dating. “Lena was talking about how good you are at this and how you’re single-handedly saving L-Corp.” Not even a facial twitch. “And, you know, she said that if she ever wanted to retire she’d know that the company was in good hands.”

Jess doesn’t say anything for a moment. Even her heartbeat is unnervingly steady.

“If she abdicates the company to me I’m going to fucking kill her,” she mutters quietly before calmly going back to picking at her rice.

Kara nearly chokes on her own spit as she laughs.

“That bad?”

Jess sighs. “It’s not the near-death experience I thought it’d be, I guess. Besides, I’m not ‘single-handedly’ saving L-Corp.” She makes air quotes with her chopsticks still wedged expertly in her hand. “It’s mainly me and about ten other people who rushed to the office when the news broke. Unlike _someone_ , I know how to delegate.”

Kara smiles, realigning her chopsticks. It’s just… nice to know how many people Lena has without knowing it, how much she inspires other people without even thinking herself worthy.

They both jump when a loud siren goes off and a firetruck goes screaming by the street below them. Kara’s barely got an excuse planned when Jess closes her container and grimaces.

“I’m sorry, Kara, I don’t mean to chase you out but I completely forgot I have a video conference in like thirty seconds.”

“No, no, that’s fine!” Kara hurriedly grabs her empty container and bag, already edging towards the door. “Sorry to keep you, see you later!”

It doesn’t hit her as odd until she’s taking off from the alley, that Jess suddenly gave her a perfect opportunity to rush out. She couldn’t know, right? Then again, Jess knows the half-truth already. And the number of people who seem to have quietly figured it out seems to be growing—Maggie’s already dropped a few hints and Kara’s pretty sure she knows. She groans as she pictures the lecture she’ll get from J’onn before she tries to focus on the task at hand.

She lands heavily on the pavement right as her earpiece rings.

“Alex?”

“Supergirl, there’s a situation—“

“Give me a second,” she says, marching towards the firemen. “I have to put out a fire on 38th avenue and I’ll be right with you.”

“Fire? But there’s no fire there?”

“What?” Kara grimaces. “Check the dispatch feed again, I’m standing right here with the firemen—“

The lieutenant turns to her and there’s a flash of red, then nothing.

* * *

 

“Ta… Ta’nahn rraop—“ Lucy stutters again and swears under her breath.

“Ta’nahn rraop w’bem,” Lois repeats, smiling as she points to the pronunciation chart. “You’re not supposed to roll your ‘r’ there.”

“I’m trying,” Lucy groans, holding her face and laughing listlessly. She takes a deep breath and looks at all the study sheets scattered on the coffee table, scrawled over with Lois’s handwriting and incessant circling of parts Lucy couldn’t get.

“You know what? How about I just don’t talk around the baby?”

Lois raises a brow. “Really, Luce?”

Lucy just groans-laughs again. “It was worth a try.” She looks up to see Lois smiling at her softly, the afternoon light shining off the features that they share—the sun-blessed tan skin, the smooth dark hair, the grey-green eyes.

“What are you staring at?” she quips with a smirk.

She expects Lois to snort and say something amicably derogatory, but the older Lane just grins and tucks a stray curl behind Lucy’s ear.

“My baby sister,” she says, something almost like pride colouring her voice.

(And for a moment they’re kids again, Lois walking Lucy through her homework in their shared room, no absent mothers, no yelling fathers, no years of silence.)

“I’m hurt, Lois,” a voice says behind them and every vein in her body goes ice cold as she jerks up from the sofa and stands in front of her sister. “You’re having Clark’s baby and you didn’t even tell me?”

“Lex,” Lois breathes, and the man himself just shifts before smiling at them pleasantly. He folds his hands in front of him over his pristine charcoal suit and Lucy grits her teeth.

“How the _hell_ did you get in here,” she growls, glancing at her gun hung up on the far side of the room.

“I had some help.” Lex nods to the two men standing by his side. “I’m sorry, where are my manners—I don’t believe we’ve met,” he says, grinning. “You must be Lois’s little sister.”

She edges backwards, holding her arm out behind her to shield Lois. “I have agents on the perimeter. What did you do to them?”

Lex sighs, almost seeming disappointed with his introductions being cut short, before pocketing his hands and tilting his head.

“They were being quite belligerent, so I had to deal with them.” He leans forward slightly with an apologetic smile. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Her gut twists. Johnson and Santiago came to work, expecting a normal day guarding Lucy’s apartment, and god knows what’s happened to them now.

Her mind is running through all the scenarios, and it’s not looking good. There are three armed men in front of her and her own gun is more than ten paces away, impossible to draw before she’s shot down. She doesn’t have a fighting chance unless—

The door slams open and she hears the telltale screech of a DEO issue flashbang about to detonate—she turns and throws her arms over Lois, yanking them both down with Lois’s head cradled to her chest, waiting until the grenade flashes loud.

“ _Stay down_ ,” she hisses at Lois before jumping at the three men now clutching their eyes. Vasquez is already disarming one of the goons and slamming him onto the ground—Lucy grabs Lex’s arm to twist him around before kicking him sharply in the back of the knees and clenching her arm around his neck.

“ _Don’t move,_ ” she snarls, looking up to check the situation—Vasquez has the other goon down too, with probably a broken leg. Lex claws at her arm for a moment before breaking into hysterical laughter—Lucy watches in horror as he transforms into a scrawnier man with matted blonde hair.

“Lex Luthor sends his regards,” he chokes out before going limp. He thumps into the ground as soon as Lucy lets him go, and when she turns him over there’s a sickly yellow foam at his mouth. She presses her fingers into his neck.

“They’re dead, ma’am,” Vasquez says, looking up from a similar check. All three of them are, indeed, lifeless on the ground with the same jaundiced foam and Lucy curses.

“What about Johnson and Santiago—“

“Both in stable condition,” Vasquez reassures her as they both rise to their feet.

“What the _hell_ happened, agent?” She hisses, heart still thundering in her chest.

“I came over with a team as soon as Santiago pressed his panic button,” Vasquez replies dutifully. “The Venati most likely disguised themselves as service staff to get inside.”

Lucy runs a hand over her face, limbs still shuddering with violence, teeth grit so hard her jaw hurts.

“I need you to report to Director Henshaw ASAP—tell him that we need to call in Superman and move Lois to a secure location. Lex Luthor is after her.”

Vasquez salutes. “I’ll have the team come up to collect the bodies.” She marches out the door with that, and Lucy strides over to strap her equipment on.

“Grab a bag and a few clothes, we don’t have much time,” she rattles off, checking her gun and ammunition pouch. “I don’t know how, but if he has Venati under his control, we can’t trust anyone and we can’t stay here.” She nearly drops her comms device from how violently she’s trying to jam it into her ear. “We can prep at the DEO, Clark will probably want to take you to the Fortress—“

“Luce,” Lois murmurs, grabbing Lucy’s arm and not letting go even when she flinches. “I’m fine. It’s over. You saved me.”

Lucy doesn’t say anything, still buzzing with the need to _move_ , to fight, to get out of there—but Lois grabs her other arm and pulls her into a hug, and things slow down. It’s like she’s suddenly wading through a viscous pile of anxiety and anger and _fear_ , and her shaking hands come up to hold Lois.

“I just got you back,” she whispers through a sob clutching at her throat. “I just got you back, and I will _die_ before I let that son of a bitch take you away from me.”

Lois squeezes her tight, so tight it’s almost hard for either of them to breathe but Lucy doesn’t care.

“It’s okay, Luce, you did it. You saved me,” she says again, running her hands over Lucy’s back. “You kept me safe. My little soldier.”

Lucy muffles a cry in her sister’s shoulder.

* * *

 

When the Lane sisters finally get to the DEO downtown HQ, Clark is there to wrap Lois into his arms and Alex is just about ready to cry. Because apparently Lex Luthor is out of prison, his Venati followers all have cyanide pills in their mouths, and the only reason they know anything is because Maxwell Lord limped into the building an hour ago with a gunshot wound in his shoulder, bargaining information for protection.

He had his stupid face screwed up in that remorseful frown that he does when for once, he’s actually genuinely sorry, just the way he is when his stupid fucking plans go awry, like they always do, and she was _this_ close to twisting his arm around and making him bleed out faster but J’onn had him taken to the medical bay before she could do anything.

Worst of all, Kara’s missing. Kara’s line went dead a full _hour_ ago and they haven’t been able to get a single ping on her location since, so yes, Alex is just about ready to lose her mind and cry. But she doesn’t, she just white-knuckles the edge of the briefing table and pushes her mind into overdrive because Alex isn’t very well-versed in persevering through tears, but she is very, _very_ good at being angry.

Lucy walks up to the table and grips it much like Alex does, setting her jaw. “Report.”

“Seventy-two minutes ago, Maxwell Lord called the DEO requesting extraction from his facility while under heavy injuries. J’onn is dealing him right now but we’ve been able to ascertain that he was responsible for breaking Lex Luthor out of prison.”

“He _what,”_ Lucy growls.

Alex takes a deep breath. “It gets worse. He’s somehow managed to secure the loyalty of the Venati—“

“To a fanatical point, yeah, we know,” Lucy hisses, crossing her arms. “We were attacked by three of them at my apartment, one of them taking Luthor’s form. He knows Lois is pregnant with Superman’s child and he’s after her.”

Clark swears. “Do we know where he is?”

Alex shakes her head. “Not yet. Our best guess is that he’s still somewhere in National city, but that could be a complete fluke.”

“Dammit, do we even know how much manpower he has?”

“Not until Mcfuckwad Lord is done bargaining a deal for information,” Winn chimes in angrily from his desk, typing away furiously. “So we’re running blind, and I still can’t find Kara.”

“Kara’s _missing?”_ Clark shouts, hands balling into fists.

“She went MIA an hour ago—“ Alex begins, but then he turns on her and she’s staring at enraged blue eyes.

“You were supposed to keep her _safe.”_

She leans in with a snarl just as menacing.

 _“You do not get to say that to me,_ ” she hisses, and he falters, but only slightly.

“Sweetheart,” Lois warns quietly, laying a hand on his arm, and he turns away to run a hand over his face before breathing in deeply.

“We need to prep a transport for Lois and spread as many agents as we can spare to find Kara—“

“I’m sorry, _we?_ Last time I checked the Man of Steel was too good to work with us—“

 _“That’s enough!”_ Lucy roars. “I am the officer in chief here,” she hisses to Alex, before turning on Clark. “And you _will_ cooperate if you want to keep your family safe.”

“You’re going to want to listen to her,” Lord says, limping out of the med bay at J’onn’s side. “Things aren’t looking too good.”

“Do tell, Mr. Lord,” Lucy sneers. “Seeing as you’re the one responsible for this mess.”

He finally reaches the briefing table and does that _stupid_ sorry frown. “I didn’t know this would happen, okay? I didn’t intend for a murderer to go free.”

“The moral fiber of your intentions can be discussed in court, Mr. Lord. Just tell us what you know.”

He lets out a resigned sigh, and Alex wonders if she’s justified in wanting to smash his head in at everything little thing that he does.

“I made a deal with him—he’d get Lena Luthor out of the picture so I could make a deal with the alien clinic instead, and I would bust him out of jail. You have to understand, I was never planning to let him go free—I was just going to return him after a while to make things look better for Lord Technologies.”

“Which was a moronic plan to begin with,” Winn chimes in again. Lord grits his teeth before snorting.

“It was for the good of humanity. I had to get that clinic—“

“So you could go on your eugenics crusade, yes, we know, someone else also had that brilliant idea seventy years ago,” Alex quips.

Lord’s nostrils flare. “Trying to protect humanity is nothing like the—“

“Mr. Lord, my family has a bit of a been there done that relationship with people who think like you,” Alex interrupts. “So if you could get to the point it would be much appreciated.”

Lord opens his mouth to argue again but Lucy cuts him off this time.

“That’s an order, Mr. Lord. Your protection hinges on your cooperation.”

He grips the briefing table and glares briefly before moving on.

“One of my workers was a Venati in disguise. He slipped a key to Lex, glamoured as a piece of candy—about twenty of them showed up to extract him.”

“I’m guessing that’s why they framed Lena Luthor. Under Lex’s orders,” Alex spat bitterly. “How the hell is he controlling them?”

Lord shakes his head. “He’s not. They’re loyal to him because he promised them safe passage off the planet.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” J’onn says. “He wants all alien life wiped from earth, why would he offer a deal to a species with very dangerous abilities?”

“They seem to be under the impression that because they don’t want to remain on earth, he’s willing to help them get off his planet and leave humanity alone.” Lord clutches at his shoulder again, grimacing. “Though I have to admit they might be being a bit gullible.”

“ _Might_ be?” Clark scoffs. “They’re being played. You can never trust a Luthor.”

Alex wants to tell him to shut up but she doesn’t have the energy to get into that line of argument right now.

“Yes!” Winn jumps up, rushing towards them with his tablet. “I got a ping on Kara’s earpiece—she’s in the abandoned LuthorCorp building in Metropolis?”

The lights suddenly die, the entire building humming with a long keen winding down—everyone stares at each other, illuminated only by the light of Winn’s tablet, before dim red lights lurch on, the emergency power status blinking on the main screen.

“Literally the worst time for a blackout ever,” Winn groans.

“But there’s no earthquake or storm,” Lucy says. “What just happened?”

“Mmph.” Winn opens up a few screens, scowling. “Looks like someone’s shut down the entire city. The main municipal power grid is completely down.”

He zooms in, but then the screen goes fuzzy for a moment, coming back with an error window.

“Oh, no, no, no, don’t do this,” Winn whines, tapping furiously at it. “Oh, come on, don’t do this to me…”

Lucy frowns and rounds the table to get to his side, leaning over his shoulder.

“What’s going on, Agent?”

“Communications are totally jammed,” he says, opening and closing multiple windows. “I’m trying to tap into the city mainframe but I can’t even get past anything that isn’t hardwired in this building.”

“Even the private DEO servers?” J’onn says, leaning over on his other side to watch him try to hack into the signal settings.

Winn nods. “Wifi, phone signals, hell, I think even cable’s been cut out,” he groans. “We’ve gone completely dark.”

“Dammit,” Lucy mutters, running a hand through her hair. Alex almost doesn’t see it shake in the dim light—the pulsing red casts crimson shadows on the black fabric of Lucy’s uniform, on and off, on and off.

It’s J’onn’s hand that comes to rest heavily on her shoulder. “Director Lane,” He says gravely. “Requesting orders.”

And it’s the calm way he says it is telling. When he could very much have taken charge at that moment and not been questioned he squares his shoulders and puts his faith in her, brings her back from the brink of panic. Lucy stares back at him, blinking once before nodding and letting the steel set back in her eyes.

“Agent Danvers, Director J’onzz,” she says, putting her hands back on the table. “You’ll take a team to Metropolis to extract Supergirl. Vasquez and I will prep a transport vehicle for Superman and Lois.”

“No,” Superman jumps in. “I should be going with you to get Kara—“

“You absolutely should not, Superman,” Lucy says. “If they were able to incapacitate Supergirl, then we need to assume they have the means to incapacitate a Kryptonian. You’ll be in too much danger if we send you there.”

“And I might be in danger if I go with you,” he snaps back. “If they have kryptonite—“

“Then Director J’onzz can handle it,” Lucy cuts him off firmly. “We’re going to need you to get into the Fortress of Solitude, Superman.”

He stills—if Lex Luthor is truly out there, the Kryptonian defense systems of the Fortress might just be the only things that can keep him away from Lois while the DEO tries to neutralize him. Lois threads her fingers through his and squeezes.

“Agent Schott, I need you and the rest of the technicians to work on restoring power and communications—“

“Ma’am, you can’t come in here!“

“Please, I need to see Agent Danvers—“

They look up at the commotion to see Lena Luthor struggling against a few agents— her heels clack noisily against the floor and Alex straightens up quickly to cross over to her.

“What is _she_ doing here—“ Clark starts to snarl, but Lois places a hand on his chest.

“Sweetie, we talked about this. She’s fine.”

Alex tunes out of the rest of the conversation as she approaches, watching the relief wash over Lena’s face as she waves the agents away.

“Lena,” she breathes, grabbing her elbow. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry,” she starts, gnawing at her lip, and Alex notices her eyes are bloodshot. “I know I’m not supposed to know about this place but I haven’t been able to get a hold of Kara for the past while and when the blackout happened I knew something was wrong—“

“Hey, calm down.” Alex squeezes her arm as she starts to lead them both outside. “We’re handling it.”

Underneath the steely posture—underneath the hard veneer that Alex is getting better at looking past, Lena looks so fragile. Her hands are shaking just the slightest bit, eyes red and sunken, breath brittle—and Alex almost laughs at how much she reminds Alex of herself, completely broken up underneath a semblance of control.

“What’s happening?”

Wide green eyes stare at her and she can’t find it in herself to lie.

“I need you to stay calm, okay?” Alex sighs. “Your brother escaped from jail.”

She sees Lena’s neck tendons flex and her jaw clench, in pain, or defiance, or both.

“He has Kara,” she says, her voice taking on a raspy edge.

“We’re handling it,” Alex says again, leading her out the doors gently. “Her comms pinged in Metropolis. We’re getting a team together to get her back.”

Lena scowls. “You can’t seriously expect me to sit and do _nothing_ —“

“I expect you to stay safe,” Alex cuts in, crossing her arms. “You’re a target for him too, remember? I need you to go straight back to Kara’s apartment. We have agents posted around there, and it’ll be safer than your own place. Okay?”

She watches Lena closely, trying to pry a confirmation from the stubborn woman—because now that she’s seen the way Kara and Lena look at each other, she knows that her sister would be so heartbroken if she let anything happen to Lena and Alex isn’t sure if she could live with that.

Lena finally looks away and nods, gathering her coat around herself almost angrily, and Alex lets herself breathe.

“You’ll be the first to know when we get Kara back.” When, not if. “So go straight home and sit tight, okay?”

Lena nods again, taking a deep breath before opening her eyes and looking back up at Alex.

“I will. Thank you, Alex.”

* * *

 

Lena, of course, does not go straight home.

Instead she jumps into her car with the engine that she’s perfecting and guns it down to the L-Corp building, speeding through the empty streets—with the sun set and the traffic lights out, no one but her is stupid enough to be out on the roads.

Her head is thrumming, and she can’t think—she can’t afford to think right now, she can’t afford to let all the panic leak and stain her thoughts until she’s just a tear-sodden mess—she needs to fix this.

The L-Corp building is bustling with employees heading home, being herded out of the building for the day—it shines like a beacon on the dark street, fully lit with the cutting edge backup generator. She storms in, pushing past the flow of bodies and stares.

“Daniel,” she says, walking over to the reception desk. “Is Jess in?”

“Yes, Miss Luthor,” he gulps, shuffling his things into his bag. “She’s in the communications lab trying to figure out this blackout—“

“Thank you, Daniel,” she says, storming off to the elevators.

She finds Jess hunched over the L-Corp mainframe, cursing up a storm as she orders the other lab workers around.

“I don’t have the _time_ to coach you on high-school level programming, Larry—Jaime, come here and take over,” she barks, scowling fiercely until she turns to see Lena walking up to her.

“Miss Luthor,” she breathes. “What are you doing here—“

“It’s Lex,” she dives into it immediately.

Jess only takes a second to process it. “ _Fuck._ How did he get out?”

“It doesn’t matter. Do you think you can break through the jammer?”

“I’m close,” Jess says through gritted teeth. “I just need to narrow down where the jamming signal is coming from, but that’s hard with all our satellites down—“

The screens screw up all of a sudden, screeching in white noise before clearing up into a picture of that annoying disembodied head that CADMUS was so fond of.

“Greetings, National City,” it says, and Jess wordlessly gets to re-wiring one of the monitors. “By now you will have noticed that all your communication and power has been shut off. Do not panic. It’s all for the protection of humanity.”

The screen fuzzes and then focuses on an image of—

Of Kara. Bruised and bloody. Chained to some sort of machine that’s glowing red, on the dirty floor of what looks like a warehouse. Her lip is busted open and there’s a fresh bruise over her eye, and god no she’s _not healing—_

She feels like there’s a titanium vice gripping her chest and Lena tries to remember how to breathe.

“Tonight, you will witness the death of a god. You will witness that they can be killed, that we are not so powerless against them. Tonight, I will give you faith, and I will give you bravery—I will give you the hope you need to rise up against the alien menace together.”

The broadcast cuts off, and Lena grips the back of one of the chairs, trying to steady herself. There’s this wobbling weight in her chest and throat, shaking in the hollows of her shoulders as she tries to shake off the image—Kara is in danger, Kara is hurt, Kara is hurt because of _Lex—_

And it’s all too much because she doesn’t know this Lex. She can imagine the younger Lex, _her brother_ in a myriad of situations, what he might say, how he would laugh, but this—this cold man, this murderer, she’s only seen in court raging against Superman. And that’s where he stayed in her mind—this untethered memory, far away from Kara, from National City, from this new life she’s been building herself but—

Now it’s all too close, now it’s a devastating collision what _shouldn’t be_ and what _is_. Lena clenches her eyes against the tears burning in the back of her eyes.

_For Kara._

“Did you get him?” She asks Jess, opening her eyes.

“Almost,” Jess scowls, tapping her keys to zoom in. “He cut off before I could pinpoint it exactly but the broadcast came from the pier—“

“The pier?” Lena leans over her shoulder. “But Alex said—“ She sucks in a brittle breath. “Are you sure?”

Jess nods. “Positive. He’s using a variation of L-Corp broadcasting software—I’d recognize my work anywhere.”

Lena’s nails dig into her palm. He’s sent them on a red herring. He has Kara down at the docks and the only people who can help her are on their way out of the city—

“How fast can you break through the jammer?”

“Half an hour,” Jess says, already typing away.

“And the power?”

“Our generator has enough to power the city for another fifty years—the problem is that the city’s system won’t be able to handle the amount of output that would come out of the building. We’d fry everything.”

“Dammit.” She swears she’s going to pressure the mayor into letting her re-wire the entire city after this. “What about powering a few segments?”

Jess catches on. “Yes, that would work—I’ll re-route some power to the basic infrastructure, and the hospitals—“

“Make sure to get the police and fire stations as well. People will be hurt.”

“On it.”

Lena nods. “Good.” She scribbles down the number for Alex’s DEO phone. “Call this number the second that you get through the signal—it’s Agent Danvers, and you need to tell her that Supergirl is in National City.”

“Yes ma’am—“ Jess rises up and follows her as she starts to storm out of the room. “Wait, where are you going?”

“I’m going to stop him,” Lena says simply.

“What?” Jess jogs to catch up to her, pulling her to a stop by the elbow. “Are you insane? He’s armed and—did you even see how many goons he had around Supergirl in the feed?”

“Jess, I just need you to focus on breaking through—“

“ _No._ It’s a stupid fucking idea and you know it.” She squeezes her arm even tighter. “You don’t even know which dock he has her at, I couldn’t pinpoint it—“

Lena shakes her head sadly. “You and I both know exactly which one she’s in. He was always one for theatrics.”

Jess doesn’t relent, only gripping her arm tighter.

“I don’t care if you order me to stop or threaten to fire me, I am not letting you go,” she hisses. “You’re going to get yourself fucking killed, Lena!”

And Lena looks up at that, because that’s literally the first time Jess has addressed her by anything other than ‘Miss Luthor’—Jess, who’s glaring at her with a teary snarl and worried defiance, Jess, who is more her friend and less her employee than she’s ever been before.

Lena lays a hand over the one clutching her arm.

“I’m not ordering you. I’m asking you, Jess,” she says, softer this time. “Please let me go.”

Jess wavers, but not by much because if there’s anything that they have in common it’s how stubborn they are.

“I can’t just sit here and be helpless while she’s in danger,” she pleads, quietly acknowledging Kara’s identity for the first time to Jess because Lena knows she’s figured it out by now, Lena knows she’ll understand. “Please.”

Jess shakes her head. “You are _not_ going into a warehouse with your brother alone.”

“I won’t be alone.” Lena stands straight and clasps their hands tighter. “I have you.”

Jess looks like she’s about to cry, mouth tensing against an insistent crumple.

“I can’t do _anything_ to help you if you run off like this.”

“You already are. There are people out there who need your help—people you’ll be saving by re-routing the power. And once we can get a message out to the DEO, they’ll send in a strike team. The only thing I can do right now is to buy her some more time.”

And Jess grips on a little bit tighter for a moment, jaw clenching almost painfully, before she slowly, slowly lets Lena go.

“Do _not_ do anything stupid, Lena, I swear to god,” she hisses, drawing her hand away and stepping back.

Lena nods, smiling—they’ve come so far, now.

“Thank you, Jess.”

Her friend gives her one last look before rushing back into the lab. Lena steps into the elevator and bites her lip the entire way to the top, bursting into her office and emptying her coat pockets haphazardly on the floor while she opens her safe.

She grabs the two smoke grenades; puff grenades, Jess likes to call them, on account of their immediate denotation mechanism to cut down the time it takes for the smoke to actually obscure an area. A taser glove—anti-conducive transparent silicone with a tasing mechanism in the centre, for maximum shock and stealth. (Yes, they’d stopped making weapons long ago, but Lena was only considering a few self-defence scenarios.) She slips it on snugly while she reaches for the only black body field generator grenade that they’ve been able to manufacture.

There’s a part of her that slows down as she wraps her fingers around the small, palm-sized device—she remembers the gala, when her first prototype of it was sitting underneath the table, she remembers the pulse, she remembers the way Supergirl beamed at her and she felt like she was tripping into the sun.

She holds the memory and the grenade to her chest for a moment before slipping it into the third pocket of her coat. No time for that now. She has to get going—there’s nothing else that can help her right now, unless—

She looks at the black cloth folded neatly on one of the safe’s shelves. One last thing. She’ll have to be fast.

* * *

 

“Am I really being put through the gauntlet of people trying to tell me how stupid I’m being?” she asks skeptically when she reaches her car, only to be stopped from getting in by none other than Guardian. “I don’t have time for this.”

“Lena Luthor,” he rasps, arms crossed over his imposing frame. “Where are you going?”

“Down to the docks. Lex is holding Kara there.”

He shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous. I can’t let you go.”

“What do you propose instead, then?” she snaps, starting to feel anxious and frustrated.

“Tell me which pier.”

“No.” She crosses her arms. “You need to get to the DEO as fast as you can to tell Alex to turn around. They think Kara’s in Metropolis.”

“Lena Luthor—“

“Look, I’m not saying I can save her, alright?” She scowls. “It’s either that you go and get yourself hurt within a few seconds by his twenty-odd goons, or that I go to buy her some time and her chances of getting help are a bit better.” She stares him down. “Please, James.”

He flinches at that. “I’m not—“

“You don’t disguise your gait nearly as well as Kara does,” Lena cuts in. “Please. You know I’m right.”

He shakes his head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“And how is it any safer for you?”

“I have equipment—“

“So do I. Some probably more advanced than yours. And I’m the only one who can buy Kara more time.”

He groans, frustrated. “If you’re thinking that you can distract Lex, you need to remember that he tried to kill you—how do you know he won’t just kill you on sight?”

She smirks at bit at that, only a touch hysterical. “I don’t. But my chances of talking to him are better than yours, I wager.”

She sees him screw his eyes shut, then open them with a hard stare. She would laugh, if it wasn’t so urgent—there they are, the two of them, the only ones who know what it is to love and be loved by Kara Danvers. How intoxicating it is, how eye-opening. How terrifying it is to be a human in love with a god.

“This is a stupid idea. Take these,” he says, fishing out a small earpiece from his belt. “DEO issue short-range communicator. Within fifty feet, it should work through any jammer. You’ll know when backup arrives.”

Lena takes them.

“Thank you.”

He rests a heavy hand on her shoulder, kind brown eyes softening.

“Play it safe.”

Lena laughs and shakes her head.

“You know I can’t promise that.”

He sighs heavily, not protesting—because, she’s sure, he knows that he can’t promise anything like that when it comes to Kara either. None of them can—be it Winn or Alex, all of them are so hopelessly entwined around the brightest being to have ever walked the earth. She would die for all of them, and they would die for her.

Lena takes a deep breath as James mounts his bike, giving her one last look before racing away down the road. Hopefully it won’t have to come to that. She jams the comms unit in her ear as she hastily shoves herself into her car, buckling herself in for a rough ride.

She revs the car and grips the wheel tight. It’s time to see what this thing can do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is a little bit cluttered, it's my first time writing an exciting action-based plot! I've literally only done emotional or political conflict up until now so I'm a little disappointed at myself for how... not-cohesive it is, but i really wanted to push out a chapter before the weekend rolled over so I did my best.
> 
> Thank you always for your comments- i live in a perpetual cycle of feeling invincible to straight up wanting to die and i've been hitting the lower side of that lately and i can't tell you how encouraging your comments are. I really really just want to craft an enjoyable, satisfying experience for you guys and you're all so lovely- i have a lot of trouble talking to people so please know that im slowly working up to interacting more online and that i appreciate everything that you leave here. there's about a 40% chance more that i'll reply on tumblr, if you wanted to get a message to me or ask me anything!
> 
> and also, those of you who write in the supercorp tag, know that i read your stuff and i'm working myself up to leaving worthwhile comments on your stories!!! i love them!!
> 
> the second half of the final showdown comes next week, and i hope i can make it a big enough bang. until then, thank you again for all your encouragement and i hope you guys have a great valentines day with your loved ones, romantic or platonic!
> 
> PS i also curate fandom playlists, and i have an angsty one for Kara's feelings about being left on earth and another one about Lena's process of falling in love with Kara (the counterpart from Kara's point of view is still a work in progress) so please come check them out! you can just hit up wtfoctagon.tumblr.com/tagged/playlists or find me on spotify at wtfoctagon. thanks again!
> 
> (and yes, I am canadian! although i imagine my writing style ends up being a weird hybrid of canadian and american bc i grew up in california for a while)


	8. where it all comes to a head pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luthor angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for waiting guys!!! only one more chapter to go and i've got my firsrt Big Ficc wrapped up. I'll be taking a short hiatus for school but then im switching to writing for Supergirl in Training full time so look out for updates!!
> 
> thanks so much for staying along for the ride, it's been amazing
> 
> PS i have no idea how to write a montage properly but im sure ill learn somewhere along the way pls be patient!!!
> 
> PPS I cast Lee Pace as Lex Luthor so just look up clips of him from Halt and Catch Fire to get a feel for this chapter
> 
> This chapter has been sponsored by T.M. and their generous donation of pizza!!!

Lois smiles softly as she wraps her hands around the metal canteen of tea.

“Stop pacing, Smallville. You’re making me nervous.”

The joke doesn’t land. Clark looks up from his studious observation of his boots, stopping in his tracks and giving her this—this broken, crumpling sort of frown. His little curly lock of hair falls straight into his face but he doesn’t brush it away like he usually does, and god, does he look like such a worried puppy—Lois laughs as she takes a sip of her tea and glances at the agents milling about on the deck. 

“I’m worried,” he says, starting to pace again. “They can’t get in touch with the DEO, we have no update on Kara, and we’re travelling in a goddamn  _ boat _ .”

“It’s a warship, sweetie.”

He grunts. “It could be taken down. It’s too slow. We should’ve taken a jet-“

“That could also be taken down. And, you know, saving people who know how to swim from drowning is a lot less stressful than saving humans falling to their deaths.”

“I should’ve just flown you—“

“And leave behind the capable agents with the anti-kryptonite technology?” Lois sighs. “Clark, calm down. Lucy’s got this.”

He stills with his back to her—the moonlight glints off the sea, stretching to the horizon, and Clark’s silhouette in the silver halo makes him look like a broad-shouldered hero about to face his greatest tragedy.

Lois snorts. She’s read more tragedies than she’s cared to count—and while all of this has the poetic makings of a sad epic, she refuses. Maybe the world’s a stage, but screenplays are written and she’ll be damned before she hands the pen over to anyone else.

Clark doesn’t flinch when she reaches up to drape the blanket over his shaking shoulders, bundling them both close together. 

“Chin up, farm boy,” she laughs softly, cradling his face. “Everything’s going to be ok.”

He shakes his head. “I’m scared,” he whispers, drawing himself into her arms. “When I heard you’d been attacked, I couldn’t—I couldn’t think, I couldn’t lose you, and now Kara’s missing and I—“

He trembles—the Man of Steel shakes, fragile breaths coming in brittle gasps, his brave heart coming apart at the seams, and Lois holds him up with her arms.

“She’s right,” he says. “I ran away from her. I left her alone and now if anything happens to her that’ll have been all I’ve ever done for her.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” she murmurs, leaning their foreheads together, running her hands through his hair. “Alex will find her.”

“I can’t lose her, Lois, not after everything I’ve done—everything I haven’t done. This can’t be it.”

She shakes her head. “It’s gonna be ok. This is our love story, Smallville,” she laughs in that way she does in the face of sadness. “We were two lonely, fucked up kids who were so desperate to be normal and not alone that we took one look at the white picket fence and went  _ running _ without ever looking back.” She smiles and cards her fingers through his hair again, eyes trailing across the panes of his face. “But then we grew up. We came back. I came back for Lucy, and you,” she says, cupping his jaw, “came back for Kara. And maybe we don’t deserve to be forgiven but goddamn it if we aren’t going to try, okay?” 

He smiles, then, a small, soft, brittle little thing, gulping down his panic and shuffling his feet—just like the first time they met.

“Trust in Alex and J’onn,” she says. “Trust in your family. Things are going to be alright.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispers, holding her close. 

“You’d probably manage,” she quips, “but only after crashing and burning a little. We can’t all be perfect.”

He laughs, kissing her. 

“My hero,” he says in a cracked whisper. 

She slings her arms over his shoulders and closes her eyes. “Always.” 

* * *

The streetlights flicker back on as James bikes past a few crashes, a few people sitting on the curb looking helpless—he only runs past one more red light before dropping into the front of the DEO, jumping through the front doors.

“Guardian!” Winn jogs out to him, tablet still in hand, tie crooked.

“Winn. Where’s J’onn?”

“On the way out to Metropolis—why?”

James curses under his breath. “Supergirl’s still in National City.”

“Shit.” Winn’s eyes widen. “ _ Shit _ —comms are down, we can’t—“

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long have they been out?”

“About an hour—where are you going?”

“After them. I need to tell Alex to turn back. Keep trying to get the comms up.”

“Guardian, wai—goddammit. He doesn’t listen to me. Why doesn’t he ever listen to me?”

* * *

The power surges back on in hospitals and fire stations and police stations—Maggie’s out in the cruiser lot, yelling out dispatch instructions to deputies, when a disheveled girl in a suit comes up to her.

“Officer! Officer—“

“Please be patient and return to your residence, Ma’am, the NCPD is doing everything we can—“

“No, Officer, I’m here to help— my name is Alison Lee, I’m from L-Corp—“

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to say but we have multiple emergencies on hand—“

“I’m here to help! I have a message from acting CEO Jessica Hoang—we’ve managed to tap into the mainframe, but not for long. We can’t restore communications but we can broadcast a short message—can you get me in touch with someone who can authorize an announcement for National City?”

* * *

“Why are you doing this?” Kara groans, trying to pull her knees up to her chest and only managing to shift her weight listlessly. The red sun radiation wraps around her bones and makes sure she feels every pulse of every bruise, every sting of her heartbeat against fractured ribs. “He’s trying to kill you.”

The Venati looks at her impassively, standing guard. He glances at Lex but the man doesn’t notice them talking, still hunched over the broadcast machine. 

“He’s trying to get rid of us. And we want to leave.”

Kara shakes her head. “You don’t know that he’ll help you.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he sneers. “Our children are dying. This atmosphere is killing them. And he’s the only one who can send them to safety.”

“You can’t trust him.”

“We have no choice.” A flicker of pity goes through his eyes. “Nothing personal, Supergirl. We do what we must.”

* * *

“Mija!” Tony yells, setting down his phone on the counter. “Mija, come away from the windows!”

Kris hesitated before letting the curtains fall back, running over to help her foster father back onto the couch. 

“Tony,” she starts, coughing. “I’m scared.”

He draws his arm around her shoulders. 

“S’gonna be alright. Just a blackout.”

She shakes her head. “Something doesn’t feel right. The man on TV said we’d—“

“It was a bullsh—a silly little prank, Mija. The city’s dealing with it, see?”

Letters scroll across the TV screen as they have been for the past while: [CITIZENS OF NATIONAL CITY, PLEASE STAY INDOORS, THE CITY IS WORKING TO RESTORE POWER AND COMMUNICATION]

“Something’s not right,” Kris murmurs, still. Tony smiles as brightly as he can.

“Why don’t you go light your favourite candle? The one you save for emergencies?”

She looks at him pensively before hopping off into the kitchen. He runs a hand over his face. 

* * *

Peebee startles and nearly sends Marco flying when Jess’s TV fuzzes over the municipal message. The cat yowls in her lap before repositioning, blissfully unaware of the dreadful scene playing out behind him—that same warehouse from the previous broadcast, with the same armed men standing around the same battered and bruised Supergirl. 

Lex Luthor steps into view, in a perfectly pressed white shirt, a gun in his hand and a pleasant smile on his face.

“Hello, National City. Thank you for waiting—the long awaited moment has come.”

“No,” Peebee whispers under her breath and Marco yowls again.

“This alien menace has been terrorizing your good city for a year now, claiming to be a force of good—but tell me, how many alien attacks did you have before she showed up?”

He paces, dramatically sweeping his arms out—Peebee flinches when the gun points in Supergirl’s direction and Marco finally takes off, tired of her fidgeting.

“Tonight, I free you, all of you. I erase the target that this interloper has painted onto your city—“

Shouting, yelling, the sound of taser going off—Lex and a few goons step away and there’s a scuffle off-screen, until a woman shouts and none other than Lena Luthor is thrown into view. 

She scrambles backwards immediately, probably scraping her knees in her haste, pressing her back up against Supergirl and throwing her arms out protectively—fierce and mortal, dressed in her usual regalia of a black dress and grey coat. Lex steps back on screen, wiping away some blood from his lip and lifting his gun at them. 

“Get out of the way, Lena,” he growls, shoulder tensing dangerously. 

“No,” she snarls defiantly, chin tipped up. 

“ _ Get out of the way!” _ He roars, gun shaking. “She’s a menace, she needs to die—“

_ “You’re going to have to go through me first!” _

He yells, outraged—he grips his head, then turns swiftly to aim the gun at the camera—

The feed cuts out before Peebee hears the gunshots go off. For a moment, she’s completely still, then she slips off the couch onto her knees, clasping her hands over her head.

_ Arzheatta, Goddess of Grace, I ask not for my own salvation, only that you spare this orphan wanderer. She has lost so much, Our Lady in the Stars, I beg of you, let not this world take away any more of her loved ones… _

* * *

Lena grits her teeth in an effort not to flinch when Lex shoots the camera, heart beating out of her chest. Kara whimpers at her weakly, something about her needing to get out of here, but she just reaches a hand back to hold her elbow. She wishes she had the time to look her over for injuries as she glances around wildly at the Venati standing by—they stare impassively, silent as Lex turns back to her. His snarl falls, the lines of his face smoothing out before cinching up again in a  _ grin. _

“That was amazing, Lee—better than anything I could’ve asked for, honestly!” 

He laughs, looking  _ elated _ ; and this, this is truly the first time in forever that Lena’s seen him smile in earnest, and not for public appearances. Crows feet crinkle at the edges of his green eyes, his cheeks dimpling asymmetrically over his lopsided smile—the combination of his strong brows and round ears that stick out just the slightest bit complete the look, making him look just the right balance of boyish and soulful and somehow he’s her brother again. The charming young man who clapped at her graduation, who always came down to the labs to make sure she was eating, the boy whose shoulders always seemed too broad for his gentle nature until he stepped into the boardroom, every bit the leader Lena would have followed into the depths of hell back then.

“I mean, you were a little early, I have to admit, I had a few more lines written up before you came in—and god, you’ve got a mean right hook— but that doesn’t matter—National City’s going to eat that performance up.”

He doesn’t look pale and sickly cold like the last time she saw him—he’s flushed with excitement, his skin looks almost  _ warm _ in the yellow light of the warehouse. She tries to shake off her shock and grimaces. “It wasn’t a performance—if you think for one moment you won’t have to kill me before I let you lay a hand on her, then you’re  _ sorely _ mistaken.”

His smile falters—but instead of transitioning into a cold, grim frown like she’s seen so many times during his trial, it  _ softens _ . His lips press into a sad line, brows furrowing almost sympathetically as he cants his head and holds his arms behind his back.

“Of course it wasn’t a performance, I know. I didn’t mean to imply your feelings for Supergirl aren’t real, Lena—“ he smiles softly—“I just meant that was more perfect than I planned. There’s no way they won’t believe you now—you’ll be a  _ hero _ . Talk of the town for months.”

She frowns, trying to grasp just  _ what the hell is going on _ —

“What do you care about my reputation?” she demands, fists clenching. “ _ You’re _ the reason it’s all gone to hell!”

He frowns again, that  _ soft _ , apologetic one. “I know.” The deep cadences of his voice rumble just like when he’d comfort her after another one of Lillian’s tirades. “I’m sorry about that, Leelee, I really am.”

The pet name hits her in the gut,  _ hard. _ She clenches her jaw against the tears burning under her lashes, because this—she wasn’t prepared for this. She was prepared to face the Lex from the trial, the Lex she barely saw in those last few years, the cold-hearted, calculating man who raged against his enemies—

She wasn’t prepared for this. She wasn’t prepared to see the brother who’d been taken from her.

“What the  _ hell _ is this, Lex?”

He shifts his weight and tucks his chin for a moment, looking back up at her with a remorseful smile.

“You give me too little credit, Lee. You think I wouldn’t know you’d see through my ruse in a second?”

The red herring. The blackout and communications jam. 

He shakes his head. “I told you you’re the most brilliant person I’ve ever met. And I meant it.”

It’s too much.

“Drop the  _ act _ ,” she hisses. “Last time I heard from you was you sending an  _ assassin _ after me. For the fifth time.”

He sighs, glancing at his shoes before tugging a rusty chair towards himself and sitting down heavily. His gun rests over his left leg, the safety still clicked off.

“Would you give me a chance to earn your forgiveness if I asked?” He gives her a sorry grimace. “You have to understand, I was angry—after everything I’d dome for the company, I thought you were trying to strike me and dad off its history. I didn’t think you had the right, and I made bad decisions—I’m sorry.”

He leans forward on his elbows, looking so  _ goddamn _ remorseful—and she swallows harshly.

“So what’s changed now, Lex? You suddenly love me too now that you need something from me? What is it? Another L-Corp invention? Money?”

He shakes his head slowly. 

“I’m sorry about Mom.”

“Oh,  _ please _ ,” she scoffs. “As if you’re not in the same camp as her with your genocidal ravings. Isn’t this the part where you tell me how disgraceful it is for me to be consorting with alienkind?”

He sighs and runs his free hand over his face.

“They’re dangerous, Lena. They’re too unpredictable for all the influence that they wield. Look how the entire world turned on you the moment a photo got out.”

“Because of what  _ you’ve _ done!” Her voice breaks around her shout. “All the evil things you did haunt every move I make, Lex,  _ you _ doomed me to this!”

He frowns grimly. 

“Exactly. I regret that I’ve made life hard for you, Lena, I do—but how do you know they won’t always see you as just like me? How long until they inevitably turn on you?”

“They won’t,” she says, voice shaking with conviction, surprising herself—all that doubt, that anger, that fear has gone somewhere else now since the day Supergirl came to her with news of her mother’s wrongdoings. 

“How do you know?” His voice rises emphatically. “How do you know she won’t just give up on you?”

“Because she loves me!” Because she is Lena Luthor, she is the unwanted orphan, she is the prodigal daughter, she is the one who tries and tries again to be good, to be better, to do the  _ right _ thing without faltering—because she has never had to negotiate for Kara’s love, it’s always simply been a fact based upon who she is and if she didn’t know anything about herself before this she knows that being that person—being the person that Kara Zor-El loves makes her  _ stronger _ . 

She clenches her fists, unafraid. 

“And I love her too.”

Lena expects anger—indignant rage, spittling words of how she’s disgracing the family name, how aliens aren’t fit to be loved, how disgusted he is with her—she expects all the worst things he could say and she steels herself because she doesn’t care. He could tirade against her all he likes. To love and be loved by the girl behind her, the girl leaning forward even in her battered state to affirm her, is the most  _ human _ experience she has ever been graced with. 

Instead, his brows furrow the way they do when he’s holding back tears.

“You think Clark and I didn’t love each other too?”

There’s a waver in his voice that’s just so vulnerable, so broken, his eyes narrowing with so much sadness. He shakes his head, letting his wrists dangle over his thighs, shoulders slumping.

“They’re beautiful creatures, aren’t they?” He laughs listlessly. “I was fooled too. Even when he couldn’t love me back the way I loved him, he told me I was still a part of him—it’s intoxicating, isn’t it?” He fixes her with a piercing stare. “I thought that I could take on the whole world if he stayed by my side. I thought it could be just the two of us, for the rest of our lives. But his love—“ He clenches his jaw. “Their love is a curse, Lena.”

“You’re  _ wrong _ .”

He shakes his head. “There’s a reason I never told you how Lana died.”

Lena stills. She remembers—Lana, wonderful Lana. Lana with her big smiles and tan skin, Lana who made Lex so happy Lena couldn’t help but love her by proxy despite not knowing very much about her.

“They said—“ she hesitates. “They said she disappeared.”

“Because I lied to protect  _ him _ .” He stands up, tears dewing in his eyes, face crumpled. “Do you remember when I was kidnapped by that Amertek goon?”

“Over a patent dispute,” Lena murmurs. “Superman saved you from an overloading reactor—“

“I didn’t want him to!” His shoulders shudder, his grip tightening around the gun. “It wasn’t just me there—Lana was with me when I was kidnapped,” he cries out hoarsely, “we were both chained down by the reactor and when he came, he—“ he stops, shoulders heaving. “He knew he only had time to save one of us. I begged him— _ begged _ him to save Lana. He wouldn’t listen.”

She remembers him changing after that—smiling less, locking himself up in his lab, going on long trips to nowhere. She chalked it up to losing Lana. 

“He loved you, Lex—“

“Lana was pregnant.” He takes a deep breath. “And he  _ knew _ .”

And they’re silent for a moment, because Lena has nothing to say. Nothing she  _ can _ say. She hears Kara take a sharp inhale behind her and squeezes her elbow.

“Do you understand, Lena?” He sighs. “Beings with that much power shouldn’t be able to love—if they make mortal choices, they  _ choose _ who lives or dies. He  _ chose _ that I would live and my fiancée and unborn child would die. Do you know how terrifying that realization is?”

She shakes her head. “He did it for you.”

“ _ Exactly _ .” Lex paces, hands gesturing more frantically. “He did it for me. He told me he couldn’t live without me—it didn’t matter what I would’ve wanted. He held that power over my life, he holds that power over every human’s life.” He stops, turns to look at Lena again with teary eyes. “And I cannot accept that. No one should be allowed to have that kind of power over humanity. He and his ilk—“ he says, pointing at Kara, and Lena shifts to cover her “—need to be stopped.”

And she  _ hates _ that she can understand him, understand where he’s coming from. That deep, existential terror of being so close to a god on earth—the knowledge that they could raze the world to the ground on a whim as easily as they save it, it keeps her up some nights too. 

“The fear of things outside of our control is only human, Lex.” She grits her teeth. “But their power is no different than the kind of evil things we do to each other. War and famine are all caused by the choices of those in power—and I don’t see you planning genocide on the leaders of the western world.”

He grimaces. “That’s different, Lena. Money and political power are things that are possible for any human being. None of us just wake up, suddenly able to lift buildings—we have no choice in the matter.”

“And how much choice did the people you killed have, Lex?” She shakes her head. “How much choice did they have when you caused that earthquake, when you bombed those buildings?” She asks, brows furrowed fiercely. “I’m sorry that he hurt you, Lex, but at some point—at some point we have to stop and take responsibility for our own actions. You  _ hurt _ innocent people. Nothing can justify that.”

He stares at her, then, posture now rigid, all traces of sorrow smoothed out from his face. His eyes bore into hers, suddenly cold, suddenly blank. 

“Saving the world requires sacrifice,” he states simply. “You of all people know that you can’t stop a great power without an equal and opposite force.”

“They weren’t your lives to sacrifice,” she tries to reason with him. 

She thinks he might crack, finally—that he might finally kill her hope that there’s some of her brother left under the mask of a murderer, but instead, he smiles that soft, sad, lopsided smile again.

“You were always the better one than me, Lena.” He shakes his head ruefully. “You’re going to be a wonderful leader after I’m gone.”

She frowns, bewildered. “ _ What _ ?”

He paces back to the chair, leaning his hip against the back of it. 

“You’re right that I can’t justify what I’ve done. When aliens are eradicated from earth and the future of humanity is secured, I’ll have to be punished for my crimes—I admit that readily. I’m prepared. I will have been humanity’s leader in times of war, and you—“ he looks at her fondly “—you, with all your brilliance and kindness, will be the perfect leader in times of peace. You’ll be my perfect successor.”

She scoffs. “Your crazy is showing, Lex. I knew about your cultish tendencies, but this? You just said you wanted to kill me because I didn’t have the  _ right _ to change the Luthor legacy. Nevermind that it’s a legacy of hate and murder.”

“I said that I  _ didn’t _ think you had the right.” He takes a few steps forward, grimacing emphatically. “You have to believe me when I say that I’m truly sorry, Lena. I didn’t know the truth until recently.”

Lena swallows harshly.

“The truth?”

He smiles, brows furrowing as if in awe and wonder, kneeling down on one knee a few steps away from the two women. 

“You weren’t just adopted, Lena. Some years after I was born, Dad started having an affair with a Contessa he met during a business trip. And I know—I know I should be disappointed in him, but I can’t—“ he shakes his head, bursting into a teary smile. “I can’t bring myself to be anything but happy to find out that you’re my sister, Lena. My  _ real _ sister.”

His words fill her mind like slow drops, going to the very brim and teetering on the precipice before finally bursting and overflowing—all the times Lillian tormented her, all the times she was made to feel like an outsider stain her thoughts like ink. All the times she looked in the mirror, studying parts of her face, finding resemblances between herself and her father and imagining— _ dreaming _ that somehow, somehow, somehow, she could really be related to them—all the little similarities that she held dear to her heart, the same blood type, the same hobbies, the same brilliance—all those vain little hopes she buried in her chest claw out of their graves with a vengeance and she can’t do anything but let out a little breathless laugh.

How cruel, she thinks. All that loneliness and want for a family and it finally comes to this. 

Tickles of hair on the back of her neck bring her back to reality. Kara struggles against the shackles chaining her hands back to the red lamps, murmuring softly.

“Lena, Lena are you okay?”

Lena squeezes her eyes shut and twists her arm around a bit awkwardly to pat her on the knee once. Of course. Of course Kara’s trying to comfort her, in this situation, when she might be in incredible pain—between the bursting of affection in her chest and the suddenly upturned world, it’s too much, it’s too much. 

“You can’t be serious,” she whispers, a tear slipping down her cheek. 

He smiles at her, slowly getting back up to his feet. “Why do you think I set this all up, Lena? I wanted to see you again. I wanted to be able to tell you this in person. I wanted to ask you to join me.”

She scoffs. “You could’ve called.”

“And you would’ve come, probably,” he says sadly. “But I knew, that as long as she was out there—“ Lena flinches as Lex waves the gun at Kara “—you’d never agree. You’d never agree to betraying her. So I decided to set it all up for you, Lena. All you have to do is say yes.”

“Say yes to what, Lex? Genocidal madness?”

“To saving humanity. You can turn me in after this. You’d be a hero—you’d be able to do things with L-Corp that I never could. We could work together.”

She laughs. “And do you seriously think I’d believe you’d leave her alone?” She shakes her head. “I’m not stupid, Lex.”

“No, you’re not.” He sighs. “I wouldn’t harm her.”

“I don’t believe you,” she spits. 

“Have some faith,” he chuckles. “I have a vault, in the Mojave—one of many. I can give you the coordinates. It has a serum I’ve been working on for years. I was on the verge of perfecting it—and I know that you can, Lee.”

She flinches at the pet name. “And  _ why _ would I do that?” 

“Because it can take a Kryptonian’s power away,” he breathes, eyes widening with excitement. “It’ll make them, in essence, a normal human. You’d be able to have a normal human life with her, Lena. No more Supergirl, no more worrying about superhuman powers and godly authority, just you and her,  _ happy _ .”

Kara gasps behind her. 

“Think about it, Leelee,” he says. “Join me. Join me and you can keep her—and we can be a family again, Lee. No Mom or Dad to make us feel not enough, or to pit us against each other. Just you and me, like old times.”

He takes another step forwards, holding his hand out for her, smiling—it’s that smile, the sweet one, the one that always made her feel safe and at home, the small, close-mouthed one that he gave her the first time she beat him at chess. 

_ “…Lena? Lena, this is Alex, can you hear me?” _

Lena swallows harshly, rising to her feet, doing her best to ignore Kara’s small, dismayed whispers.

_ “Lena, we’re closing in on the warehouse. We need a signal.” _

She rises to her full height, taking in a deep breath—she lifts her chin and levels her eyes at her brother.

_ “Lena—Lena, this is Alex, come in. We’re on standby outside. Lena, do you copy?” _

Her brother. He smiles at her, all sunshine and boyish charm and love, a future together laid on his open palm.

She swallows back a sob.

“No matter what happens,” she whispers, voice cracking. “Know that I love you, Lex.”

He grins, stretching his hand further towards her.

She reaches up into her earpiece.

“ _ Now _ , Alex!” She yells—chaos breaks loose as the warehouse door slams open to a DEO strike team—Lena takes the moment when Lex turns in surprise to yank the puff grenade out of her pocket and throw it.

The space shrouds with smoke, and Lena coughs into her sleeve as she crouches back down and deploys the black body field generator next to negate any tricks Lex might have up his sleeve—she leaves it beeping on the floor as she crawls back to Kara, trying to keep her head low, stay out of the firefight going on in the smoke.

“Lena,” Kara coughs, and Lena’s heart breaks because this is the first good look she’s gotten at her girlfriend—a big black bruise mottles across her right eye, dried blood across a split in her lip, face smeared with grime from being tossed around.

“Just hold on, love,” she says, scooting around to get a better look at the shackles. “I’m going to get you out of here.”

The field doesn’t seem to be shutting down the red device any—probably a red sun replicator, she thinks, trying to find a power source that she can cut—she flinches as a shot ricochets near her, looking up and cursing under her breath as the smoke starts to dissipate already.

Goddamn prototype.

The strike team is engaged with the Venati, obviously trying to take them down with non-lethal force, and she glances over her shoulder to find Alex and Lex grappling each other—having disarmed one another and fighting hand-to-hand to get to a gun lying just a few feet away. She glances back down at the device, trying to disable it—she glances back up, anxiously, only to see that Lex is getting the upper hand and god  _ no— _

A revolver belonging to one of the Venati clatters near her as the brawls get more intense. She takes one look at it—one look at Lex who’s leaving a pained Alex on the ground and reaching for the gun—

She dives for the revolver and points it upwards just as Lex levels the gun at the agent.

“Alex!” Kara cries out, and every goes slow—her heartbeat pounds, her breath drags through her throat, Lex turns to her in surprise and begins to lift the gun towards her—she has a clear shot at his head, a clear shot, too clear, too clean—

She squeezes the trigger and two shots ring out in the echo of the warehouse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> b4 u get mad at me, ask urself: would this fucking luthor stanning heaux of a writer really kill either of the luthor sibs off
> 
> hey! check out my new fic Supergirl In Training, and it's companion drabble series Kids Will Be Kids
> 
> I also got a new twitter @wtfoctagon

**Author's Note:**

> hey visit me at wtfoctagon on tumblr
> 
> I don't have the time to take commissions or write enough to open up a patreon yet but if you'd like to leave a tip of a dollar or so, my paypal is in my profile!


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